The dancing walrus and Jackson Carlaw’s surgically removed sense of shame

Last night STV broadcast the 2019 edition of the Let’s All Shout Loudly Over the Top of One Another About Devolved Issues in a Westminster General Election Show. It featured three British nationalists who’re not nationalists at all because they’re British, and Nicola Sturgeon. It was perfectly balanced on Scotland’s constitutional issue in the three to one against way that such discussions always are in the media of a country which is split 50-50 on the topic of independence. For some reason best known to the STV management team, the Greens weren’t invited.  Perhaps because that would have made it three to two for the opponents of independence, and that would have been unfair.  After all, the one was Nicola Sturgeon, and she can generally wipe the floor with the rest of them unassisted.  And so it came to pass.

Nicola Sturgeon scored an early goal by saying, “Gentlemen, the difference between me and all of you, is that none of you think the people of Scotland should decide their constitutional future.” But the gentlemen were more like a rabble, a wee gang of bullies taking on the girly swot and having their arses handed to them.

As expected, it wasn’t very edifying. Wullie Rennie spent most of the debate saying that he couldn’t believe that he was being asked these questions. He did know that he was coming to a debate didn’t he? That’s the thing about Wullie Rennie, in his case that’s a reasonable question to ask and isn’t just rhetorical. He only had two settings, expressing disbelief that he was being asked a question, and demanding to know whether the other party leaders were embarrassed. Although no one is ever going to be as embarrassing as Jo Swinson’s performance in the last few UK debates. She wasn’t there this evening, staying at home in the leafy Home Counties to spend more time with her red face. After this evening’s performance she’s about to be joined by Wullie.

Wullie did manage to find time to read out some of Boris Johnson’s comments and ask Jackson Carlaw if he was embarrassed by them. This time Wullie was actually asking about something that any decent person with a functioning sense of morality should have been embarrassed by. Unfortunately he was asking a Tory politician.

Boris Johnson has published comments like comparing muslim women to bank robbers and letterboxes, racist language, the things he’s said about single mothers. These are comments which have appeared in print in publications which are proof-read and edited. They’re not off the cuff remarks made in the pub when you’re pissed. These comments are deliberate and considered. And there’s a lot to be embarrassed by. Jackson replied that a lot of politicians have said embarrassing things, although I’m struggling to think of another party leader who has referred to African children as “piccanninies” or who has called gay men “bum boys”. Maybe one of the leaders of one of those crazy and nastily unpleasant parties on the extreme right. Oh wait. There’s Jackson’s problem right there. But Jackson wasn’t embarrassed, because he’s a Tory. The essential qualification for becoming a Conservative politician is to have an operation, in a private hospital of course, to get your sense of shame surgically removed.

God, watching Rupert Landlubber in action is like watching a walrus go ballet dancing. Jackson Carlaw asked him why it was that former Labour MP Tom Harris is now voting Conservative. Reinhard was too polite, or more likely to slow on his feet, to give him the correct answer, which is “because Tom Harris is a bit of an arse.” Although he did point out that the leave supporting Tom is a columnist for the Telegraph. For Tom to say that he’s backing Jeremy Corbyn would do as much for his job prospects as it would be for Arlene Foster to announce that she was standing for election as the President of the Irish Republic.  He was totally blindsided when Nicola Sturgeon asked him if he was the only CND member who supported spending £200 billion on Trident.  That was a nuclear level burn there.

Dunno what Colin MacKay is doing here. He’d be as well nipping out for a cuppa and a wee sit down for all the effect he’s having in keeping this discussion on track. He’s making no attempts at all to control the shouty men. Three men yelling over the top of a woman is really not a good look guys. And the woman is the only one there who is making a serious attempt to answer the questions put to her instead of indulging in grandstanding and cheap point scoring.

Then we had the edifying moment when Jackson Carlaw demanded that Nicola Sturgeon explain what her priorities were when it came to sorting out the issues with the NHS in Scotland. In the face of constant interruptions she tried to explain that the job of First Minister means tackling several issues simultaneously, and did point out that the experience of being First Minister was one that Jackson was unlikely to ever get. Has the man never heard of multitasking? I’m guessing not. Then as she’s trying to explain what she’s proposing to do and is actually doing about the issues with hospitals Jackson said that her priority after the election is to demand a Section 30 order and then tried to get her to stop talking about the NHS so that he could accuse her again of being obsessed with independence. Seems that the person most obsessed with independence is Jackson. He’d much rather talk about independence in case people ask him about his leader’s racism and homophobia, or about the disaster of the Brexit that he wants to foist on Scotland, or his arrogant contempt for the concept of Scottish democracy.

In the closing statements Jackson Carlaw growls at the camera and exhorts the voters to Scotland to “tell her again” with more than a hint of aggressive gammonry. That doesn’t come across as misogynistic at all Jackson. Not even slightly. Sure thing Jackson, we’ll be so much better with your party’s austerity, child poverty, dark money, xenophobia and British empire nostalgia in the sunny uplands of a post-Brexit Britain as we trudge our way to the food banks. Nicola Sturgeon isn’t listening you say? You represent a party which was almost wiped out in 2015, which got hammered in 2016, whose much vaunted recovery in 2017 saw it take just 13 of Scotland’s 56 Westminster seats, and which slumped to a pathetic 11.6% of the vote in the Euro election of 2019. At every election for decades, Scotland has rejected the Conservatives. Tell me again who’s not listening.

Nicola Sturgeon had it perfectly right in her summing up. Scotland can’t afford a Johnson premiership with Trump pulling his strings. More than that Scotland can’t afford a hard Brexit. Scotland can’t afford to have its democracy traduced and trashed.

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50 thoughts on “The dancing walrus and Jackson Carlaw’s surgically removed sense of shame

  1. 👍👍
    Thanks for the synopsis of Holyrood Part Deux, think I’ll give this release a miss,
    Sorry you had to put yourself through that, aren’t fake foam bricks wonderful. Have no need of replacing a TV right now either…

  2. Excellent performance from Nicola, in the face of a 3 to 1 unionist panel. Just a pity she did not get to ask over the Union din, where are the Greens, who have more MSPs than the Dums!

    • What’s going on here? Why was the Green Party, Patrick Harvie, excluded from this debate, especially when Wee Wullie Winkie, total nonenity, was allowed to come out with his usual tommyrot?

      What really scunners me about all of this is that MANY Scots have no idea that these three parties, Labour, Libdem and Tories, are being run from London: Controlled by Johnston, Corbyn and Swinson. They don’t know what’s reserved or devolved or even what the terms reserved and devolved means. They have no idea how much control, even percentage wise, that Westminster has over Scottish affairs. They don’t understand how the Barnett formula works to the point that many Scots actually think that we AR too wee, poor and bl**dy stupid and totally reliant on English money. Time for us to get back to the basics and get the message out there. And whilst I’m on that subject what has happened to the SIC crew? I thought that they were going to do something about this …. you know get the message out there.

      I’ve just watched “The Campaign” on BBC 1 with Martin Geissler et al. At one point they were displaying some generally benign non-factual tweets from “nobodies” (nobody that I’d heard of) about the debate tonight on a screen and then they said (surprise, surprise), “oh Jackson Carlaw has also tweeted about the debate” and showed quite a lengthy tweet from him about the tax situation in Scotland. His totally skewed version of it that is and then left it on the screen for quite some time for all to see. I don’t know if I’m becoming paranoid but it looked to me as though this had been co-ordinated. I mean to say that was some strange tweet for Carcrash to make at that point in time or had he made a number of tweets and the BBC decided to show that one? Additionally had Leonard, Rennie and Nicola Sturgeon not tweeted about the debate at all? Anyway, whatever the case I don’t know if you can see it from where you are, but there’s steam coming out of my ears once AGAIN.

  3. At every election for many many generations the electorate of Scotland have rejected the Tories. They don’t seem to listen. We said pissoff on many occassions and we meant it.

  4. I stopped watching this stuff ages ago. Its pointless. Sturgeon wipes the floor with them. Of course she did. They’re the political non entities. They can’t say or do anything that would contradict the real party leaders of the Unionist parties in Scotland. Johnson, Corbyn and Swinson. Sounds like a sclerotic legal firm. And in a way they are. When Bams for Union decided to sell Scotland as a scrounger with no language or History, they painted themselves into a corner. They can’t do anything but take a shit on Scotland while demanding that Westminster gets to take Scotland up a side street and steal its purse.

    Honestly the idea of these little shits demanding to know how Sturgeon is going to fix what their fucking party bosses broke, is like being trolled by a burglar, who wants to know when you are going to replace the stuff he stole…so he can steal it again.

    Being growled at by the likes of Gammon Carlaw is like being gummed by a toothless zombie. Disconcerting at first, but ultimately pointless. He’s Johnson’s man in Scotland. Here was me thinking Operation Arse was a Scots tory plan to block Johnson from becoming leader. Now we see it was a plan to have Carlaw stick his head so far up Johnson’s arse he could kiss his dear leaders tonsils. Wee Wullie and Ripcord Leotard want us to be ruled over by the likes of that? Well hell…I didn’t know you could stack shit that high.

    Thanks for being here WGD and giving me a place to vent.

      • And it’s very much appreciated, thank you. I did watch however, wanted to see how the odious rubber-necked, red faced jackshit was going to perform. Oh my gawd in hell…it was so bloody infuriating. Three vile lecherous hamacting creatures masquerading as men (apologies to all the decent menfolk) who could seriously do with their body parts being sliced, diced and rammed down their throats to shut them up. Rude, ignorant, arrogant turds.

    • That’s what really gets to me David. Westminster is working away constantly trying to destroy Scotland (and the SNP) to the point that many so-called devolved issues are “partial” or reliant on how much they spend in England (e.g the SNHS) to ensure that they can screw up everything positive that the SNP try to do. All so convoluted of course that it’s too lengthy or difficult to explain, especially when they shout over people like Nicola Sturgeon and / or edit what she has to say.

      The point that you make about “the little sh*ts demanding that Nicola Sturgeon fixes what their party bosses broke” REALLY resonates with me and no doubt many others too. It reminds me of one issue in particular that really got to me (on a personal and professional level) and that was when the SNP was trying to do something about the Corroboration law. The Unionist cabal were determined to scupper their attempts to repeal the act and were successful in doing so. Then they demanded to know what Nicola Sturgeon was going to do about rising levels of child sexual abuse in Scotland. Point scoring on the back of kids suffering God knows what. That’s what we’re up against here. Effing low life’s that should be taken out and ****

      And well, they’ll be taken out right enough when we get our Independence and don’t they know it. “Career” over and out.

  5. Scotland used to have some unionist politicians whom I had respect for.
    But now,they are all just a bunch of one trick ponies.
    No to independence.
    Scottish voters will eventually realise that these people are not there to further Scotland’s interests but simply to obstruct self determination.
    How crazy is that?

  6. ”All Our Yesterdays” was a popular TV show many moons ago , and this debate struck me as just such an event . Yesterday’s men ( sic ) – Carlot , Runny and Lanyard displaying the type of boorish behaviour that should have died out with Beehive hairstyles and Drainpipe trousers .

    This was like a re-run of the Bitter Together debates that were foisted on us in the Indy referendum – finely balanced by our broadcasters – 3 – 1 in favour of the Union , and still they couldn’t beat one wee lassie !

    Was this the best that the Unionist cause could could scrape together for a national debate ? Ye gads ! If I were a Unionist voter I would be black-affronted at the paucity of talent that masquerades as Unionist Party Leaders ( sic ) in Scotland .
    So , is this is the thin red line that is meant to hold fast against the surging tide of Scottish nationalism and keep us a colony of the UK ? Well , better pack your union jack knickers Lizzie ‘coz this shower are so inept that they couldn’t get f*cked in an Edinburgh brothel with a fistful of fivers and a doctor’s line !

  7. I intended to tap into BBC’s ‘Campaign’ Apendix which featured Rennie Carlaw and Leonard as the Main Players in this UKGE, then spotted Alex Massie sitting on their sofa, and fortunately, was quick witted enough to switch off before this self important Brit Nat opened his mouth.
    Well done, Paul.
    There must be a PTSD therapist who will provide you with cut price sessions somewhere.

  8. Colin McKay began by saying the debate was between 4 Scottish Party Leaders. Wrong…..the only party leader was Nicola Sturgeon – the other 3 are BritNat branch managers of Westminster controlled parties. When the debate began I felt he forgot what he was supposed to be doing and joined in as the 4th interrogator of our First Minister. 4 against one was not a good look and someone must have whispered in his ear to remind him why he was there because he did eventually butt out! Carlaw having the brass neck to criticise Nicola for campaigning in a General Election when she is the only one of them fighting for us (their constituents) to have a voice – which is what we elected her to do! The BritNat parties in Scotland trying so hard to not mention Brexit and concentrating on “no Indy Ref ever” as their only policy.

    • “4 Scottish party leaders.”

      Spot on Diane. The very point that I was trying to make earlier. They might be Scottish, some of them, but they are not leaders of Scottish political parties when they have to call their London based bosses shots, rely on campaign money from London and employ staff selected by the same English bosses (etc, etc). It’s akin to a wee Scottish shop, where the galoots are stacking shelves, that has its main office in London and the ignoramuses can’t see it. We don’t forget either that the idiots had to phone / email their leaders in London to take advice when they were involved in the Smith Commission process. I used to think that Johann Lamont was a clown however she at least had the guts and ken to tell the truth. The rest being totally deluded and / or out and out liars.


      Anyone feeling sorry for voters in England? Unlike us we have the get out of jail card.

      • 88%? Great skintybroko!!! Thanks for that. I read elsewhere the wee Willie Wonka got 1%, lol. That means that Carlaw and Leonard must have managed 11% between them. Hopefully that’ll take the smirks off of their faces.

  9. I think the 4 against one format induced Nicola to show her stilettos and I am not talking about her shoes.

    Votes gained methinks.

  10. The failure of TV debates and interviews to provide appropriate dialogue around the massive and complex issues facing our society, along with the many publicised incidents of trivialisation of local hustings, means that the basic structure of democracy needs to be re-thought. This should be a major priority for the Scottish Government, because it is something that is achievable within their budgetary constraints. It also needs to become a major focus in the construction of the constitution for a new Scotland.

  11. A rinse and repeat of their usual behaviour then? Bit like yer later spaghetti westerns, only with less ambition and a crap soundtrack. The arrogant, the ignorant and the clueless.

    Weary of their endless drone at this point. Not entirely sure they’ve caught up to the idea that their torrent of literature is, not only insulting and irritating in the extreme, but finding an instant home in the nearest waste bin. It’s serving only to remind people what they bought into over the past five years on EXACTLY the same fibbery.

    The shit show that we’re living in right now, is because people bought into their guff and lent them their vote at constitutional level. Their tune hasn’t changed a jot in the intervening years, but our lot in life has… under their system of government and within their preciousss, preciousss.

    They had their shot at making their ‘vision’ work. Might be it’s your turn, (the voting public), to show them how it should be done.

  12. As for their claim that indyref1 was promised as a once in a lifetime event,they also promised that we would only suffer divisive General Elections once every 5 years.
    Not only promised but passed a law in Westminster to that effect.
    I believe,my memory isn’t what it used to be,that we have had 3 in the space of the last 5 years initiated by the Tory party.
    Should another hung parliament come about,we can expect divisive plebiscites on an annual basis.
    Lifetimes are becoming much shorter under Tory rule

  13. The only good thing about the waste of trees in the printed waste that’s coming through my letterbox is that they’re using up the DARK money. Hopefully they will not get any more from doris when he no longer needs them.
    Carless jackass will be consigned to the same dump as the tory pamphlets in due course.
    The STV did themselves no favours by having NO control over their guests, having a time constraint between the adverts isn’t a good format. When 2 or 3 people talk over each other the output is BABEL, nobody actually hears much.
    This would have been a waste of my time, I gave up a few minutes into the programme after rennie started with his swan song, the increase in mental health issues, wullie you are adding to the problem, your job in the parliament is to help solve problems not whine on like the one trick pony.
    Why do their parties let them become the spokespersons?
    I’ve been to a couple of these party nights and left with the feeling that I’d just met the small group of people who knew that their style of debate would eventually give them a position on the committee as Normal people couldn’t be arsed.
    What we have is the bar room lawyer types who argue black is white and back again to black without any embarrassment as the people put forward as the parties candidates.
    The list MSPs from all the parties are from the same pool, if only Darwin’s theory actually helped us in removing these people but they are self seeded, have a look at the muddels from the borders as witness.
    Maybe we should just use the system from Ernie or the Jury selection methods,650 people chosen at random for a short period as a trial.
    Don’t think it would be any worse than the current system.
    Thanks Paul and the rest of you for saving me from this so called debate it sounds like the discussions I hear between the local cats in the evening.

    • Dave, there is a view that the office managers of the Brit Nat Branch Offices were selected by their three London Unionist Imperialist Handlers precisely because they were bone headed buffoons who could be relied upon to do exactly what they did last night; reduce any political debate in Scotland to a shouting match, and in collaboration with an obliging TV channel and a risible ‘chair# and debate format attack the only ‘leader’ of a political party in the room, Nicola Sturgeon, and drown out the SNP Pro Independence arguments like a boozy mob of rugby club riff raff.

      This morning on the 90 seconds News Where You Are slotted in to 3 1/4 hours of English News, Catriona Shearer opened by reporting that ‘the leaders of the four Scottish parties’…..

      Well, no.

      Obviously the hacks and broadcasters have looked out the handouts from the two day NLP workshop they attended. Look up ‘framing’, and reframing’.

      If Catriona is forced to, like all TV presenters and the sad little bunch of Dead Tree Scroll hacks, to describe Rennie, Leonard, and Jackson, pal of gay bashing womanising racist liars, as ‘leaders’, which they are decidedly not, then the NLP theory is that this utter nonsense of a falsehood will become embedded in our collective consciousness, then the ‘Branch Office Managers’ so viciously described by Johann Lamont as she fell on her sword, will eventually be ‘reframed’, through mass brainwashing and this hapless trio of puppets will be ‘reframed’as ‘Scottish Leaders’.

      These men demonstrated admirably last night that they are not fit for office, never mind be in control of Scotland’s Health, Law and Order, Economy, safety and well being of the People of Scotland.
      A failed business man, an ex bus driver, and a back office shop steward are not ‘leaders’. They do as they are told by their London Masters.

      Their only function is to shout down any notion of democracy being the right of the people of Scotland.
      Yet last night, and again today, this mob of money grubbing carpetbaggers are treated like serious servants of the electorate, which of course, they certainly are not.

      • Aye Jack,
        These are not our servants, we appear to be serving.
        Big troubles are coming our way If you read the doris’ manifesto , he’s going to rewrite the law to mean he’s always lawful.
        Adolf Hitler promised the German people lots of things in 1934/5 All they needed to do was vote for the ENABLING ACT.
        Even at the Nurenburg trials, Herman said it was easy to take power, just tell the people they’re being shafted by someone else, other than you, and get it into their heads as fact, easy.
        As you’ve said, EBC shortbread is a willing participant in spreading this falsehood AND we pay them their tokens by a tax.
        I wish I had stuck into the reading at school as It appears a goodly number of spending tokens are available for good readers at the EBC, no thought processes required.
        They hung the PROPAGANDA readers like LORD HAW HAW, for doing the reading so maybe it’s a job with short prospects.
        Wonder what happened to Jake the old news hawker from ebc, replaced by a cheaper younger version perhaps.

  14. I didn’t watch the pretend debate, I decorated my Christmas tree instead happy in the knowledge that I could click on here and get the best summing up. Thanks Paul.

  15. Off Topic – slightly : Just received Tory Party leaflet for Paisley and Renfrewshire South .

    As others have reported from their experience –
    not a mention of any General Election topic ,
    no mention of Tory Party policies ,
    no mention of Tory Party Leader ,
    no mention of Brexit !

    Three nods to Nicola Sturgeon and two to the SNP – only ONE to the Tory Party !

  16. I can’t wait for Supermom Davidson, still trousering £1200 a week plus expenses, while being paid a ‘staggering amount’ by STV/ITV to be a political commentator and election analyst, to announce the result of the postal vote, any day soon now.

    • Jack if you were to cross her Palm with enough Dosh she could probably give you a copy of the results , or with a little more filthy lucre the result you want .Thats how trustworthy this Lying Madam really is .

  17. Like a lot of others I send my appreciation to Paul for enduring a uncomfortable experience so we don’t have to .

    I have followed many Elections over the years listened to and watched some spectacular comments from some very dubious individuals masquerading as people ,recently even I have been shocked at the behaviour of the Tory party

    I don’t think I have ever experienced the antics and in your face downright lies by the latest version of the nasty party , this lot of Con Artists have taken deception and shifty behaviour to a new level ,

    I can’t remember seeing or hearing one of them and thought well that’s a different point of view I don’t agree with it but it’s their view ,

    Every single time recently I see or hear a Tory mouthpiece I think that’s simply not true ,this clown is telling lies and isn’t even embarrassed about it , you can’t embarrass these liars it’s a automatic reaction they are programmed with .

  18. Here we go again: BBC Scotland were pushing tactical voting hard this morning – now which party is vulnerable to tactical voting? They are wasting their time, however – the tories have already converveted the British nationalists in Scotland into one-issue voters (anyone but SNP). Still, it does show just how desperate the establishment has become – they must be nervous of another yellow tsunani forming. 🙂

  19. Thanks for another pre-Christmas cracker, Paul.

    Given the season, the appearance of three ugly unionist sisters ganging up while our own Cinderella has a ball shouldn’t have been a surprise, but McKay fluffing as Buttons was.

    My expectations of him keeping good order were unfounded, sadly, as I like his approach when interviewing.

    There were some zingers though. Carlaw bemoaning high levels of unemployment in, “the seventies and beyond” and, “not wanting to live through those times again” as an argument for voting Tory beggars belief.

    Rennie’s comically theatrical explanation of a downward graph which should more accurately be applied to his own party’s electoral chances rather than Nicola’s record in government was comedy gold. I may give Swinson’s encounter with Neil a miss tonight. I hate blood sports.

    As for poor Leonard, there were moments when Nicola looked at him with such pity I fully expected her to give him a comforting cuddle. To reply to Rennie’s excuse of passing such hideous policies in coalition as being a result of cleaning up Labour’s mess, and say, “So you cleaned up the mess on the backs of the poor”, had me slapping my forehead.

    Any pity of course is undeserved. His closing, “When Labour wins, Scotland wins”, begs the question, when, where, how?

    A week to go, made bearable by sites such as this.

    I hope Santa is good to you and the dug, you both deserve something special, wrapped in yellow of course.

    • There is absolutely no truth in the rumour that if the Lib Dems do not sweep to power in a landslide, and Jaw Swansong is not anointed PM of England And Its Colonies, that the Ashoka Bearsden has baked a Naan Bread Hat for her to eat, just wot like Paddy Pantsdown did.
      If true, I recommend Rogan Josh as a dip.

  20. The one thing you never ever hear any Britnats – whether politicians or media or just ordinary Britnats – say is ” I believe Scotland is better run by the English in London/Westminster. That’s what they think but they know it is nonsense and are too scared to actually say it to the people of Scotland.

    Vote SNP vote Yes and run our own country Scotland for the benefit of those who live here instead of for the benefit of Westminster/London and the south East of England.

  21. Had to search, and eventually found, that Old Hang On A Minute Brewer has been relegated to BBC Jockland for his mid week bout of SNP Baddery.
    So I joined the other five viewers watching. I lasted two or three minutes.

    We got an update on what ‘the Scottish leaders’ are doing today; the Scottish leaders being Rennie, Leonard and Carlaw.

    Look into my eyes, you are sleeeeepy, sleeeeepy.
    Richard, Jackson, and Willie are your leaders, leaders, leaders….

    No sign of Jack, Laird or Swinson.

    The Scotia Branch of the Brit Establishment and their obliging Fourth Estate Fifth Column have decided.

    You Jocks will get served up what we choose, not the truth.

    I noted a wee advert for the Hon Sarah Smith’s ‘Scottish’ Election debate.

    It amazes me that they all insist on being ‘Scottish’ as opposed to ‘British’ or ‘UK-ish’ when it suits them, and it suits them to gang up 4 to 1 in bashing the SNP ‘insurgents’.

    But the Brit Nats ‘country’ is the UK surely?

    So what is all this Scottish Labour, Scottish Lib Dem and Scottish Conservative ‘separatist’ nonsense?

    I switched off when Katrine Bussey PA Unionist hack opened her mouth.

    Just To Be Clear Brewer relegated to BBC Jockland on a Wednesday afternoon. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
    And at 6.30 tonight, the camera crews and Glenn Campbell will have returned from the wilds with yet more footage and pithy quotes about No to Independence of Rennie, Carlaw and Leonard, the Non Leaders of their Brit parties.

  22. Off topic:
    Just to let people know – the Indy stamps are now back in stock at the Yes East Ayrshire HQ in Kilmarnock.

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