Theresa May is bossy and controlling. She’s secretive. She’s manipulative. She’s all the worst aspects of management rolled into a designer clown suit with extremely expensive shoes. What she isn’t is competent. Theresa May isn’t competent. You only need to look at her record as Home Secretary to see that. To see that she’s incompetent you only need to listen to her vacuous and content-free repetition of soundbites instead of answering questions. A competent leader can answer questions with direct answers because a competent leader doesn’t need to hide behind a smokescreen of strong and stable buzz phrases.
A competent leader wouldn’t have stood before the Tory party conference in 2011 and claimed that she couldn’t deport a foreign national who had overstayed his visa because he had a cat. But Theresa May did just that. “I’m not making this up,” she said. And that much was true. She didn’t make it up. Someone else had made it up but Theresa didn’t bother to check whether it was true because she’s incomptenent. Theresa May vomited up a Ukip meme because it suited her purpose. Six years later as Prime Minister she’s still vomiting up Ukip memes without bothering to check if they’re true, without caring whether they’re true. They suit her purpose, and her purpose is power.
Theresa May is the Home Secretary who sent grass up your neighbour vans to tour the streets telling undocumented migrants and people who have overstayed their visas to “go home”, channelling the language used by the National Front. Theresa didn’t bother to check whether the style and wording of her mobile billboards had been previously used by yer actual fascists, just like she’s never bothered to check the references to strong and stable government in Mein Kampf. Even Nigel Farage criticised the van campaign as being divisive and in poor taste. That’s like being condemned for homophobia by the Westboro Baptist Church or being told off by the Ku Klux Klan for racism.
Yet many people still apparently believe that Theresa May is a competent Prime Minister, but that’s because a lot of people confuse bossiness with competence. Theresa May is very bossy, and when you’re bossy but don’t allow anyone to question you you can create an aura of competence. With Theresa May you don’t have to look too far before that aura is punctured and her reputation for competence farts its way across the room like a depressurised balloon. Which isn’t a bad description of just about every Tory press conference that’s been held during this election campaign. Theresa May is the queen of cliché who couldn’t even last 30 seconds when a kid glove interviewer like Andrew Marr asked her not to use soundbites. There are genocidal killer robots in sci-fi shows with more tact, sensitivity and empathy.
And this bossy incompetent power hungry opportunist wants to abolish the Human Rights Act and replace it with a so-called British Bill of Rights. Because British Rights are special. British Rights are different. When you’re British you don’t need human rights. We’re told to trust in the apologists for the British Empire to respect our human rights. The apologists of the British Empire who claim that Britain is the only country that doesn’t need to apologise for its 20th century history, a history which comprised one of the greatest assaults on human rights that the world has ever seen, an assault which included the genocide of Native Australians, the mutilation and castration of anti-colonialist campaigners in Kenya, and the forced depopulation of the entire nation of the Chagos Islands. Those are only some of the most egregious examples of what the British establishment has done in the dark, while hiding from the light of international standards of human rights.
The bossy incompetent in Number 10 wants an increased majority so that she can do what ever the hell she pleases in Brexit negotiations with the EU. We’ll get the Brexit deal that Theresa decides is good for Theresa’s grasp on power, and we’re not going to be told beforehand what that deal is, nor have any opportunity to voice disagreement with it after the event. We’re going into these negotiations with a leader who, according to the EU president, seems to be on a different galaxy from the realities of what Brexit entails.
Theresa May is strong in her incompetence, and stable in her pursuit of power. She’s the head of a government of man and woman children who wrote their Brexit plans with a coalition of crayons. We’ve had innovative jam, cunning wheezes scratched out on the back of a comic, tousle haired public schoolboys, and threats to go to war with those dastardly foreigners in Spain. Life in the UK these days is like being trapped inside an Enid Blyton novel with a sociopath.
The promises made in the Tory manifesto have more U-bends than a public lavatory, and just as much crap. Theresa’s reversal of her previous position on free school breakfasts means that’s she’s yer actual cereal U-turner. And yet we’re told that the main selling point of a woman who changes her mind more frequently than RuPaul changes outfits is that she’s strong and stable. This is the election in which reality fled to that far galaxy which Theresa inhabits. When it comes to Tory policy, any auld mince will do. It’s whatever gets Theresa re-elected, there’s no need for it to be true, there’s no need for it to be put into effect. British politics is a post-truth zone, and that’s largely thanks to Theresa May’s Conservatives.
Yet the chances are that this incompetent robotic control freak will be returned to power with an increased majority. In Scotland she hopes her party will pick up seats and votes on the backs of people who don’t want another referendum, who don’t want to think about the kind of Britain that’s on offer, and who refuse to think about the Brexshit that is flying through the air and is about to hit the EU fan. A Tory vote is a vote for infantilisation, a vote to be lied to, a vote to be taken for granted, a vote to replace idealism with opportunism. It’s never been more vital, more important, more crucial, that we do all we can to ensure that their support is minimised. This is the election in which basic human decency, truth, and morality are at stake, this is the election in which Scotland learns that the only way to secure a future in which decency, truth, and morality are respected is with independence.
Audio version of this blog post, courtesy of Sarah Mackie @lumi_1984 https://soundcloud.com/occamshaver/the-incompetent-bossiness-of-theresa-may-28th-may-2017
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