Pure-dross, That-toss, Arse-miss, and Durrty-yin

It wasn’t that long ago when Ruth Davidson’s Scottish Conservatives™ got a fitba team and two subs’ worth of MPs elected to Westminster, much to the creaming elation of Ross Thomson. The news was met by much of the Scottish media as though it was the Rapture and Scotland had now got 13 Tories in British nationalist heaven with all the power of angels. The new saints were going to stick up for Scotland. They were going to be a strong voice for this country and would speak truth unto power. They were there as delegates for the Supreme Ruth herself, and would vote as a bloc in order to defend Scotland’s interests. Halleluiah, the Union had been Savioured at last.

During the election, Ruth’s face and name were first and foremost on election literature. Voters were told that they were voting for Ruth’s men and women, she was the leader and this was her crew. Now to be fair, the SNP has done much the same kind of thing in the past, putting Alicsammin’s name on the ballot, but no one was ever in any doubt that he was the leader of the SNP and that the SNP is a distinct party answerable to no other. Putting Ruth’s name on the ballot and downplaying the Conservative party was a way of trying to break the association in voters’ minds between the Scottish Conservative party and the Conservative party in the rest of the UK. That’s despite the fact that the Scottish Conservative party, rather like its Scottish Labour equivalent, is a branch office of the British organisation. Imagine that eh, Tories dissembling and misrepresenting themselves. The media in Scotland, naturally, enthusiastically went along with it.

Fast forward just a few months, and those MPs for the Ruth Davidson party are standing up for Scotland in the exact same way that Donald Trump stands up for a thorough investigation of Russian meddling in the US election. It’s not just Ruth’s mob, not a single non-SNP MP could be bothered enough to turn up to a meeting of the Commons’ Scottish Affairs Committee in Fife to discuss the vital issue of how immigration would be affected by Brexit and how Scotland’s unique needs are not being addressed. Admittedly Labour’s Coatbridge and Chryston MP Hugh Gaffney has a good excuse, he’s not allowed out without his care assistant in case he says something racist or homophobic. For parties which claim to defend the Union, they’re pretty lax when it comes to defending Scottish interests within it. But then their role isn’t to promote Scotland within the Union, it’s to promote the Union within Scotland, and that means keeping quiet on the numerous occasions that the so-called Union is doing damage to Scottish interests.

But the Conservatives are easily the worst, even though being more hypocritical than the Labour party in Scotland takes quite some doing. Some of Ruth Davidson’s Scottish Conservatives™ aren’t too keen on standing up for what Ruth says she stands for. Inspired by the Brexiteers’ message of freebooting trade deals with countries we’ve already got trade deals with because we’re still in the EU, they felt the need to buckle some swashes. Three Scottish Tory MPs decided that they don’t care what their supposed leaderene has said, they certainly don’t care what the Scottish government’s Brexit impact papers have said, they don’t care what their own government’s Brexit impact papers have said, and they don’t care what harm will be caused to their constituencies. They’re far more keen on becoming the Three McBrexiteers, starring Colin Clark of Gordon as Pure-dross, Stephen Kerr of Stirling as That-toss, and also appearing there’s Alister Jack of Dumfries and Galloway as Arse-miss, because he cannae find it with a map. Then feeling left out, wee Ross Thomson piped up that he wanted to be the fourth McBrexiteer because there’s no one better suited than him for the role of Durrty-yin.

Even though the Brexit impact papers of both the Scottish and British governments have demonstrated that a hard Brexit will wreak considerable damage on the economy, costing thousands of jobs and harming businesses, particularly the agricultural interests which figure so large in the economies of their own constituencies, the four McBrexiteers are hell bent on an ideologically driven hard Brexit. These are the very same people who rail against Scottish independence for the uncertainty it would supposedly cause and the damage it would supposedly do to the economy, yet they’re determined to pursue a form of Brexit that everyone except spittleflecked hard Brexiteers acknowledge is bad for Scotland, bad for the rest of the UK, and bad for businesses and jobs.

Bugger the farmers of Galloway and Gordon, their MPs want to flood the country with chlorinated chicken and beef reared on genetically modified corn. They want to abolish free movement and leave crops rotting in the fields because there’s no one to harvest them. 90% of vets in abattoirs are EU citizens, after a hard Brexit the meat industry will struggle to find anyone to fill those posts. Tory MPs want a bonfire of regulations which means that Scottish produce would no longer be considered fit for export to the EU, its largest market by far, while Scottish producers would be edged out of the domestic market by cheap imports from countries with even lower standards. Oh, and you can wave goodbye to your Common Agricultural Policy subsidies after the five years during which the British government has committed to guaranteeing them.

How’s that standing up for Scotland’s interests working out then? What happened to Ruth Davidson’s Scottish Conservatives™ voting as a bloc to defend Scottish interests? Never mind any of that. The Scottish media has its finger on the pulse. The Scottish media knows how to hold politicians who don’t belong to the SNP to account. We can look forward to Ruth popping up in a radio interview to talk about her favourite Bake Off recipes and doing an impression of the invisible man whenever the topic of Brexit is aired. For all her posing and posturing, Ruth Davidson has no power to ensure that Scottish Tory MPs vote the way she wants them to, and her much vaunted standing up for Scotland is as mythical as a good Brexit. She’s been cut down by her own McBrexiteers.


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0 thoughts on “Pure-dross, That-toss, Arse-miss, and Durrty-yin

  1. Eye watering, isn’t it? When I first saw the letter and the list, I was surprised not to have seen the name of the manic Mr Thomson present. Then, like the proverbial bad wossiname, up he pops for his five minutes of infamy.

    Then there’s Ms Davidson and the other home grown Tories. They sit week in and week out in a parliament they don’t believe in and would rather see abolished. Following process they abhor and voting on legislation they’d rather see handled elsewhere.

    If you were a cynical sod, you’d be forgiven for thinking that would kinda make them hypocrites, liars and somewhat untrustworthy. Not to mention they’d tend to appear more than a bit guilty of misrepresentation, and misappropriation of public funds. Y’know, accepting a wage under false pretence.

    Then there’s the whole ‘sticking up for Scotland’ thing Paul mentioned. What with the failure of Mr Mundell to come to a publicly pledged agreement with Scotgov over the Brexit settlement, the absence of Tories to answer any damn thing on the whole issue and their predilection of voting with the party whip in Commons regardless of the effects on Scotland’s population. Well. Not the best of omens is it?

    As for our four Brexiteers and their support for full English Brexit? That would be a Brexit which, as Paul points out, both UK and Scotgov impact assessments consider to be catastrophic to the UKs economy. Wonder if their constituents are aware of their current intentions? Seein’ as how every Scottish voting ward returned a remain vote and all, you’d think that might upset some folk. To be fair. It really should and who could blame them? Again, if you were a cynical sod, you’d probably be within your rights to assume your most recent referendum mandate had been betrayed. You’d probably also be forgiven for thinking that your interests had been sold doon the Swanee by political opportunists who simply saw another way of getting what THEY wanted without the bother of going to a ballot. If you were a cynical sod.

    Anyway. Life does come at you fast sometimes.

    • ” You’d probably also be forgiven for thinking that your interests had been sold doon the Swanee by political opportunists who simply saw another way of getting what THEY wanted without the bother of going to a ballot. If you were a cynical sod.” Perish the thought, Sam!” 😀

  2. Pingback: Pure-dross, That-toss, Arse-miss, and Durrty-yin | speymouth

  3. “… their role isn’t to promote Scotland within the Union, it’s to promote the Union within Scotland …”
    And there you have it in a nutshell. Spot on as always WGD! 🙂

  4. I actually occasionally wonder what kind of psychotic self-loathing madness goes on in the heads of lunatics like these three Tory freaks. Do they hate being Scottish? Hate being themselves? Hate other Scottish people? Hate pretty much everything, being true nihilists at heart? Then I just think well, the hell with it, yes to all of the above…and start to contemplate something cheerier. like nuclear winter, or the end of the Tory party.

    • graham – I don’t think it’s a question of “self-loathing madness”

      If the Scottish Tory voters are like ordinary decent unionists in NI ( I am not referring to hard line DUP or loyalists and the orange order are another story) they simply see themselves as British.They belong to the UK, which is their country. They watch UK news, read UK newspapers, have served in the Armed forces, the police, the civil service etc, were educated in English universities, support the monarchy, never question that theirs is the best of all possible worlds and that the elected govt knows best.

      And as far as I know these attitudes have persisted for generations in some families, although they might never have achieved any purchase in others. I think there’s no chance of changing their minds

  5. Aye, theirs nothing like a home grown tory for stabbing Scotland in the back, unfortunately Scotland has 13 of the bastards down in Westminster so called representing it. And now 3 of Ruthie’s 31 ,,, “what’s the collective name for 31 wankers” ?, ah got it “turds”, have decided to jump out of her collective toilet and help some English tory MP’s twist the knife in further.

    Yes Ruthie must be so proud of how her Scottish MP’s and MSP’s follow her lead in representing the best interests of Scotland.

    As the “Irn Brew” advert would say, their a right bunch of “CAN’T’s”

    • Sam, I despair. I really do.
      Andrew Neil today getting confirmation from a Dim But Nice Tory Minister whose name I really don’t care to look up, that the Blue Tories will demand and get an extended ‘implementation’ period beyond 2020, because they haven’t bothered getting their shit together in the past 18 months, and that during this extended period EU workers would still be able to come and work in England.(well, England is the only story on ‘Daily Politics’: Ireland and Scotland and Wales warrant nary a mention.)

      These ‘transitional’ EU fruit pickers, nurses, and doctors will have ephemeral status and will be sent packing once Fortress England has got its shit together.

      During implementation, there will be a Single Market and a Customs Union, but WM actually believe that the EU 27 will grant England transitional cherry picking powers, while at the same time Dr Fox will be brokering and signing deals with Japan, Argentina, the US and so on, as Trade Rivals of the self same EU trading bloc.

      These people are mad, and Neil and Kuennsburg sit there and let them spout this drivel live to the masses.

      Labour are in the next bed to their Blue Tory comrades in the political wing of the mental sanatorium that is WM.
      Corbyn and Comrades want Free Trade, and a Customs Union after Brexit, but no freedom of movement, and all that European Law courts nonsense; and they believe that the EU27 will buy it.
      They are stark staring bonkers, the lot of them.

      • Even bigger *SIGH*.


        So just to be clear on Brexit (post Davis idiocy this week). Before the UK gets to talk about final deals. Before it get to talk about access to airspace and portage. Before it gets to talk about future trade agreements. Before it gets to approach the issues of customs, tariffs, movement. The UK has yet to agree a timetable for exit to put before the EU, who will then put it to their members to either ratify or not, as the case may be (depends how pissed off they are with UK gov at the time *shrugs*). The UK has yet to settle constitutional issues with Northern Ireland, Scotland and Spain. The UK has yet to propose a workable position on final access and methods of parity between regulatory bodies which will allow it to do all of the above.

        Oh, and the kicker? Whilst still a member of the EU, the UK cannot start the ball rolling on any trade with nations outside the EU as being still a member state, such an action would compromise the EU’s standing charter and trade regulations. So basically no new trade deals can be brokered until the UK is fully outside the trading block.

        You can see why PM May is seeking an extension. So many circles to square and so little time. TIME being the operative word.

        Quite rightly, of the examples above, Northern Ireland and the threat to the GFA takes centre stage. The thought of hard borders and a possible return to direct Westminster rule, not to mention the economic catastrophe waiting to happen, and the breaking of a hard won peace agreement against the wishes of populations north and south, must be unbearable.

        From Scotland’s point of view, the situation economically is equally stark and the constitutional one no less black and white. HMG broke their word. It’s that simple. The pledge of 2014 was that only by voting no could Scotland guarantee continued membership of the EU. It was a cornerstone of the HMG/Better Together campaign. There was no maybe. There was no caveat of EU referendums. The assurance was pretty straight forward. Mind you, so were the many other assurances given by the anti independence campaign. Not just job security, but more jobs. Guaranteed pension protection. Protection from economic adversity. Protection of Clyde industries. Protection and safe management of our hydrocarbon resources. Protection of and indeed delivery of, faster more powerful and meaningful devolution. That was the vision of the UK going forward presented to the Scottish electorate. Also, that last one? As of the act of repatriation of 111 powers/competences belonging to the Scottish electorate by UK gov? That pretty much demolished the word and intent of the current devolution settlement.

        Basically though, that ‘vision’ is not what has transpired in the past three and a half years. It was a lie then and it IS a lie now. A JCB has been driven through all of those pledges and assurances. An EU referendum, regardless of whether the Tories promised the electorate of the UK or not, should NEVER have been allowed to come to pass. It constitutionally flew in the face of some fairly hefty existing agreements with other members of the UK. A Brexit result was ALWAYS going to end in constitutional crisis and endangerment for the interests of members’ populations. The UK’s constitution is famously known for being made up on the hoof. How and ever, all the fleg wavy Britnattery in the world will not make the fact that those legal settlements and processes exist, or that endangering/breaking them WILL have equally legal outcomes and consequences.

        So at this point, and I don’t know about anyone else, I’m wondering. Just why would anyone accept the word of a government which serially abuses standing agreements with its partners? Why would anyone listen to those who support or advocate these abuses of trust?

        Worth a thought.

        • What Sam says.
          Meanwhile Ruth The Minesweeper, Queen of Hearts will stand up at FMQ and challenge the BAD EssEnnPee about potholes and pissoirs.
          We are on the brink of downright Revolution in al four countries on these Isles.
          I smell their fear.

          This From Project Fear WM Scottish Affairs Committee 2014 chaired by Ian Bayonet ‘Doin’ ‘ Davidson:

          Europe and International Impact Paper

          • The UK delivers on the world stage for all its
          citizens, including those in Scotland, through
          our network of 267 embassies, high
          commissions and consulates and UKTI’s
          offices in over 100 countries.
          • An independent Scottish state’s membership
          of the EU would need the agreement of all 28
          Member States. The Scottish Government’s
          expectations for the timeframe and terms of its
          EU membership are completely
          unprecedented, which is why the President of
          the EU Commission, the Prime Minister of
          Spain, and others, have raised concerns.
          • Scotland benefits from the UK’s status within
          the EU and terms of membership. As part of
          the UK, from 2014-20 Scotland will save
          between £750 and £1470 per household in EU
          contributions, compared to independence.
          The UK delivers for Scotland at an international level
          • Scotland benefits from the UK’s membership of international
          organisations. The UK is one of five permanent members of the UN
          Security Council, and the only state in the world which is a member of the
          EU, NATO, G7, G8, G20 and the Commonwealth.
          • The UK works internationally to promote and protect the economic
          interests of businesses based in Scotland – for example defending
          Scotch whisky against counterfeits and discriminatory trade barriers.
          • As a new state, an independent Scotland would have to apply to be a member
          of the international institutions and organisations it wanted to join.
          Scotland benefits from the UK’s strong voice in Europe
          • The UK exerts its influence in Europe on behalf of Scotland on issues
          that matter to people and businesses in Scotland, such as budget
          contributions, fisheries and agricultural subsidies.
          • Independent legal opinion published by the UK Government indicates
          that, in the event of Scottish independence, the continuing UK would retain
          its EU membership on existing terms. That includes important opt-outs
          allowing the UK to keep out of the Euro and keep control of its borders and
          immigration policy.
          • Scotland would receive €228 million less in structural funds over the
          next seven years if it were an independent state.
          • On CAP, all 13 Member States that have joined since 2004 have had
          their CAP payments phased in over 10 years. An independent Scotland’s
          receipts would be uncertain and would depend on the terms of accession.
          • The impact of losing the UK’s rebate would dwarf any potential gains
          or losses on CAP receipts. An independent Scottish state’s net
          contribution from 2014-20 would be between £750 and £1470 more per
          household than as part of the UK.
          Come on Blair McDougall. Try frightening us with this pile of lies and threats this time.
          There are a dozen Papers running to hundreds of pages full of Jackie Baillie like the above.
          Now is the time to his them with Indyref 2.

          • If only somebody had told them all this would happen…like you, Sam, or Paul, or Bateman, Campbell,or Grouse Beater, or the Scottish Government.
            Why didn’t the BAD EssEnnPee warn Treeza and Ruth the Minesweeper Queen of Hearts? They could have issued a Discussion Document and call it something like ‘Scotland’s Place in Europe’ as early as ,say, 20/12/2016. Why didn’t Mike Russell send a copy to David Davis the Brexit Czar?

            What’s that you say? They did? Davis rejected it curtly on one side of an A4 page?

            Why didn’t that BAD EssEnnPee persist and draw up an Impact Analysis anyway?

            Call it something like ‘Scotland’s Place in Europe: People, Jobs, and Investment’,say, at the turn of the year, 15/01/18, or thereabouts.

            What’s that you say? They did?

            If only we had warned May, Davis, Mundell, and Davidson of the 4 Johnny Furriner red lines, Customs Union, Single Market, Free movement of citizens, and the ECJ, then David and May would have wasted 20 months trying to cherry pick pocket the EU 27.

            We should have been debating all of this since England voted to leave the EU in June 2016.

            How remiss of us.

            The Brexshit has hit the fan,

            WM is s blithering Tree Basket Case.

            130,000 EUI citizens have abandoned England to its fate last year.

            They are beginning to feel the Brexit pain with shortages in Health, Agriculture, Manufacturing, the tourist industry. Car Manufacturers are laying off workers.

            They are certainly ‘taking back control’ in Merrie England, aren’t they?

            The pressure from the real world outside on the vacuum that is England is about to crush England.
            It will implode any day now.
            Now’s the hour, Sam.

  6. “Do they hate being Scottish? Hate being themselves? Hate other Scottish people?”

    Yep, that’s about it, Graham.

    They’re sad, self-loathing little toadies, who are also utterly selfish and heartless.

    Quite amusing to see them stab Ruthie in the back. The MSM will be all over that one.

    Apologise for the sarcasm in advance.

  7. I never liked the Tories, not my sort of people.

    I always gave them credit for looking after their own types.

    Labour on the other hand look after themselves always have.

    I still don’t like the Tories, but my view has shifted they don’t even look after their own because they cant.

    For the first time I can say honestly they are completely incompetent, and I think many of them know it.

    There is too much madness about the UK.

    Independence soon please.

    • Those of a certain age will remember the animated version of the Musketeers which appeared as filler on The Banana Splits. Your dear colonial gov. gen. is that poisonous little brat who tries to pretend he’s a Musketeer, gets quickly out of his depth and has to be rescued every week to his immense public humiliation.

  8. I am beginning to suspect a “scorched earth” element to Scottish Tory policy. The movement of opinion and demographics suggest that Scotland will become independent sooner or later – “ but we’ll make bloody sure you’ve nothing left when it happens”.

    OK, not a real quote but my inference drawn from some of what I hear and read.

      • It looks like scorched earth is clearly the Conservative policy and I reckon it would be Labour’s too if they got into power. The two cheeks of the same arse.

  9. Pingback: “Pure-dross, that-toss, Arse-miss, and Durrty-yin” | Wee Ginger Dug | COMRADE BOYCIE: VIVA THE ANTI-tORY / BIG BROTHER REVOLUTION!

  10. holy bejeezuz, it just keeps getting worse over there in the dis-united kingdom.
    give us a shout when you’re ready to be an independent country, Scotland.
    (that is, hold a referendum, and win it.)
    Great writing, btw Paul,

  11. We’ll, given that it was Shrove Tuesday recently, it comes as no great surprise that the Baker’s Dozen should produce a soufflé as flat as the proverbial.

    Regarding the four Brexiteers, it occurs that the slogan ‘One for all, and all for one.’ can be interpreted in a variety of ways, hinging on what is meant by ‘one’ and what is meant by ‘all’.

    Unfortunately we no longer have Alexander Dumas to pass judgement.

  12. QT this week came from Uttoxeter, Shropshire, with the Debate taking palce amid shiny yellow JCB diggersfrom the heart of theJCB factory.
    The hand picked audience were an all white, Little England, Leave audience.

    The CEO of Siemens UK was on the panel.
    If we didn’t have the escape pod of Scottish Independence then I might be more than a trifle trifle worried.
    A mass hysteria has descended upon England.

    The red faced Brit Nats were still hollering that the EU need ‘us’, that would be Little England, more than we need ‘them’.

    Cries to leave in March 2019, travelthe globe bartering under WTO rules, and taking back English sovereignty, rebounded around the hall, to applause and cheers.

    Many of the audience were JCB employees who will be in direct competition with the massive US Earthmovers Caterpillar Conglomerate when Dr. Fox strikes a deal with the States in Merrie England’s post EU Brave New World.

    JCB will be swallowed up by a giant Caterpillar.

    Seimens is of course a German company, and their UK CEO takes his orders, and given Seimens’ chequered history in Nazi Germany and trail of bribery scandals throughout the world before and since, he will only be ‘obeying orders’ when he sacrifices the rights and jobs of English,sorry ‘British’ workers, if directed to by the parent company in the Fatherland.

    The audience were remarkably arrogant and belligerent, and seemed clueless as to the massive Clusterfuck which is about to engulf them

    Tuition Fees in England got a mention, and not surprisingly this white right audience from Shropshire treated the principle of charging tuition fees as the Natural Order of things, and of course Scotland’s FE funding didn’t get a mention.
    Scotland doesn’t exist in Shropshire.

    An all white audience in the English Midlands….aye, The Shape of Things To Come.

    • I wonder if the proud Scots amongst us still feel a sense of togetherness after viewing this particular episode , Over the years I have come to the conclusion Scots are never thought of by folk south of the border , They are that used to the , UK – Britain – etc being just another term for England that it never crosses their minds , just like this program we are not on the radar , Dimbles when hosting a episode from Scotland always reminds the panel it’s a nationally broadcast program so not to be parochial , he would do well to remember this when he hosts a program that only features England which surprise surprise is the majority of the time .
      Just as was highlighted recently ,Northern Ireland would be a price to pay for the Brexit a lot of them desire , Scotland on the other hand is a bit of a problem , because ever since I can remember we have been portrayed as the poor relation always needing support , I guess it wouldn’t take to much to get the public down there to believe we like the Irish we are sponging off them ,
      That’s a real dilemma for a English government who has hidden the truth for all these years , they know that this is far from the truth , but how do they undo all the years of lying , and the proud Scots are in for a big surprise if this ever gets out .

      • Robert, Scotland is a country of vast wealth and natural resources, and a people renowned the world over for our knowledge, ingenuity, and endeavour.
        England will not give up this rich colony without a fight.
        Even tot he point of military occupation. Mull on that one for a while.
        The ProudSDcotButs Anglo Nats are helping England steal our wealth. It’s as simple as that.

  13. Well to bad Paul no longer uses twitter because I found a quote from Mundell on there and he said this at the commons select committee and I qoute to reveal the truth about the brexit impact assessments on the scottish economy would risk a second independence refurendum that’s more like the real reason they don’t want us to read it.

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