A jam of its own creation

Isn’t Brexit great? It’s creating loads of job opportunities for Britain’s young people. Now your kids can aspire to do all those minimum wage backbreaking unskilled agricultural labouring jobs that East European migrants used to do. Isn’t that marvellous? You thought that little Katie might go into engineering, but no, her country needs her to pick the fruit for all that innovative jam instead. You know, the jam that Liam Fox’s department thinks that the French are going to need, so they’ll cave in to all of Britain’s fruitiest demands.

But it gets even better, because we’ll be having none of that pesky interference from Brussels, we can have good old fashioned racist jam with ethnic stereotypes on the label. On a personal level I’m delighted with this news, as it means I’ll be able to secure a meagre living of some sort picking raspberries, since satire in the UK has been overtaken by reality and the biggest raspberry of all is the one that the Tory party is giving the people of Scotland.

The EU is giving all young EU citizens a free railpass so that they can experience the culture and diversity of the continent, they have the right to work and study in 27 countries. In the UK working class kids will get a bucket and will walk doubled over down a row of potato plants howking totties, doing the sort of jobs that their ancestors did over two hundred years ago before the industrial revolution and then returning to a rented hovel. Neo-serfdom, it’s the new British civil right in a country that works for everyone, or rather, works everyone into the ground.

According to our fruity masters, the neo-serfs are going to be involved in the design of the new patriotic British passport. That’s the one that’s going to say entry denied to any British citizen that’s hoping to live, work or study in Europe. I suggest a red circle with a white bar across it surrounded by a border of barbed wire. No welcome for foreigners into Britain, no escape for British citizens abroad. Little Britain in its glorious isolation stewing in its own racist jam.

Just a few weeks ago our unelected PM told us that the Union was precioussssss and she wouldn’t consider triggering the Brexit process until there was a UK wide approach. Theresa May herself told the Scottish Tory conference in 2012 that Scotland and England were equal partners in the Union. Now she’s triggering Brexit and bugger what the Scottish government and the Scottish people think. There’s that respect and affection that Westminster has for Scotland right there, stuffed in a jar with some rotten fruit. It’s a peculiar definition of equality.

A second indyref is now a certainty. There is as much chance of the so-called reverse Greenland as there is of Ruth Davidson actually conceding that her party has failed to deliver any of their promises made to Scotland during the independence campaign. It’s only the Scottish government that is expected to respect the result and the commitments made. Ruth thinks that the 2014 indyref gave her party a free pass to do as it pleases in perpetuity. Material changes of circumstance don’t come any more material than a Scotland that voted to remain a part of the EU by a considerably larger margin than it voted to remain a part of the UK being dragged against its will into a hard Brexit. We are where we are because of the historic failure of the Unionist establishment to deliver on what they promised Scotland. We are where we are because Unionism has failed and has been shown to be incorporation and abnegation. If Scotland really was an equal partner in a free Union of nations none of this would be happening.

It’s time for the Labour party and Lib Dems to face reality. There is only one way that Scotland can maintain its EU membership. There is only one way in which the democratic will of the Scottish people to remain engaged with Europe can be fulfilled. It’s time for Labour and the Lib Dems to stop playing fantasy politics and to allow those of their members who choose to do so to campaign freely and openly for an independent Scotland. It’s time to grow up. It’s time to take responsibility. Stop posturing, stop claiming that you can deliver the impossible. It’s either a modern outward looking civic Scotland that engages with the rest of the world and works to build social equality and justice at home, or it’s decades of authoritarian Tories taking an axe to your rights and consigning your kids to a future of unskilled labour. That’s your choice. No other options are available.

May has announced a start to Brexit, and has given away her bargaining chips with the rest of the EU. All the Tories have is jam and all Labour has is Jerusalem. All the cards are in European hands, all the power rests with Brussels. The EU has no need to negotiate a trade deal with the UK with anything like the urgency that the UK needs to negotiate a trade deal with the EU. The Tories claim that Europe needs British goods and services, but the truth is that Europe would be more than happy for those companies to relocate to an EU country after Brexit. The EU will be happy to block the UK from the single market if the UK insists on no freedom of movement, it will create jobs for workers in other EU countries.

The only way for Scotland to preserve its status a modern European nation is to make a break from a Westminster which is unfit for purpose. Westminster is careening headlong into an economic and political catastrophe that will last for generations. But Scotland doesn’t have to follow it over the cliff edge. We can be that other EU country that British companies relocate to. It’s time we left the UK and left Westminster in a jam of its own creation.

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0 thoughts on “A jam of its own creation

  1. I have seven kids to consider, and their future, and I want freedom of movement for them. All sorts of freedoms. One of them is just back from a three month stint working in Spain. No one’s horizons should be foreshortened. An independent Scotland is the only way I can see that happening. And six of them will be able to vote! That’s eight YESES from this quarter. Come on, Nicola! Now!

  2. But, Paul, farmers wouldn’t let Scots youngsters loose on their fields and orchards. They would vandalise the crops and steal the fruit, according to Ruth Davidson.
    You continue to describe the reality of May and her band of brexiteers.
    She has gone out on a limb and has begun sawing through the branch upon which she now perches precariously.
    We need to keep our cool, and watch the disaster unfold through our fingers.
    When Indyref 2 ‘cracks on’, in the early spring 2019, then there will be nothing left with which Darling, Brown, and Sarwar (Dugdale will be long gone by then, on life support following the May 2107 bloodbath) and May can threaten us.
    Davidson should resign immediately. She is an utter disgrace.
    Keeping it real , man, comme d’habitude. Brill.

      • Ooops.
        I am minded of two gentile ladies who pointed out an error in Dr Johnson’s 58,000 word dictionary, a massive feat at the time. They asked him to explain himself. How did he account for such an error.
        ‘Ignorance, dear ladies, ignorance.’
        Robert, ‘2107.’
        Sloppiness, dear boy, sloppiness.’

  3. Pingback: A jam of its own creation | speymouth

  4. Thank goodness I’ve been making jams and jellies all weekend. At least if the French don’t want them I’ll have something to eat when this lot have taken everything else from us. My big worry now is that Brexit will be so messy and difficult that some will fear leaving the UK might be just as messy and difficult and “not worth the bother”. I sincerely hope I’m wrong.

  5. Pingback: A jam of its own creation | pictishbeastie

  6. You get the Japanese, the Germans and the Americans moving their car making facilities out of UK and onto the European mainland. The production and all the jobs that go with it, would be lost to Britain and extra costs would be added for people in Britain wanting to buy those same cars. There isn’t a version of Brexit that ends up with us being better off, or even treading water. It would be funny if it wasn’t so downright depressing.

  7. Up until now, it’s been a game of brinkmanship between the EU, Westminster and Scotland playing piggy in the middle. May has blinked first, probably pressured by the divisions in her own party, and the fact the UK government has bugger all in the way of a coherent plan.
    Now we soon come to enter the impasse which is, that whilst Scotland can’t prevent Brexit, the Uk government at the same time can’t force Scotland to give up it’ EU membership.
    Popcorn anyone?

  8. Well said Paul.

    I think for the rest of us now its a case of… Steady! Steady in the line. Wait till you see the whites of their eyes. 🙂

    May has made a big announcement or two at conference between a timscale for kick off and the ‘great repeal act’, but a lot can happen between now and the end of March next year. True she’s also blown the myth of partnership on these isles out of the water to boot. All grist for the mill and no great shockeroonie to readers I’m sure, but her off hand dismissal of N.I. and Scotland’s electorate should focus the minds of a few voters out there.

    We need to make the most of the time between now and kick off. For just like May, our FM needs time to gather information on the mood of the electorate, prepare legislation and form strategy if the Scottish electorate are to weather the unholy shitstorm that is about to break. She needs time to continue reaching out to sympathetic political ears at home and overseas. This necessary groundwork will prove crucial over the next two years to any possibility of success for any referendum. It will also be essential in protecting our populace from any further legislative harm from an out of control Westminster government seemingly hell bent on massive amounts of self harm.

    The YES movement needs time to get the band back together fully, propose and select those who will give voice to their opinions and aspirations to the world. Our communication has been excellent over the past two years and groups are already beginning to coalesce, form strategy, organize themselves and get preparatory ideas on the go.

    Four and a half months folks and that starting pistol could go off at any time for article 50.

    Tick tock. 🙂

    Oh and as far as voices who we’d like to see representing our aspirations go?

    I reckon folk could do worse than ask the fella above the line if his card is free over the next couple of years. 😎

  9. I see Marks and Spencers are marketing their microwave haggis with a Union Jack and “Best of British” sticker. Guess who didn’t buy it. Maybe the French will.

    • That’s the standard English Modus Operandi, i.e. like Andy Murray, if it’s good (or wins), it’s “British”, otherwise it’s Scottish.

      I notice also that Aldi mentions its Scottish salmon is approved, or certified, or whatever, by the RSPCA. Quite good really, considering the RSPCA doesn’t operate in Scotland.

    • Iain, I have not gone near M&S since IndyRef 1. One of the “no-go” areas because they backed the wrong side.

      Looking forward to IndyRef 2. Can’t be long now. As Paul says, it’s time to leave WM and followers to their fate.

  10. Obviously tatty-howking isn’t the ideal job opportunity for all kids but as GREAT Britain forges ahead into the Golden Dawn of Post-Brexit Empire there will be many more opportunities for the children of the Residuum – such as, chimney-climbing, crossing sweeping, cleaning lint from the thundering looms in the mills, even jar-washing in the Imperial jam manufactories. So, away with your timorous fear of partition from Johnny Foreigner and “Huzzah!” for the splendid opportunities awaiting our green and pleasant land!

  11. Leadsom thinks we’re selling coffee to Brazil, the DIT thinks the French are gagging for innovative jams and marmalades, and apparently young people will willingly spend their spare time picking fruit and vegetables for a pittance. May thinks the EU is open to negotiations before Article 50 goes down, despite the megaphoned refusals from the EU so to do. So far, so barking mad.

    There are tremblings on the communications wires that suggest an imminent civil war within the Tory party. Stock up on popcorn, folks. From now until March it’s going to be quite a show.

  12. “That’s the one that’s going to say entry denied to any British citizen that’s hoping to live, work or study in Europe. I suggest a red circle with a white bar across it surrounded by a border of barbed wire.”

    The satire is going to have to fit a jet rocket pack to its backside if its going to keep up, never mind stay in front, of the reality here. We might well joke about the proposed British passport being an indirect way of stopping our young people from accessing work, study and other opportunities in Europe but so called Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt [correct spelling] has apparently gone further in announcing financial penalties for any future Junior doctors trained using any public expense if they move abroad [not just in Europe] to ply their professional skills and expertise.


    Given the track record of our self appointed feudal masters, supported as they are by a large section of unthinking sycophantic Uriah Heep’s from amongst the general population, it does not take too much imagination to envisage a gradual introduction of measures preventing those regarded as serfs [99%] on these islands from ever being able to find employment etc outside of the rapidly emerging United Kingdom of Ruritania. An increase in the number of years one has to work in the UKoR before being allowed to work abroad here; a widening of the number of ‘reserved occupations’ there and its easy to envisage a time of large sections of the populace being in effective lockdown in terms of widening horizons beyond those permitted by the feudal class.

    The only way of moving the current trajectory away from it disasterous course on these islands is for at least one of the nations to set a good example to the rest to the extent that even the little englander’s will have to take notice. The only viable option open at present is Scottish Independence.

  13. It’s time for the Labour party and Lib Dems to face reality. There is only one way that Scotland can maintain its EU membership. There is only one way in which the democratic will of the Scottish people to remain engaged with Europe can be fulfilled. It’s time for Labour and the Lib Dems to stop playing fantasy politics and to allow those of their members who choose to do so to campaign freely and openly for an independent Scotland. It’s time to grow up. It’s time to take responsibility. Stop posturing, stop claiming that you can deliver the impossible. It’s either a modern outward looking civic Scotland that engages with the rest of the world and works to build social equality and justice at home, or it’s decades of authoritarian Tories taking an axe to your rights and consigning your kids to a future of unskilled labour. That’s your choice. No other options are available.

    Then it will be the decades of authoritarian Tories taking an axe to our rights, for the likes of Dugdale and Rennie, and their foot soldiers. Neil Findlay is already denying that Scotland voted to stay in the EU! Jackie Baillie supporting independence, Murdo Fraser, Tomkins, Carlaw, James Kelly, Tavish Scott? Not a chance, they would prefer we went down with the good ship HMS Rule Britannia.

    • Mutley 79, well observed.
      Kelly, The Bricklayer, WATP Two Jobs Tomkins and The Queen’s Eleven Murdo Fraser, and the dozens of back door List constituency rejects still have 4 and a half years on the gravy train coining in £60 k plus exes.
      They don’t give a damn about the plight of the Scottish people.
      It’s money for old rope to them.
      They are the true enemies of Scotland. We are branded as vandals and thieves by their cackling leader.

      • Agreed it’s not the English who we should watch out for its yer fellow Scots who would stab you , back,front , and bloody sideways for a pat on the head aka Davidson & Fluffy licking any arse thats in front of them its these b/trds we need to watch ,Rabbie Burns had this lots card marked and they haven’t changed .

  14. Hms rule britannia may go down but not scotland as it’s survived flood famine plagues and that’s under westminster not giving a fuck about scotland with independence it will thrive that’s why we must win indy2 as we would of won the first time but those imperial remenents leave nothing to chance

  15. Do any of you have to renew your passport before this mess is sorted? I only have nine months left on mine and am wondering how this will pan out.

    • I just did mine. It arrived a couple of weeks ago valid for 10 years with European Union printed on the cover. Are they going to take it off me?

      My last one expired at the beginning of 2014. I didn’t apply for a new one because I waned to be at the front of the queue for a new Scottish one. I only just got over the disappointment and renewed it. Will I be able to surrender it for a Scottish one in 2019?

        • They might be able to take it if you go through border control to a EU country with it.Hopefully we will all be able to get Scottish passports, otherwise we’ll have to hold our noses and get British ones or stay home.We will probably have to pay again too.

  16. Once we’re out of the EU with the Tories in power it’ll be back to the nineteenth century for the working class. It’s only be a matter of time before they re-introduce the company store.

    • yep seconds out its round 2 this time if we dont win I suggest Emigrating because this place will be turned into an Industrial Desert courtesy of fellow Jocks that despite all the evidence and however many times they are pissed on they will still vote “NO” how the f/k do we waken these people up ? .

  17. What is that noise?

    It is the cry of women, my good lord.

    I have almost forgot the taste of fears;
    The time has been, my senses would have cool’d
    To hear a night-shriek; and my fell of hair
    Would at a dismal treatise rouse and stir
    As life were in’t: I have supp’d full with horrors;
    Direness, familiar to my slaughterous thoughts
    Cannot once start me.

    Wherefore do they cry?

    ‘Tis the exchange rate of the Scots Pund to the Euro Sire.

    I swear I’ll pluck out thine eyes patch, if what thou sayest is true….

    ‘Tis but one of our Scottish Punds to 1.14 Euros Sire – at a Conservative estimate ..

    Prithee Sire there’s more……

    Seems Scotland ’tis to be dragged out of the EU (by those English epicures over there hiding in the trees) against its will.


    Hell kite….

    Some say the earth was feverous and did shake (but this proved to be fault of hordes of Independence supporters), and that despite their best efforts, of the afore-mentioned women, the Sword of Damacles could not be purchased (due to the poor exchanged rate already relayed to your good self) …. hence all the crying…

    Oh yes and there were dire warnings that apparently a thing called ‘Indy Ref 2’ could ruin the economy – even worse that those earlier Conservative estimates, even though IndyRef 2 thing has not happened or even the relevant treaties and articels been invoked….

    Hmm… This poor exchange rate cannot be good, cannot be ill…I shall consider these things and perhaps consult the weird sisters on these matters and report back.

    Fair is foul and foul is fair, hover through the fog and filthy air (‘cos in a post Brexit North Britain minus EU legislation, air quality is not what it used to be).

    • Heard a report on the radio this morning that the £ sterling has now reached a 31 year low against the dollar and that the £ sterling is expected to reach 1:1 parity with the Euro by the end of next year – 15 months away.

      The only difficulty I’m having at present is deciding whether the country is being run by Arthur Daly or Arthur Mullard?

      • Parity with the euro would be good. When the unionists start parroting “You’ll have to use the euro” we can say “So what, it’s worth just the same as the pound”

      • Stands Scotland where it did?….Scotland, at least, is actually being run by the Scottish Government, very well, as returned by democratic means (or ‘divisive’ electorate depending on your interpretation of democracy); indeed so well that our Secretary of State for Scotland (Conservative) insists they should… ‘jolly well get on with it!’ … you couldn’t make it up… not even venturing to offer that e.g. the Conservatives could make a better job of it…..

        I wonder why.

  18. Ruth the mooth comic in residence at the Tory propaganda festival recons the SNP are trying to wind up the English by voting on purely English matters , by f/k shes observant eh ? , what she forgot to mention was the SNP MPs as a matter of course always declined to intervene on English matters until Mr Cameron decided on that little ruse EVEL get it Ruth its f/k you with bells on dear

  19. Many have said that a second loss will be the end for a generation. I don’t think so and I think the gradual move towards indy is not done any good by saying so.
    I actually think the young vote added with a middle class vote realisation that they made the wrong decision and now destined with years of crap will swiftly move behind the indy movement if kept going as years of tory rule look to be our future in a pish uk

  20. Would be nice to get some help from the EU regarding Scotlands right see itself reflected within its broadcast media. I seriously think the BBC’s control over our democracy is nothing short of a democratic scandal of huge proportions in a supposed democracy. Surely it falls way short of European standards where democracy is concerned. Plus the fact (borrowed from torrence) the print media bears no resemblance to our political make up in Scotland.

  21. Regarding the BBC, something I noticed long before the brexit vote was that the BBC all but ignored the EU goings on whilst the US’s politics were promoted to an actual strange degree.
    I really feel they should have been called out on this long before now. Now look where we are. British exceptionalism prevailed whether by design or not. Could the brexit vote have been a mistake in their propaganda purposes as unintended consequences of ramming the union jack down our jocks gobs for years?

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