After a whole lot of hassles which I’ll not bore you with, social services have at long last approved a week’s respite care for my partner. He’ll be staying in a very nice residential home for a week, which just happens to be managed by someone who lived round the corner from me when I was a wean and is still a family friend – so I don’t need to worry about him being looked after properly.
The dug is going on a rural holiday, and is going to stay with some friends who live outside the city where he can spend a few days running in mud, barking at foxes and squirrels, and persuading the local dugs of the advantages of a yes vote by leaving messages in the form of pee on lampposts. Pissing all over Scottish streets doesn’t work so well at persuading humans, that’s the big mistake being made by the no campaign.
And I’m off to London to visit family and friends. After Davie Cameron made his plea for folk down south to call and beg us not to go, I sat by the phone for days. But apart from a wee guy who was going on about reclaiming money from falsely sold payment protection or something (I wasn’t really listening), it didn’t ring. I did thank the wee man for his call and asked if he really did love Scottish people, but he seemed to think I was making a sexual advance and rapidly hung up.
I’ll need to use that tactic again with cold callers. It’s almost as effective at getting rid of unwanted calls as telling Mormon missionaries that you are delighted with their visit as you are deeply ecumenical and believe that it’s important that people of faith share their experiences – then casually mentioning that you’re a Satanist and inviting them to sacrifice a chicken with you while smiling and asking “You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”
By the way, I’m already thinking of tactics to lure in any no campaigners who appear on my doorstep, so I can make them waste a half hour or more of campaigning time. There’s not many no campaigners, and the more time we can make them waste the better. So be very nice and polite to them, and offer them a wee cup of tea.
Meanwhile I’m away to see our English family and friends in person, before they turn into foreigners and I won’t understand anything they’re talking about. Mind you, two of them are my daughters, and they’re already foreign. But that’s got nothing to do with them being English, and everything to do with the workings of the teenage female mind being deeply alien to a middle aged man. But it will still be great to see them.
So there won’t be any updates to the blog until the end of next week. I’ll try and log on from time to time to authorise any new comments that haven’t appeared automatically, but I’ll only have intermittent access to the internet when I’m away. If you have posted comments previously, you should now be authorised and your comments will appear immediately, everyone else will have to wait. Sorry ’bout that. Normal service will be resumed after we all get back home – which is Thursday 6 March.