A gas giant in a distant galaxy

It’s as predictable as a Unionist on social media playing the victim card, or as Ruth Davidson having the gall to think that as leader of an opposition who came a poor second she’s got the right to dictate to the Scottish government about something they’ve got a mandate to do, while simultaneously complaining that Scotland’s an SNP one party state. Scotland must be the only one party state in the universe in which a party that got a mere 22% of the vote thinks it’s got the right to determine government policy. But we expect these things. This is Scotland after all. This is what happens in a country that’s treated like a region, a nation that’s relegated to the same status as a county council.

As predictable as all these things is that every time the topic of Scottish independence rears its head, the hulking sulk of Gordie Broon hoves into view offering the pretty baubles of federalism like a fairy godmother who’s got herself confused with an ugly sister. There’s been an intervention. Only this time he really, really, means it. Honest to God and pinkie promise. Despite the fact that this is what he was offering way back in 2014 and swore on the life of the Labour party that he personally would sit on the Prime Minister’s doorstep until the offer was fulfulled, and then he pissed off to a lucrative directorship with a financial company instead while his own party along with the Tories and the Lib Dems treated his vow like toilet paper, this time he’s really serious. Honest. No laughing at the back there.

Let’s be honest and give Gordie the benefit of the doubt. It’s not that there’s no chance at all of Broon’s federalism fairy ever appearing and waving her magic sparkly wand, it’s just that the chances of it happening are pretty remote. There’s an airless planet orbiting a gas giant in a distant galaxy thousands of light years away, that sort of remote. It’s not that it doesn’t exist. It’s just that by the time anyone gets there we’ll all be long dead. Although come to think of it an airless planet orbiting a gas giant in a distant galaxy is not an unfair description of a Labour party in Scotland that’s still caught in Gordie’s gravity. Microbes which eke a meagre living under that planet’s icecap have a greater chance of forming the next government and introducing full fat federalism than Labour does.

The reporter on Sky News who’s attending the SNP conference in Aberdeen wasn’t able to bring on any SNP representatives to discuss Gordie’s proposals, because they were still creased over with laughter and unable to appear on camera without dissolving into a fit of hysterics. However he did insist that the federalism fairy was useful for the Unionist campaign, because there are people who think of politics as a Disney cartoon and think that they only need to find a magic wand and a pumpkin in order to get a great Brexit deal for Britain. The tragedy for the United Kingdom is that those people with their Disney cartoon view of reality are in charge of the British government. Although to be fair, they’ve already got the talking rodents.

There is as much chance of Theresa May announcing that she believes there’s a reasonable and strong case for Scottish independence, and actually giving a speech that wasn’t a succession of tautological soundbites as there is of anything that issues from Broon’s gob coming to pass. He had his chance when he was Prime Minister. He had a chance when there was still a Labour party with decent prospects of election. He did nothing except to look after his own selfish interests, and that fact is not unconnected with the fact that Labour in Scotland is now bouncing about in the bottom of the polls looking set to be overtaken by the Greens. Labour is in no condition to deliver anything at all, and Broon bears much of the responsibility for destroying his party’s credibility and election prospects. Whatever Broon says is as much an irrelevance as the man himself. The man couldn’t deliver an envelope even if his hand was guided towards the letter box.

What’s far more relevant than Gordie treading the carpet in a windowless room before an invited audience of press, is the dance that Nicola Sturgeon is leading Theresa May. That’s the real show, and Theresa is tripping over her kitten heels. Her apparent summary rejection of an independence referendum didn’t come from a position of strength, but of weakness. Even the possibility of a referendum severely undermines Theresa’s already weak hand in Brexit negotiations with the EU. She can only attempt to block Scotland from having a vote, but there are other routes to a referendum apart from the Scottish government seeking Westminster’s consent to a Section 30 Order. The more Theresa tries to block, the more she is seen to obstruct a clear mandate given to the SNP by the Scottish electorate in 2015 to hold a referendum if there was a material change in circumstances, the more likely she makes it that when a vote is finally held that she will lose it. Anything that Gordie comes out with is a mere attempt at distraction from the real show. And that’s a show that’s only going to end one way, with a Scottish referendum.

May’s Brexit strategy is in chaos. There is no plan, there is no planning. All there is is the hope that the EU will cave in and give Britain everything that Theresa wants. There’s no sign that they’re going to do so. It’s very much in the interests of the EU to ensure that whatever deal Britain gets from Brexit, it will leave it worse off than remaining a part of the EU. If leaving the EU leads to a country getting a better deal, then there’s no point to the EU at all. The 27 member states are going to do all the can to make sure that Britain’s interests suffer. They’re not doing that out of vindictiveness, but out of political necessity. There’s a very real prospect that the UK might end up with the worst of all possible worlds, and crash out of the EU with no deal at all.

Scotland has an escape plan. Scotland has a way out of this looming catastrophe, and we’re going to take it. Gordie Broon’s federalism fairy wand won’t distract us from the task ahead.

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0 thoughts on “A gas giant in a distant galaxy

  1. Pingback: A gas giant in a distant galaxy | speymouth

  2. He is truly off his head.

    His hubris has gotten to him, big time.

    Who does he think he is? King Lear?

    Maybe folk should dust off The Vow, print it, bung it on placards, and display them wherever and whenever he and his ilk show their misbegotten faces.

    He is an insolent, arrogant, parasitic spiv.

    An opportunistic cretin (he always was even in his university days).

    What is it with these Sons of the Manse – Gove and himself? Are they driven to overcompensate for their upbringing by blatantly consorting with Auld Nick and out-doing him?

    Fcuk me dead, the sheer cheek of him. The bold, brass neck of him is gobsmacking.

    The time is long overdue to kick them all out of their positions of placemen power and onto their sorry buttocks.

  3. The FM announcement on Monday and confirmation of what she said in the Conference now means May can’t negotiate with the EU with the certainty of Scotland’s assets to trade.
    Slab in the meantime are desperate to back May to the hilt.

    • Absolutely. Unionists; their media and BBC, are in denial on that single point. The EU having truly world class negotiators. They have had years of experience. Total number of UK negotiators less than 40.

  4. Having been primed by the way ALL of the uk’s political party’s joined hands in 2014, we know that their promises are dust, simply not to be believed.

    I had always thought, that if we were too poor etc…. and were only kept afloat by the handouts from westminster, then there would have been no ‘better together’ campaign.

    It’s all about the money !

    If you have not read, and seen the Business for Scotland’s writings and video’s, I would recommend them,



    They show that an independent Scotland would be better off out of the ‘union’, and that we actually subsidise england.

    These arguments need to be shown.

  5. Right on the nail Paul.

    Heard the first rumours of a Broontervention yesterday and that was the third time this week a very broad smile appeared on this kisser.

    TBF when watching Gordo punish the boards of his wee stage I made it right up until he said – ‘some would call it near federalism, devolution max or home rule, but I prefer to call it ‘the third way’. At this point the kittens careened oot the livingroom, the youngsters were phoning for an ambulance and the next door neighbour was suggesting the use of a car battery as a means of kick starting the bloke rolling aboot the floor having an uncontrollable fit of mad laughter.

    Between Ms May’s ‘gonnae no dae that’ and Broon being wheeled out of his crypt, you can smell the trepidation emanating from those and such as those. The power they thought they had taken from the people two and a half years ago, not quite looking as secure as they’d imagined. Indeed at a time when the economic future of the entire UK is looking decidedly shakey, the assets Ms May thought she could take to a negotiating table and bargain away, are now looking somewhat diminished.

    Pretty much set the mood up for the First Minister’s keynote speech this afternoon and it was a beaut.

    As most folk know, I’m not big on party politics, but I have to say that I believe our First Minister is the real deal. I believe the Scottish electorate have lucked out big time in the lottery that is national leadership and not for the first time in recent history.

    My criteria for judging a leader is how do they treat the least fortunate in their society? How do they view the visitor to our shores? How do they view difference?

    In many ways its easy to be a leader that tackles the economy, party politics, geo political issues. That’s what you have ministers for. That is why you have a cabinet. It’s delegation. It’s the day job. Part and parcel of party leadership and politics as it is practised. But when you personally vouch your support for the big ethical questions? When you set your own stall out for the world to see on where your morals and ethics lie? That the foundation you’d build governance upon is compassion and tolerance? That takes a courage you don’t often see in politics.

    In a career where every soundbite is microscopically and forensically poured over by everyone, it’s rare to see a party and national leader say ‘Scotland isn’t full up, come join us’. An open invite to make not just a nation, but a home.

    Something this cynic never thought he’d hear from any politician in today’s age.

      • “Give me your tired, your poor,
        Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
        The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
        Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:
        I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”

        Emma Lazarus

    • But when you personally vouch your support for the big ethical questions? When you set your own stall out for the world to see on where your morals and ethics lie? That the foundation you’d build governance upon is compassion and tolerance? That takes a courage you don’t often see in politics.

      That, and in spades, Macart. That was the speech of centuries.

  6. The lies and bullying of Clunker Brown.
    18th Feb 2014
    “In a keynote speech in Fife, Mr Brown also said pensions were the third of Alex Salmond’s “real” problems after Westminster ruled out a formal deal to share the pound and the European Commission president said it would be “difficult, if not impossible” for a separate Scotland to join the EU.
    The Scottish Government’s White Paper on independence promised that workers’ state pension entitlements would be honoured and raised the prospect of having a lower retirement age than the UK.”

    Launching a campaign to “keep our British pensions”, Mr Brown said: “They (the separatists) haven’t answered the basic problem – you have paid into your pension, into the UK Exchequer all your lives, you’ve paid your national insurance, you’ve paid your taxes so that you have a right to a pension.
    “You are expecting, quite rightly, that you will get a British pension – but if there is independence, the British pension stops, the national insurance fund that you’re paying into is broken up.
    ‘And tell them that our patriotic vision is bigger than nationalism; we want Scotland not leaving the UK, but leading the UK, and through leading the UK, leading in the world.’
    Pants on Fire Alert!!!
    Brown lied then and he’s lying now. Not only has he no authority to formulate WM policy on the constitution, he isn’t even an MP. He’s the ex chancer of the Exchequer, the man who robbed private pensions to the tune of £100 billion.
    “Anger over a new “bedroom tax” to hit thousands of poorer pensioners – revealed by The Independent – has forced a partial government climbdown.
    Ministers have backtracked on a controversial plan to swipe at least £300 a year from older people because their homes will be deemed to be “underoccupied”.
    The proposal sparked a furore because the Government had promised to protect the elderly from the bedroom tax, which has slashed housing benefit for social housing tenants with spare rooms.
    Pensioners were faced with being forcing them to move away from family and friends, or to flats that are unsuitable for older people, the charity Age UK and other critics said.

    Pensioners to lose hundreds of pounds a year in ‘new bedroom tax’
    In some cases, the financial pain would be far greater – one housing association identified pensioners in part of the North who are set to lose a staggering £1,700 a year.
    Now the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) has announced that the measure will be shelved for one year and only introduced in April 2019.

    The penny-pinching Work and Pensions want to slash winter fuel allowances for pensioners and scrap their free bus passes and TV licences in a move that would spell misery for millions of people.
    These cruel cuts could mean OAPs having to choose between heating their homes or eating as they lose up to £300 in cold weather payments.
    And the over-75s would also have to fork out £145 for TV licences.”

    I wonder how many of the 70% of pensioner Sunday Post readers who intend to vote No to Self Government realise that Ruth Davidson is after their meagre income now?
    Liars and thieves, the Yoon way.

    There’s a little know Frank Sinantra movie ‘Johnny Concho’. In which Sinatra plays against type, and begins the picture as a right wee baddie.
    His brother is a well known Bad Ass in the territory, and Johnny Concho uses his absent brother’s reputation to bully the townsfolk of Cripple Creek(?) into letting have the run of the town.
    He plays poker, and claims a winning hand and the pot, without turning over his cards, for example. A cowardly all round little turd. A canker on the bum of civic society.
    Of course it all turns sour for him when a stranger drifts into town, beats him at cards, and reveals that he shot and killed Red Concho.
    Sinatra is driven out of town, the sword of Damacles held over the townsfolk no longer a threat.
    The Yoonionists ‘Red Concho’ Theresa May, rode roughshod over those pesky Nats this week, or so they thought.

    Ruth Davidson behaves like this. She thinks that because the Tories are in power in England, she has the authority and muscle to override the Holyrood Government.
    That Wee Ginger Terrier Sturgeon stood up to Treeza, and fatally wounded Westminster’s Red Concho. Davidson lost her back up.
    The townsfolk in North Britain are running them out of town.Davidson, Dugdale, Rennie, Fraser, Tomkins, and Mundell are suddenly feeling very exposed.

    Gordon Brown (I know you read this) you are coming across as a silly old man, in the Sillars Foulkes Robertson mould.
    Give him a bit of paper with ‘PTO’ written on both sides and tell him to follow the instructions on the paper. That’ll keep him busy and out of our hair.

  7. To my mind he is nothing more than a purveyor of recycled mince. The only surprise is that he’s been rolled out so early on, before the campaign has really kicked off. His mince is over 2 years old and well past its sell-by date now. It will be well and truly off by the end of 2018.

    Having been reading your excellent articles for a while I felt moved to post my first comment by Brown’s sheer lack of self-awareness in coming out with this (mince) pie in the sky yet again.

  8. As sure as night follows day Gordon Brown will be rolled out of the Labour barrel at the sniff of any referendum and well we will all have a barrel of fun laughing at his never ending empty and unwanted vows.

    Brown doing what Brown does best ……trying to muddy the waters to confuse or rather trick the people who are not politically engaged/aware into thinking a third option possible even though he has as much influence with Tory policy as I do….that is nada.

    Has he peaked too soon ?……Is this intervention part 1 with subsequent sequels to follow……… where more fantasy can be unleashed….groundhog day does not even cover the predictability of the Brown one’s promises and appearances……..broken and futile promises………….. as well as appearances apparently made to prevent Scots making the right decision……i.e. Scots voting for Independence , and then never having to watch and hear a Brown intervention on behalf of the Labour Unionist party ever again , telling them what’s best for Gordon and Labour but not so much for the Scots don’t you know !!!

    Scotland has moved on while Labour yearns for the past possibly because they know the future does not belong to them as a political party.

    Is Jeremy on board with Brown’s vision ?, which is basically EVEL watered down because loyalties must be maintained with all regions of the UK don’t you know, and where Scotland must be downgraded to just another region thus losing it’s status as a country….know your place and diminish all thoughts of controlling your own destiny as an independent country Scotland….your a new region within a federal UKOK…..as dictated by Brown and ( how many of ?) Labour party.

    There will always be many useful idiots paraded for a political purpose but Brown is now so obsolete as a political force and as such is merely now just an idiot trying to reach other idiots who too, are oblivious to the true realities of a post Brexit UKOK dragging Scotland out of a union it wants to remain in……but for Gordon it’s the wrong union Scots want to be with and that cannot be permitted.

    It would seem Labour are playing political games, tactically trying to steal (and failing) SNP’s thunder today with yet another (yawn) Brown intervention.

    Scots are far safer with the SNP and their vision for Scotland, than listening to and believing a man who ran away and became invisible post Indy 1, when it was clear all that was on offer was a pig in a poke with the non vow , not fully delivered by the way , and with a Tory 2015 GE victory ………………..burst Brown’s over inflated bubble when Labour , once again, failed to win ! Quelle Surprise…..not.

    Who would you trust this time ?

    I know who I trust and believe and it’s not Brown the nobody, most likely some time soon to be, once more, the no where man…..no where to be seen that is.

  9. “TBF when watching Gordo punish the boards of his wee stage I made it right up until he said – ‘some would call it near federalism, devolution max or home rule, but I prefer to call it ‘the third way’. At this point the kittens careened oot the livingroom, the youngsters were phoning for an ambulance and the next door neighbour was suggesting the use of a car battery as a means of kick starting the bloke rolling aboot the floor having an uncontrollable fit of mad laughter.”

    Aye, it was a cracker – and delivered to an empty Adam Smith Centre that had to put up boarding behind the sixth row, presumably to help the acoustics. You’d have thought that with all that’s gone before, someone of his professed intellect would think, maybe, just maybe he’s backed the wrong horse and it’s time to reflect… What’s the definition of insanity again?

  10. In the centre of Dumfries today, on my way to see Queen of the South, as usual. ScotlandinUnion had a table out, with their Referendumb poster, and about half-a-dozen of them, with a man and a bonnie young lassie in logo-bearing tabards. A couple of elderly people signed whatever it was while I was passing.

  11. Aawwwe! Poor old guy. He’s doing his best! When I heard him today my thought was “Oh no! Not again!” I absolve him of cynically trying to deceive, because I think he may genuinely think he is trying to help.

    Well guess what Gordon? Times have changed, big time. You made the vow in 2014, and it has been sh*t on from a great height by every Westminster party leader, torn up and dumped. And on top of that there’s been Brexit. Where you may have swayed many in 2014, I think your time has passed. Ms Cherry said it earlier – Groundhog Day.

    Actually, I’ve just realised he is 3 years younger than I am! Maybe less of the old!

  12. I still wonder if May’s “Strategy” isn’t to demand the impossible, then when it is quite reasonably refused by the EU, she will then shout loudly to (R)UK that this is a typical example of Jonny Foreigner attacking the poor defenceless Brits. After all, when you are trying to keep people’s eyes off the mess you are making and demonise foreigners instead, that is a great way to do it…

    • Yup, agree entirely with your first paragraph, Andy. I believe that the Brexit negotiations, as far as Westminster are concerned, are a smoke screen, designed to end in failure, so that she, May, can then pull up the drawbridge and declare, unilaterally, that the U.K has left the E.U without any agreement whatsoever in place.
      You only have to reference the performance by the Minister for Exiting Europe before a Select Committee at Westminster this week to realise that the tories aren’t interested in meaningful negotiations with the E.U. David Davis either didn’t know, or couldn’t be bothered answering the questions being put to him, and gave the impression that he would rather have been somewhere else. That’s because his party have backed themselves into a corner trying to nullify the threat of U.K.IP, so much so that the loony right wing now hold sway and will be satisfied with nothing less than a hard Brexit.
      They don’t even care about the people of England, never mind the people of the other three countries of the U.K.
      And I see Fox’s idea of “Empire 2” has already suffered a hole below the waterline with the announcement by the Australian Foreign Minister that where previously they had used the U.K as a conduit for their goods and services into the E.U, they will now be going to Ireland.
      How all this is going to effect the timing of the next Scottish Referendum I don’t know, all I know is I can’t wait to get started, and hopefully this time, have a successful campaign.

  13. I wondered how long it would take them to resurrect Broon the Loon to yap on about saving the union and, sure enough, there he was on TV today treading the boards like some ham actor, spouting a load of keich as usual.

    If he had been an old-time music hall act, the audience would have been catcalling, throwing
    orange peel at him and shouting that he should be removed from the stage.

    It reminded me of that sketch with Les Dawson as Cosmo Smallpiece being hooked off the stage!

  14. Brown, rising from the ashes at this stage, smell a fattened rat. Really, the guy is a joke. Just what the yoons in london have up their dirty sleeves who knows, but you can be sure they will be scheming and plotting.

    These yoons have shown nothing but contempt for Scotland, ramped up since our SNP MP’s were democratically elected by the people, to represent Scotland in Westminster.

    An excellent speech by FM, Nicola Sturgeon today. What a great conference, which I watched on the SNP Facebook page, and with some very positive outcomes by way of policy, for the people of Scotland.

    What’s it called, take stock and regroup? We have much to do to counter the attempt by the UKgov, to stem our democracy. No thanks yoons. (I have consciously started calling unionists, yoons, since Sadiq Khan called independence supporters racists, btw).

  15. Caught a bit of an interview on Radio Scotland a couple of days ago, Gary Roberston interviewing a Scot (didn’t catch his name) who has built a senior political career in Germany and is wired in to the EU negotiating position. Seems that over the next 18 months the EU will be negotiating the terms of exit followed by 6 months ratification by the 27 members. After exit, and only then, will the EU consider proposals put to them by the UK for the fabled trade deal. From the EU perspective any deal must be considerably worse for the UK than current arrangements. The Brexiteers are trying to give the impression that a trade deal will be part of exit negotiations. Looks like the Brexiteers will be negotiating their precious trade deal from the bottom of the cliff after having pissed off the 27 during the 18 months of fractious exit negotiations. Mrs May has risen to the giddy heights of PM so she must have learned something about negotiation along the way. Seems to me she is now so out of her depth that she is paralysed with fear, dazzled by the light on the train racing down the tunnel towards her.

  16. “Behold the mighty dinosaur, famous in prehistoric lore,
    not only for his weight and length, but for his intellectual strength!
    As you can see by these remains, the creature had two sets of brains,
    one in his head (the usual place), the other in his spinal base …”

    Sadly, unlike the creature celebrated in the poem, the Gordosaurus by some fluke of devolution appears to have lost the use of the tiny brain in his head, and so is obliged to think with his backside and speak fundamentally, which is to say in the common idiom, “oot o’ his airse”.

    “… defunct ten milllion years at least!”

    Well I suppose at this juncture we needed a comic turn …

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