Shock horror as Nicola Sturgeon makes a phone call

There was a major scoop in the Scotsman newspaper – well, I say “newspaper” – yesterday. I’m not giving a link because it only encourages them. The paper breathlessly told us that they’d put in a Freedom of Information request, and as a result had discovered that Nicola Sturgeon had put in some late night calls to advisors just before the news about Derek McKay broke. I know. Colour me shocked. This is the new Watergate. I hope that the Scotsman has tied up the movie rights. They could call it “Woman makes some phone calls as part of her job.”

Yes, that’s right, the Scotsman really did run a story in which they tried to make out that a politician doing her job in a perfectly normal way is something that we should be appalled about. Tomorrow the Scotsman will publish an exclusive scoop to let us know that Thursday follows Wednesday and that there are countries in the world where it doesn’t rain as much as it does in Scotland. Someone ought to put in a Freedom of Information request to see if the Scotsman is in the running for the No Shit Sherlock Prize in the Scottish Press Awards this year.

What the content of this content free attempt at some SNPbaddery boils down to is – fancy that, the First Minister spoke to her advisors just before one of her key ministers was about to resign because of a scandal, and in the process potentially wreck the announcement of a crucial Scottish budget. Don’t know of any other world leader that would do that. Well, at least not in the UK or the USA. Maybe the Scotsman thinks it would have been better for her to do what Boris Johnson does, and just make things up as he goes along. That’s the British way, not this Scottish separatist nonsense of preparing properly for things. You get the distinct impression that they’re no longer really trying with this SNPbaaaaad stuff. They could at least put some bloody effort into it.

Back in the real world, which wouldn’t be the one that the Scottish media lives in, it would be far more shocking if the Scottish First Minister didn’t speak to advisors when she knew that it was soon about to become public knowledge that her finance secretary would be resigning in disgrace just a short time before the Scottish budget needed to be presented to parliament. Then the Scotsman would be publishing a story telling us in pearl clutching terms that the First Minister wasn’t doing her day job.

I’ve been convinced that we’ve reached a new nadir in the British nationalist press in Scotland more often than the Scotsman and the Herald have confidently stated that we’ve passed peak SNP. But just when you think that it can’t possibly get any worse we get pieces like the Herald’s shameful photo montage of mass murderers which it was artfully not linking to Alex Salmond nudge nudge wink wink and now this piece of content free nonsense from the Scotsman which has far less substance than a speck of navel fluff. There are times when the British nationalist print media in Scotland makes Reporting Scotland seem like a hard science documentary on quantum mechanics. The real disgrace is that those times come pretty thick and fast.

There’s considerably more shock horror in what’s going on in the British Government of Boris Johnson, but that rarely seems to attract the same attention from a Scottish media which is desperate to stave off independence, whatever the cost to democracy, to Scotland, or even to common decency. On Tuesday it was announced that Chris Grayling has been appointed to chair the vital intelligence committee in the Commons. No, that’s not a joke, a man who is famed throughout British politics only for his a wilful stupidity is to oversee intelligence. Chris Grayling is the man who more than any other is responsible for the mess that passes for a railway network in the UK. Then he went on to singlehandedly ruin the probation service before giving a ferry contract to a company that didn’t have any boats. Now he’s being given the chance to wreck the security services too. It’s like putting a monkey in charge of a mission to Mars, and then giving as your reasoning the fact that the monkey throws its own poo so it has an understanding of ballistics.

Then, to add to the you couldn’t make it upness of the merdocracy that is the Conservative Government, Nadine Dorries, who’s a health minister, despite being like Chris Grayling notable only for her wilful stupidity, came down with coronavirus while in the act of signing the regulation making coronavirus a notifiable disease, and then didn’t tell anyone about it for five days. Our thoughts go out to the coronavirus at this difficult time. I wouldn’t wish Nadine Dorries on anyone. I learned about Nadine’s health from BBC’s Newsnight, while I was waiting for Jedward to come on and talk about the realpolitik of communicable disease and how it impacts on the economy. The programme told us that Nadine self-isolated because she ‘knew what she was doing’. That must be a first for her.

Nadine spent the past week in Westminster, where she met hundreds of people, she held a constituency surgery and met dozens of her constituents, and she even attended a No 10 reception hosted by Boris Johnson last Thursday. Has she been at any cabinet meetings this week? Asking for a friend. Nadine is now self isolating, although sadly she’s not gone away to hide her head in shame. That requires a degree of self-awareness that no one in the Conservative party possesses, least of all Nadine. Boris Johnson has reportedly told her to take it on the chin. He told her over the telephone while he was wearing a gasmask and was sitting on a stockpile of toiletpaper.

Half the government might now have to self-isolate, although if Boris Johnson did self-isolate no one would notice any difference. Most of Scotland would prefer that the Conservatives self-immolate, but we must be grateful for small mercies. I did always think that Nadine had the potential to take down the government, although admittedly not like this.

But hey, Nicola Sturgeon made some phone calls to her advisors. That’s the real story here. The British media in Scotland tells us Scotland is rubbish and needs the UK to look after it. And they’re a totally disinterested and unbiased party. Ammarite?

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24 thoughts on “Shock horror as Nicola Sturgeon makes a phone call

  1. I would say the Scottis MSM jumped the shark. At this stage it’s now reduced to shark jumping for likes on twitter.

    It doubled down to day with a new scoop.

    Apparently the flu now undermines the case for independence.

    Tomorrow, we’ll learn how the 2nd season of Picard, undermines the case for independence.

  2. Aye, Paul, you are always right . I’m snorting with laughter.Can’t get the gas mask\toilet roll scenario out of my head.That one is a must for your next book.👍

  3. Yes. I read the headline for this ‘shocker’ and, quite literally, couldn’t believe it.
    The Scotsman used to be a proud paper.
    Many of my relations lived in Edinburgh and read it from cover to cover daily as a proven source of real information.
    But this?
    The real shocker is the extent to which the Scottish media is contributing to its own demise.

  4. He wouldn’t isolate by himself, he’d feel a great, overwhelming need, to isolate wee Dominic Goebels along with him, and they’d all miss wee Dominic Goebels, wondering where exactly he was and what nastiness he was planning for them!

    • I noticed Mr Raab coughing away during the budget speech while chewing on something other than the furniture for a change.
      Impossible to tell if he was flushed due to a fever as his face is always that colour.
      The Tory cabinet succumbing to coronavirus brings to mind images of those cheesy Downing Street photo-ops.
      Six foot distance rule, anyone?

  5. I cannae see that lot self-immolating Paul, as I understand it, that usually means “to destroy by fire”, and as we all know, sh*te disnae burn! Especially a heap of it, that size.

  6. “there are countries in the world where it doesn’t rain as much as it does in Scotland. ” I had to pause reading for a while so that I could stop laughing at that one…
    On the money as usual…

  7. The Scotsman and Herald, once the quality papers in Scotland, now only cater for the brainless as who else would be taken in by the nonsense they print. It’s to make the brainless think ‘oh, why was she making phone calls, it must be some sort of cover up’. It probably works for most of the Herald BTL type, they are scary some of them, they seem to share the same single brain cell and it has a jack on it.

  8. Pingback: Shock horror as Nicola Sturgeon makes a phone call | speymouth

  9. The budget— all the promises. More nurses ( probably retirees as new students are not there). More of everything— our caring tories.
    I thought Corbyn showed a caring side spoiled in part by his MP’s texting on their phones in the background and then passing around books for their signature. If they cannot be bothered to listen to Jeremy why should the rest of us.

  10. Craig Murray wants to assert the blame on the SNP leadership. Trying to prevent Alex Salmond getting back into politics. Not exactly impartial. A bit biased. In fact quite ridiculous. To prevent Independence?

    There were allegations the trial would wreck the SNP and the Independence movement. No very plausible. Contrary.

    What a total waste of time and public money.

    Someone gets told they have lost weight. That causes offence. £Millions wasted on that nonsense.

    • Ken Question .
      Have you actually read the comments that have been reported as the testimony of the Crowns star witness ? ,
      She said there was , and maybe still is a circle within the SNP that were compiling evidence against the former first minister , thats not Craigs opinion its the evidence of a witness backed up by other witnesses and texts from members of this group ,
      Now this is a Criminal Trial and any evidence should have been handed to the Police , not SNP management , the plan was to use it to stop the former first minister from continuing in the SNP , and the top management were party to this plan ,Aided by Leslie Laird a british government employee whos witch hunt that only focused on one man and was signed off by Nicola Sturgeon no less
      I dont and not one person on here knows what happend maybe these women are telling the truth who knows , Alex is human only he and his accusers know the truth thats not the point , its the duplicity of those at the top that worries me , they were acting like the security services , maybe they were acting alongside MI5 who knows .
      That simple reported fact gives me the impression those at the top are shit scared of pushing for a second vote , Now that is bloody troubling but confirms certain actions over the last few months

      • Robert, just a small correction. Lesley Evans not Laird.

        When new evidence/facts present themselves, no matter how unpalatable, only a fool would ignore them. You are not a fool. If you don’t consider changing your mind when the facts change then when will you change your mind. These are facts from the case and you are correct to remind Ken.

        Once everyone is aware of the accusers the picture will become clearer but probably still not crystal clear. As much as some in the SNP would wish for their anonymity to prevail it will not. A growing number of people are becoming aware of who the accusers are – rightly or wrongly – all the media for example.

        For the legal profession it is a sexual offences trial. For independence supporters it is a political trial.

        The desire for independence will not diminish – I agree with Ken on that – but I think the official vehicle for independence will probably be fully serviced and raring to go at the end of this matter.

        • Cubby obliged for the correction, i was trying to remember the other woman involved when the rules were changed on historical disciplinary offences this was to include ministers the net was widened and surprisingly the target , the only target just happened to meet the new criteria ,it looks like the whole excercise had only one aim , the troubling part was the apparent involvement of the current first minister . That saddens me a lot it really does .

          • Yes the rules were changed in content but also to apply retrospectively – a practice that in my opinion is beyond the pale.

            Her name is McKinnon. Judith I think. If you look on the Scotgov website under the publications section and look at Freedom of information requests – there are a number that refer to the court case that Salmond won. There are also some that relate to the Ex First Ministers current criminal case – 13/9/2019 is one I found interesting. I have no idea if what happened re the process will be a factor in the criminal case but it certainly gives you the pointer that something nasty was going on. Best not say any more. I will probably say a lot more after the trial.

            With regards to your last sentence I did say above – no matter how unpalatable – follow the evidence.

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