We’re lurching ever closer to the precipice, crashing out of the EU with no deal being struck. Theresa May claims that the ball is now in the EU’s court. The EU looks back and says, “Eh, no. Your problem. You fix it. The ball is in your court.” It’s a whole load of balls as the UK and the EU tell one another, your court, no your court, no your court. This is what all the fine words and grand promises of the Brexiteers have come down to, the batting back and forth of oh no it isn’t, oh yes it is, oh no it isn’t. It’s like the worst panto ever, and I’ve been to one with the Krankies in it.
The UK is desperate for the EU to say that enough has been done in the preliminary negotiations to allow talks to move on to the post-Brexit settlement and a trade deal. You know those people that you see at a nightclub with a pained expression on their faces as they do a wee dance outside the toilet in the hope that they’ll be able to keep it in long enough. They’re less desperate than the UK. Nightclubbers in need of a quick Jackie Baillie only run the risk of peeing themselves and embarrassing themselves in a dark venue which they never need to visit ever again. The UK runs the risk of crapping all over the economy and embarrassing itself in front of the entire world. There’s no close it can pop up and disappear from public view for a short while. The mess is going to be seen and smelled in every British household.
The EU is in no hurry. It’s not the EU which faces the looming deadline of March 2019. The EU has the perfectly reasonable point of view that it was Britain which caused these problems, so it’s up to Britain to come up with a solution to them. Anyway, as former Taoiseach John Bruton pointed out on Monday, it’s not like the EU knows who it’s negotiating with. It’s not really that clear who is in charge in the UK just now. One half of the Tory party wants Theresa May to sack Boris Johnson. The other half of the Tory party wants Theresa May to sack Philip Hammond. The only thing that they can agree on is that none of them much like Theresa May, although they’ll put on one of their many faces and say otherwise in public because none of them want to be standing next to the fan when the Brexshit hits it.
The Tories have as many positions on Brexit as they have faces, and Labour is only managing to look coherent because they’re carefully avoiding saying anything much at all. There is so much uncertainty in British politics just now that the EU has no guarantee that any agreements reached at the moment will be adhered to by whoever it is that’s in power in the UK in a year or two’s time.
John Bruton’s comments came as a report by the Irish government on the Irish border post-Brexit was leaked to the press. To save you reading it, it essentially boils down to “feck feck feck feck”. It describes the UK claim that it is possible for the UK to both leave the Customs Union and have a customs free border with the Irish Republic as “somewhat naive”, using the same patiently exasperated tone of voice that you use to a selfish and very spoiled six year old who tells you that for their birthday they want you to get them a magic flying unicorn that craps chocolate buttons that give you the power of invisibility. Britain is hoping that some combination of wonderful new computer technology will allow it to have its Brexit cake and eat it, but this is a state which has all the technological competence of a drunk man wearing boxing gloves trying to text his girlfriend for a lift home.
Britain wants contradictory things from Brexit, and it’s hell-bent on dumping the responsibility for achieving them on everyone else. There is no magic unicorn, there is only Boorish Johnson and Jacob Rees Mogg, both of whom are easy to confuse with mythological creatures in a poor light. In a good light you can see quite clearly that they’re the stuff of nightmares. Let’s be honest here, this country is an utter utter embarrassment. Johnson is cringe making as foreign secretary, and Rees Mogg is just cringe making, and yet these dangerous fools are being seriously touted as the next Tory leader for no other reason than their apparent ability to quote Latin tags. In nomine hominis parvi. That’s Latin for “in the name of the wee man”.
Scotland’s role in this epic political farce led by a Widow Twanky and a Boris Balloon who’ve got as much chance of making a success of Brexit as finding a goose that lays your actual golden eggs is to look on helplessly from the sidelines. We might have chosen the option in two separate referendums that we were told would keep us in the EU, but we’re not merely leaving anyway, we’re not even being consulted in the process. We’re scarcely being kept informed. Scotland voted explictly for a reinforcement of devolution. Scotland voted explicitly to remain a part of the EU. But we’re being taken out of the EU by a government which is determined to use Brexit as an excuse to undermine and weaken the devolution settlement. Apparently this is democracy and if we complain we’re not respecting the referendums. Well that’s just a whole barrel full of rancid Jackie Baillie that is.
For the independence movement, the priority just now must be to organise ourselves, to get ready. The end game for the UK is approaching, and we need to be prepared for it. The only way out of this mess for Scotland is through independence, we need a broad based non-party and all-party campaign that is making the case for it. Other people got us into this mess, but it’s going to be up to ourselves to get out of it.
The Wee Ginger Dug has got a new domain name, thanks to Indy Poster Boy, Colin Dunn @Zarkwan. http://www.indyposterboy.scot/ You can now access this blog simply by typing www.weegingerdug.scot into the address bar of your browser, the old address continues to function, the new one redirects to the blog. The advantage of the new address is that it’s a lot easier to remember if you want to include a link to the blog in leaflets, posters, or simply to tell a friend about it. Many thanks to Colin.
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