Down the toilet in 2017

With the Tories being clueless on Brexit and making sitting in a dark basement with a bag over your head seem like an exercise in illumination, you might have thought that Labour would seize the opportunity to provide some clarity and leadership. The Government is in such a state of headless chickenry that it wouldn’t take much. Just stand there Jeremy, say that you’re going to defend the interests of those who voted to Remain as well as those who voted Leave. Say that you’re not going to allow the Tories to use EU citizens as hostages to the political fortunes of Theresa May and her pals. Make it clear that the EU is consistent in saying that freedom of movement of people cannot be separated from the single market, and without the single market many thousands of jobs at at risk.

But that’s not what we got. What we’ve seen this week from Labour has managed to make the Tories seem like they’re decisive and have a clear and definite plan. Nae bloody wonder that they’re way ahead in the UK polls and the prospect of getting rid of them is receding ever futher into the distant future. Jezza, we’re told, has an open mind on freedom of movement. At least we were told that after Labour made an announcement that the party leader was not wedded to the idea of freedom of movement, but then later saying that they might accept it, and later still saying that they didn’t rule out because they’ve got an open mind.

The big problem with open minds is that ideas fall out of the back end just as quickly as they’re shovelled in the front. An open mind is what you get when you peer into the left earhole and see out of the right one. With Labour it’s even worse than that, it’s difficult to distinguish between the party’s open mind and a skull that’s had the top sawn off so that zombies can consume the brain. All the party succeeded in doing was closing the minds of those who were hoping that Labour might stand up for the millions who support freedom of movement and were hoping that the party might clearly distinguish itself from the xenophobes on the right instead of pandering to them. They wanted Jeremy to be Britain’s Bernie Sanders, not an Islington version of Donald Trump.

Things weren’t any clearer with his other big policy announcement which might not have been an announcement, maybe it was just a suggestion, or possibly a hint. Executive pay is an obscenity, company directors are awarding themselves increasingly inflated salaries and perks, many multiples of what the lowest paid workers in their companies take home. Very often those workers are so low paid that they qualify for state benefits, meaning that the country is subsidising low pay so that the very rich can continue to cream off the profit instead of sharing it with those workers who have helped to create it. First Labour was going to introduce legislation to put a cap on top pay, then they weren’t, then they were but they were going to look at ratios instead, then they weren’t again, then they were but only for companies working on government contracts.

It all made Theresa May’s Brexit tautologies seem like a model of clarity. Seven months on from the Brexit vote and we’re all still as clueless as the day after. The only thing we’re certain of is that no one is more clueless than the Conservatives and Labour.

The only thing saving Labour this week is that things across the Atlantic are giving a lie to those of us who feared that 2017 was going to be as shit as 2016. It’s going to be piss instead. A big steaming bucket of it. It’s hard to focus on the pish created by the Labour party and the Tories when Donald Trump has given us the biggest laugh since David Cameron’s piggate. The world really is going down the toilet.

It was revealed that there’s an intelligence services dossier alleging that the Russians have tapes of the Donald supposedly engaging in potty activities with prostitutes. It wasn’t that he was engaging in urinary perviness at all, he just misinterpreted the meaning of live-streaming. No one should be that surprised by an allegation that Trump was engaged in watersports with Russian prostitutes. When he met with Nigel Farage he showed us that he was quite happy to have a shit in his lift.

Donald Trump gave a press conference on Wednesday, which really was live-streamed. He furiously denounced the news outlets that were doing their best to flush his reputation, although he did that himself a long time ago. It’s fake news, he insisted angrily as he refused to take questions from reporters representing news channels that had reported the story. You could say he was really pissed off. Or on. Reports aren’t clear.

And maybe it is fake news, but it’s going to hang around him like the stench of an uncleaned public toilet and he’s only got himself to blame. He’s the one who unleashed the demons of fake news when he espoused the ridiculous story that Obama wasn’t born in the USA and is really a muslim. There’s karma for you. It’s Trump’s previous behaviour, his documented disdain for women and his own history of misogyny and abusive bullying that is responsible for the fact that even if this toilet tale is fake news, so many people find it believable. Urine difficulties of your own creation, Donald.

Far more important than Donald Trump’s alleged sexual peccadilloes is the possibility that the next president of the USA conspired with Moscow against his opponents, a Moscow that has damaging information that it’s using to blackmail him. This is the same president who is refusing to create a clear firewall between the presidency and the Trump business empire, and who’s appointing a cabinet of reactionary billionaire climate change deniers. Obama may have his critics, but in his eight years as president there was not a whiff of sexual or financial scandal, and it certainly wasn’t for a lack of searching on the part of his political enemies. Obama got through eight years without a scandal, Trump can’t even get through a Tuesday.

Lost in the toilet gags, lost in the gagging as we considered the reality that this manchild is about to become the US president, was the news that Boris Johnson’s visit to the Trump toilet, sorry, tower, has resulted in Britain being at the head of the queue for a trade deal with the USA. If you’re one of those people who voted to leave the EU because you didn’t like TTIP, it’s looking highly unlikely that the EU will accept it, but a post-Brexit UK will. There’s more karma for you.

We’ve got clueless Tories and a permaconfused Labour party, and the entire country is heading towards the Brexit cliff without the foggiest idea of what’s going to happen next. Who needs Donald Trump, Britain is going down a toilet of its own.

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0 thoughts on “Down the toilet in 2017

  1. Pingback: Down the toilet in 2017 | speymouth

    • I suppose we’re all running around like headless chickens at this precise moment in history; insofar as making sense goes, anyway. As Bob D sang in Lo and Behold, ‘this is Chickentown’. “Obama got through eight years without a scandal.” Really?

  2. Aye, s’about the long and short of it. 😀

    Must admit I had a bit of a coffee splurt moment when I saw Jezza’s statement on immigration. I couldn’t believe that with an open goal and tap in waiting, he still skyed the ball and killed a passing albatross. That would be one now hanging round his neck.

    As for Trumpmageddon? Dear God! That press conference was a jawdropper of epic proportions. For just the suggestion of a president compromised by the then USSR back in the cold war era, the Americans would have gone into meltdown… and I do mean meltdown.

    What happened to the whole ‘slow news year’ thing? 😮

    • Agreed. However the liars and charlatans in the camp of that mad bitch and warmonger Clinton will not stop promulgating fake news in an attempt to cast Trump in a bad light.

      In the words of Josef Goebbels ““If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State.”

      Trump is far from perfect, but I doubt whether he will lead us into a third world war, as would be the case with the mad bitch.

      • Well said Guga. While I have no time for Trump, anyone who cannot se the parallels between the attempted demonization, doesn’t take much I agree, of the President-elect, and the Westminster establishment’s continued denigration of the Scottish Government, isn’t seeing clearly.
        The M.S.M in the U.K are almost completely compliant in promoting any “story” that attempts to paint the S.N.P in a bad light, despite in most cases it being complete nonsense. But by the time it’s debunked, the damage is done, as most people never read further than the headlines.
        And omissions from the news agenda are equally damning, such as the almost complete blackout of the cases involving two Labour Party members charged with child porn offences.
        Thank goodness Nicola is whiter than white, because goodness knows what the “State” will get up to when she announces the date of Indyref2. If you think the opprobrium is bad right now, just wait.
        It’s not the other political parties I fear come the next Scottish Referendum, it’s the underhand tactics that will be used against us, and anyone who thinks this will be a clean fight is in for a big shock.
        I have experienced at first hand, many years ago, the power of the security services of the British State, I wasn’t their target, and it was astounding how they could dispense with the “normal” rules. Westminster is determined that Scotland will never become an independent country, so prepare yourself for an almighty contest that we will do well to win.

      • Wasn’t that the point of the post? He wouldn’t be denying it if it were true; he’d be bragging about it. Whether that’s the case or not, I don’t know. I’d assumed it was alleged he was the one doing the pissing, not the prostitutes. Ah well, I suppose it takes all sorts.

  3. Whichever way we look at it, the asylum is really being run by absolute nutcases.

    It truly is a topsy turvy world, where lies are truth, bad is good, (except when it comes to SNP baaaaaaad) the tories want to share, and labour are so deluded and confused even more than the lib dems, leaving UKOK at the mercy of the tories for the long haul!

    Is there something in the water, or the air to cause a large portion of the human population to create such a mess? How this will all pan out christ only knows.

    Scotland, keeping your head while all about are losing theirs. It’s like some kind of nightmare, Kaftkaesque.

    It is hard to know what to say about the Trump, (except he is a sexist, bigoted git) but it is going to be a choppy few years ahead and would have been equally so with Clinton. Human rights? Renewables? A more equal society/world? It’s all just fckd up. He might not start world war3 but as far as human rights go, the land of the free won’t know what’s hit it.

  4. It was way past time for the Clintons to go.She acted like it was a coronation.her birthright and her turn and the voters had had enough of her.

  5. The Brexit/heading for a cliff analogy made me instantly think of the final scenes from the final episode of ‘The Young Ones’. We’re just about at the “phew, that was close” line, which will be followed by TM initiating Article 50…

  6. Man has lost touch with his soul/spirit,anyone/anything goes,no ethics/morals we worship at the alter of mammon,we are so up our own a—s we have capitulated we don,t see can,t see the ruination of mother earth and you better believe it will come back to haunt us.The USA is now our god our life and we will get what we deserve.Remember Sodom and Gomorrah it is at our doorstep and beating loudly on it.

  7. Antidote to BBC’s propaganda

    Encourage Scots to listen / watch FMQ’s

    The case for an Independent Scotland made by our FM in the way she chooses without interruption.

    The stupidity of Unionist politicians laid bare for all to see.

  8. Whatever you think about Trump I found a big daft grin widening on my face when I watched that presstitute conference on RT. Whether you like him or not he’s sure kicking some msm ass. The “progressives” seem curiously reluctant to do that. After the CNN prick finally shut up another of them chimes in with “I’m (whatever name it was) from the bbc” to which Trump sarcastically responded *Yeh right, another beauty.”

    Trump’s most definitely not everyone’s cup of tea and no doubt for very good reasons but if Wall St’s favourite warmonger Hillary Clinton had got in then by now we’d probable be at Defcon 1 or 5 or whatever it is.

    WGD – “Obama got through 8 years without a scandal”

    What have you been smoking? The entire 8 years was a fucking scandal, how many civilians have been killed by his drones? And that would be just the start of a long list.

      • When he is caught in a sexual scandal he just brags about it. That’s why the accusations of Russia using it for blackmail is so ludicrous. You think if he laughed of accusations of rape that this would faze him?

    • I’ll start the long list for you: How many children did he deport from the US (with not a whisper of protest from the so-called ‘liberals’)? How many whistleblowers did he jail? How many people are STILL being held in Gitmo with no sign of a trial or release in sight?

  9. I don’t know why the WGD subjects Corbyn, May and Trump to all these scatological insults. After all, against all the odds, they got the top jobbies, sorry, jobs. They’ve every right to be flushed with success – OK, OK, I’ll stop now…

  10. IMO Trump lost the argument when he stated he was a germaphobe and yet he shook hands with Farage…….I rest my case.

  11. Ha Ha Really Excellent Post Paul , as a few have pointed out Shit in a lift and Boris ha ha was brilliant , Eh i guess thats yer trips to the States over now you are off the Donalds Christmas card list and on to the Homeland Security watch list , after many encounters with the brain dead TSA they can stick there loony bin up their arse who needs the hassle , for anyone who hasn’t experienced United States Immigration personnel , Try talking to a brick , at least a brick can in the end be useful .

  12. Flushed with his success, on the job, had it in hand, being reigned in, and so on, twitter excelled itself while, back at home, Jeremy showed that the main use for his head was to keep his lugs apart thus providing support for his hat. I mean, when there are so many open goals waiting to be kicked into why, oh why, open your mouth just to let your internal organs rumble? So, this is the all-new rebooted leader of her majesty’s opposition happily saying three self-contradictory things in the same paragraph. Even Ms Dudgale can only manage two, though one of them will be a repeat of SNPBad.

    FMQs was the usual – Struth Davidson got on her high horse (or cow or tank) to say something SNPBad, the FM raises her eyebrows in exasperation, Deputy Dudgale asks in her whiny voice the same question as Struth Davidson, the FM raises her eyebrows in exasperation again and explains in slow, speaking to idiot terms, what she has just said to the other pantomime dame over there, Patrick Harvey provides some light relief by asking something vaguely useful and Wully What’s his name asks whether he can have a flake with his ice cream.

    The news-where-you-are with their edited highlights says it was SNPBad for the FM though it could have been a repeat of Emerdale with Fraser Hines in a kilt – yes I am that old.

    More gales tonight. Hopefully no idiot HGV driver ignores the closed sign giving fuel to some other idiot asking why the new bridge isn’t open yet. And it is not even half way through January.

  13. Your post gave me the best laugh I have it in a while. I didnt watch Trumps press conference as the very sight of him or hearing one syllable from his mouth has the unfortunate effect that causes me to run for the remote control at break neck speed to change the channel. Your synopsis I’m sure was much entertaining Lets be clear Trump is an arrogant thug so is his mate Putin both of whom could lead us down very dangerous roads.It will be interesting to see what happens to the world in the next 8 years sadly I doubt there will be much good news.I just hope the world is still here at the end of it. I am astounded that people think Clinton would be more dangerous than Trump. She was not a great candidate but he is positively deranged.He is like a sad little schoolboy who cannot accept any criticism. Oh well it will fun seeking out new holiday destinations as I certainly won’t be setting foot in the States while that maniac is in power. I have my own issues re the MSM particularly re the SNP. I do find their adoption of recent internet acronyms quite worrying. By that I mean things like alt right and post truth.The true meaning of these should be made absolutely clear by using real words for them by that I mean fascists and lies. Ach well at least I made it home through the snow

  14. What a crazy world. May and Johnson “attack” Russia ans Putin as if s rerun of 1939 is imminent. Trump says Putin will get on with him and vice versa, while the outgoing US administration sends tanks to Poland to defend Nato borders allegedly against Russian aggression!
    Post Obama, where is Nato likely to be? All mixed up? Die Umwertung aller Wertung!
    A former MI6 agent creates a dossier on evidence incriminating Trump and hands it to the Guardian and McCain, or whatever. Backlash and denial follows!
    What next? Whether true or not, the issues of fake news has got the BBC stirring to set up something to counteract fake news. After London calling, investigating the machinations of fake news during Indyref1 undertaken by the BBC and the msm, who will police the BBC!?
    If Trump skids and hits the buffers during the first years, where will May and Co be, and Farage? His tweets have wrought chaos with certain companies so far. Old and new “alliances” and old and new formations of political parties are causing “change”. The change in the Scottish political scene where yoon parties are now displaced by the SNP and each yoon party from Scotland has one MP each, is a cataclysmic change. The msm ignores the symbolic change and the semiotics of it.

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