Don’t be like T-Rex

t-rex
It was only a few weeks ago that we entered the year of the rat, so it’s rather appropriate that it has started with a plague. And I’m fed up with doom, gloom, and general woebaggery. We can get back to the serious stuff tomorrow, but in the meantime here’s a blog post to make you laugh. Or not, as the case may be. Because as you know, laughter is the best medicine. Well actually it’s a vaccine, but that has to wait.

Social media was full of rumours yesterday that Prince Philip had died, again. The Royals were faced with the loss of the family member most notable only for his ability to embarrass them, but then Prince Andrew said “I’ve got this one covered.” The oldest member of the British royal family has died more often than the Scottish media’s hopes of finding a Saviour of the Union. So it’s RIP Prince Philip. He will be missed, except if you’re driving a Ford Kia past an intersection on the A149. Of course Philip hasn’t died, although social media keeps circulating rumours of his demise in the knowledge that eventually it will be right and then self-righteous conspiracy theorists on Twitter can tell us that they knew about it all along.

Prince Philip may not have been a victim of the coronavirus, but the Eurovision Song Contest was. Eurovision has met its Waterloo. See what I did there? Eurovision being cancelled is a very big deal, as it’s basically the Olympics for Gay People except without the melodrama, hype, hysteria and general self-importance usually associated with heteronormative sporting events. It is to your average gay person as the European Cup is to an English football fan, only with Slovenian drag queens dressed as air stewardesses and considerably less crying like a spoiled wee girlie because your team didn’t do very well.

The UK is now deprived of a chance to discover that it’s far less popular amongst Europeans than Belarus, a country which at least doesn’t pretend that it’s not a dictatorship with a ruling class who have one of the most pervasive personality cults in the world. Just get Philip Schofield to ask Prince Philip. Isn’t he maaaaaaaaahvellous. Although not when driving past an intersection on the A149.

Yesterday the coronavirus crisis got even more serious. You know it’s serious when even Jackson Carlaw forgoes a chance to blame Nicola Sturgeon for everything. This task has now been left to sections of the yes movement, who are pursuing it with far greater enthusiasm than the British nationalist press could ever manage. Because what all those people frantically searching the empty shelves of supermarkets are really looking for someone to talk to them about constitutional politics.

The British government has said that the UK is now at war with an invisible killer, which isn’t how I’d have expected the Tories to describe the perma-hiding Boris Johnson, but kudos for accuracy. My husband’s gym has just provided a more detailed and carefully thought through plan for dealing with the virus than the British government. Austria has banned all gatherings of more than five people, although the Austrian authorities have not specified if that number includes the ones imprisoned in the basement. Still, at least we don’t have Donald Trump in charge, who is the performing the equivalent of wondering aloud why everyone says we’re on a sinking ship when he’s sitting at the stern which is currently 200 feet in the air.

Many of us started off during this crisis not worrying too much after we heard that the virus doesn’t really affect the young, and then realising that we could remember when VHS was a cutting edge new technology.  Back when VHS tapes were cutting edge new technology, we worried a lot about how the world was going to end. We thought it would end in a nuclear flash and those of us who weren’t vaporised would envy those who were. Either that or it was going to be hordes of zombies. Now we know that it ends in people fighting one another in supermarkets over the last roll of toilet paper, although to be fair those people are difficult to distinguish from a zombie horde. It’s the shittiest episode of Black Mirror ever.

Everyone is stuck indoors. The telly is crap, unless you really love watching a news programme which is exactly like the beginning of every apocalypse movie ever made, with the government studiously ignoring scientific advice. This can only end in two ways. Either in a few months time there will be a few traumatised survivors picking their way through the ruins of Western Civilisation, marvelling at how clean the arses of all the victims are. Or the result of all this enforced intimacy with your significant other is that there’s going to be a baby boom in nine months time. That’s what happens when you snuggle up close to your loved one and whisper those three little words in their ear: “I bought toiletpaper.” This means that in 13 years time we’ll see a new generation to replace the Millenials and Generation Z, the Quaranteenagers. Millenials and Generation Z were described as digital natives. This new generation will be social distancing natives, but then teenagers always do that with their parents anyway so you won’t really notice any difference.

And finally, remember to look out for those worse off than yourself. Donate something to your local foodbank. Give some money to a charity looking after homeless people. Make sure that your elderly relatives and neighbours aren’t going short of anything. Use your time at home productively. Learn a language. Take up a musical instrument. Laugh a little. Laugh a lot. And spare a wee thought for those of us who have bad allergies. People who have permanently runny noses and a propensity to sneeze whenever we see a cat gif have turned into social pariahs. We’re shunned and isolated and no one wants to come anywhere near us. Which means that now I know what it feels like to be a Conservative in Scotland who supports Boris Johnson.

Stay well, and for the duration keep washing those hands. Remember the lesson of the dinosaurs. Tyrannosaurus rex had tiny little arms and couldn’t wash its hands. It’s now extinct. Don’t be like T-Rex.


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68 thoughts on “Don’t be like T-Rex

  1. Pingback: Don’t be like T-Rex | speymouth

  2. Paul I’ve been nursing a virus for three days. Symptoms are dry cough, fever and runny nose. My GP told me over the phone that I didn’t qualify for a COVID test because I hadn’t recently returned form overseas. (I’m in Sydney) On top of all this my daughter has been told to stay home from university because someone in a lecture she attended was diagnosed with COVID 19. Add to all of this indyref2 is postponed the football season is postponed pubs are being shutdown and Rangers have employed a bigoted ludger and DUP councillor as their new PR man and forcing me to question my loyalty to the club. If they don’t sack him pronto then they have lost me. So you can see I’m not having a good week.

    I just wanted to say thanks for the post….it worked and did indeed cheer me up 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

  3. Great post yes, we really do need some laughs. The bit about the zombie victims’s arses being clean, brilliant.

    On subject of the gym, but only vaguely really related, my son has asthma and some allergies. About three years ago he ended up on oxygen in hospital for a few days, his asthma was really bad. I worked out it was probably so because he had been to a trampoline centre, and the muck and dust from that must have given his lungs hell. Maybe masks even just for dust and other particles, should be worn at the gym and places like trampoline centres.

    It might start to be a thing anyway now.

    Take care and watch stuff on Netflix or archive.org, or Open Culture, or Short of the Week. I like watching National Lib of Scotland moving image archive as well. So much to watch aside from the uninspiring TV programmes.

    • Possibly house dust mites in the dust. Although they have ‘house’ in their name you can find them lots of places where there is dust. They do cause allergies – I wont tell you which bit of them causes allergies, you might be eating.

      I hope your son keeps well. My son has asthma too but not too badly.

  4. Indeed, laughter is the best medicine, and as ArtyHetty was in stitches at “…marvelling at how clean the arses of all the victims are”..
    Sunny Spring mornings here, so can be pleasantly and productively occupied around the house and garden, a splendid isolation…

  5. Dear Paul, I am appalled (as it were) at this brazen invasion of my privacy. If you have not commissioned a team of clandestine tech experts to break into and bug my house then you must explain, forthwith, just exactly how you know about learning the new language – Russian, again, learning an instrument – I intend to emerge from this as a fully-fledged string quartet, just wait and see, and, the absolute clincher, my inherited legacy from the Seven Dwarves’ Sneezy. I demand that you come as clean as a survivor’s arse, fess up (that’s one for French speakers – look it up) and despatch your team of miscreants to remove the offending surveillance equipment immediately before I set about my inch-by-inch search of our property. And I will find it – I have all the time in the world, even if the Russian and the music have to wait. And if you are deafened by an amplified explosive sneeze, then it’s your own fault. You have been warned!
    PS Please send your team for virus testing before they arrive, and advance notice of an approximate time slot would be much appreciated. Any day ending in y is fine. Stay well. Saor Alba

  6. Maaaarvellous was a line I remember from the red dwarf episode where Arnold grimmer gets infected by a holo virus that nearly kills him kinda ironic in a way using that in a blog about a different virus.

  7. As somebody who is in one of the highest risk categories, having severe COPD, I have been more or less in isolation for a month or so now. My biggest problem is boredom. I cancelled my TV licence years ago but looking at the schedules for TV, I’m still not missing much. YouTube has much to offer but gets clogged up with recommendations based on what you have already watched. I watched a clip on landslides in Spanish a few weeks ago and my YouTube suggested Spanish language clips for a week after that.

    Netflix and Amazon Prime have some decent stuff, some diamonds among the dross, but maybe I’m just too fussy. A jigsaw has been looked out, my negative scanner dusted down to copy all my old photies, the freezer cleared of anything over a year old, Kindle stocked up with free books and lots of interesting websites bookmarked. Wings seems to have been grounded in Bath for now but the pilot seemed to be losing the plot anyway, so we’re probably safer giving that flight a miss until the normal biting satire service can be resumed.

    The highlight of my day though is still this page, so don’t stop, don’t slow down. Put that ginger genius to work and keep us informed, entertained and occupied with gems from the world of politics, current affairs and other targets. Thank you.

    • Ditto, Andy.

      ‘Better Call Saul’, ‘Bosch’, ‘Goliath’, ‘Sneaky Pete’, ‘Breaking Bad’, are all belly bustin’ binge feasts, even second time around.
      My neighbour let me gorge on his ‘Sopranos box set, and if you clack in ‘YouTube British Movies’, you stumble across some great stuff from the ‘fifties, sixties, and beyond, as well as some absolute dross of course.
      For those suffering from Fitba withdrawal, type in ‘YouTube and your team’s name, and a world of glory and glorious failure opens up before your very eyes.
      And the music available is mind bending.

      I’m working my way through Dickens at the mo. As a book nut, I have hunners of classics to revisit.
      My Everlovin’ muses that I am a hermit at heart, anyway.

      We’ll get through this, for sure.
      Keep warm and safe, and the same to those nearest you.

  8. CORONAVIRUS LESSON

    >>> “Still, at least we don’t have Donald Trump in charge, who is the performing the equivalent of wondering aloud why everyone says we’re on a sinking ship when he’s sitting at the stern which is currently 200 feet in the air.”

    HA ! And God help the USUK peasants – may they break out of stearage before their lords and masters go down with the ship (we hope!).

    “We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” – T. S. Eliot, 1888 – 1961

    “Yes I know he’s one of ‘them’, but sometimes ‘they’ know more than we what we are up to.” – Gore Vidal, 1925 – 2012

    JONATHAN COOK

    Jonathan Cook, the British journalist who has lived and reported from Palestine for decades, sees the USUK very clearly indeed.

    Needless to say he’s no longer published regularly in the USUK Muppet Stream Media. But _you_ need to read him to see the UK as clearly as he does.

    ‘A lesson coronavirus is about to teach the world’, by Jonathan Cook, 17th March 2020 – Jonathan-Cook.net –

    https://www.jonathan-cook.net/blog/2020-03-17/lesson-coronavirus-teach-world/

    An always useful twitter feed – Jonathan Cook – Twitter –

    https://twitter.com/Jonathan_K_Cook

    • While we’re at it, Mark Curtis, UK historian and journalist, has news that is _never_ in the USUK Muppet Stream Media and is _always_ relevant. –

      https://twitter.com/markcurtis30

      And then there’s the occasional bullseye from an incandescent Paul B. Lyons in Glasgow. –

      https://twitter.com/plyons45/status/1239705167555178496

      Hence “Where is the English Charlotte Corday who will rid us of this turbulent Marat?” Which may be rude, but is it rude enough ! ?? : )

    • If the National has any moxy, it will reproduce Jonathan Cooks incredible piece, in full, on the front page tomorrow.

      Managing the NHS is not ‘target driven’, like selling Mars Bars.
      But that’s the ‘market driven’ model used in England since Thatcher.
      When we achieve self determination, there is much work to do, not least of all to nationalise energy and Health Provision completely.

      I have one gas meter and one electric meter, yet dozens of private companies vying for my consumer ‘business.
      A nonsense, of course.

      Imagine if we had not voted against water privatisation, and had water meters installed below the sink ‘charging’ for every litre?

      Stay safe, everyone. There is a brighter future ahead.
      The ‘UK’ is dead.

  9. Ok, I seriously want to see that T-Rex graphic posted up everywhere as a public information advisory notice! Go on, you know you want to! 🙂

    • Not like you to get it wrong Petra. Should be possible or alleged contempt should it not – unless of course I missed the speedy conviction.

  10. I’ve no desire to increase the worry out there but I think it important.

    I’m sure the government will be addressing this, but internet security is paramount at this time. I’m not sure what the bandwidth capacity is, but with the lockdown server capacity will be sorely tested and the possibility of outage is very real.

    Perhaps some public advice to reduce usage would be timely – if we all curtail online activity to a couple of hours each day, it will help preserve the system integrity and performance.

    It also protects against another threat – if some idiot releases a virus over the net that infects our devices. That would be a catastrophe. I’m sure this will have been considered, but we can all play a part ourselves.

    Keep to television and radio as much as you can and limit your time online until bandwidth can cope with the usage and the system security is enhanced. If you have an antiviral computer package, check for daily new and updates. Use the internet during the night or for a few minutes at a time during the day – and when you finish the session, disconnect the wi-fi or shut the device down completely.

    Just a thought..

  11. Nicola and the current SNP hierarchy are definitely washing their hands and not their spears. Opportunism abounds. In any event there should be a full scale count and reckoning when the Salmond trial concludes if Sturgeon and her acolytes.

    • Some people are flying close to the wind with the accusations that they are making against the FM of Scotland. They should start putting their money where their mouth is and provide us all with evidence instead of the drip, drip of gossip and petty but influential insinuation. I’ve even read recently that NS is an agent of the British State who was recruited whilst she was at university, from someone who doesn’t seem to be too bothered about the repercussions of making such a statement. Strange too that those who are into conspiracies theories haven’t wondered about the people who are running such blogs.

      …………………………..

      Some facts:-

      https://indyref2.space/forum/topic/links-thursday-19-march-2020/

      …………………………

      ‘Value of Scottish natural resources calculated for first time.’

      ..”Natural resources in Scotland have been valued at one-third of the UK’s total by a groundbreaking new study.”..

      https://amp.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/uk/value-of-scottish-natural-resources-calculated-for-first-time-37941175.html?__twitter_impression=true

      • Excellent news. But a very stressful strategy. Who’s next – Robertson or even Finney. Nope don’t think it will be Robertson somehow.

        • Point being Cubby the FM of Scotland’s actions are increasing support. Like it or not (for you). More than anything I hope to see Alex Salmond being found innocent of all crimes and then embracing Nicola Sturgeon in public. By God if that happens that will surely shut up the man, lately Unionist ersehole, from Bath, and more so people like you. Most of us are totally scunnered with the denunciation of Nicola Sturgeon and the SNP. Time to get out of the online gaslighting time warp pal and get real.

          • Jack you said hear hear to Petras extremely offensive comments about me.

            Out of respect for WGD and his site I have been very mild in my reply to Petra.

          • ‘gaslighting time warp’?
            ‘Extremely offensive’?
            Really, Cubby?
            My ‘hear,hear,’ related to Petra’s comment:-

            ‘More than anything I hope to see Alex Salmond being found innocent of all crimes and then embracing Nicola Sturgeon in public.’

            Am I forgiven? It’s bad enough pacing the hallway, without losing e friends and Duggers.

          • Jack, I have no problem in the way you clarified your hear hear comment but the fact remains Petra addressed very offensive comments to me. I will be happy to accept you did not mean to indicate your agreement to Petras comments about me.

            Nothing to forgive you for Jack.

          • Why would I not like support to increase Petra?

            Please do not call me pal.

            You are getting extremely offensive and personal.

            Please desist.

      • Petra,
        Why would the Salmond trial be increasing support for the SNP? That seems to be a rather odd leap to make without any evidence of a causal correlation. It would perhaps be more accurate to say that it is not decreasing support for the SNP. Events have overtaken any importance or relevance the case had.

        It is more likely to be the competent and calm manner in which Ms Sturgeon and her Government are handling this very, very serious outbreak that has increased support for the SNP

        • ” It would perhaps be more accurate to say that it is not decreasing support for the SNP.”

          ”It is more likely to be the competent and calm manner in which Ms Sturgeon and her Government are handling this very, very serious outbreak that has increased support for the SNP.”

          Agreed Legerwood.

      • I suspect John Robertson’s comment was a tongue in cheek “The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated” to the scottish media after months of predicting the demise of Salmond, SNP, and the independence movement.

  12. Talking of washing hands the local Aldi has installed not one but two handy illustrated guides on how to effectively wash your hands in its facility. But has no sodding soap dispenser.

    The unfortunate staff member I caught on his own on the way out confirmed my suspicions that this was down to the fact that they had none and were unable to obtain any supplies at present. Probably because there are tons of the stuff sitting idly unused in cupboards and shelves throughout the land.

    Meaning that at a time when people need to be washing their hands properly in public spaces to prevent the spread of ordinary germs never mind a bleedin’ virus its not possible due to the selfish individualism of the herd mentality – currently infecting the airwaves of local BBC radio with tales of how public spirited they are.

    Yeah! Reyt!

    Not sure at this point in time just how robust or, if you like, draconian, preventative measures will be.

    However, should things get really bad to the point where it gets difficult to leave the house without facing a snatch squad of either official busies (as the police are known in Liverpool) or civilian vigilantes, I have come up with a fool proof method of going about unmolested.

    Bearing in mind that as a result of the privatisation and under resourcing of everything (can you imagine Winston Churchill during WW2 politely requesting private factories if they would please see their way, iof its not too much trouble, to switching production to Spitfires as Johnson meekly did on Monday in regard to ventilators etc?) there is a shortage of masks; if you do therefore find yourself in this unfortunate situation the following action is advised.

    Firstly, cough FIVE times.

    Then, in your best Clint Eastwood voice confront your assailants with the following announcement:

    “This is a Covid-19 chest cough.

    The most powerful chest cough in the world.

    It can blow your nose clean off.

    Now in all this excitement I don’t know if I let off five coughs or six?

    The question you have to ask yourself is

    ‘do I feel lucky’?

    Well! Do ya, Punk”

    This should work on even the terminally obtuse.

    Alternatively, for those with a functioning brain cell, you should actively seek to get yourself arrested. Its probably the only way you are ever going to achieve a free test for the virus given that, as a result of the Eton Pantomime Dames Society currently running the Country, it cannot be too long before the UK officially changes its name by deed poll to “Numptyland.”

    Finally, a request. Would anyone like to join me in donning a couple of full length Hazmet suits and rushing into a supermarket yelling “WHICH WAY DID HE GO?”

  13. Just checking out:-

    Moving on now from Breeks over Scotland with a mist (001) hanging over him and all of this sovereignty sh*t where should we go now? Support Nicola Sturgeon and the SNP or support him and his English bound master? Make up your mind time folks.

  14. Meanwhile billionaire or rather multi-trillionaire Queenie, one old woman, has just left the 800 hundred roomed Buckingham Palace to meet her husband, one old man, leaving their (her) 755 room Sandringham Palace to meet up together in the 1000 roomed Windsor Palace.

    SAY NO MORE.

    Then off they’ll all go to congregate in our land, Scotland, at the 55 bedroom Balmoral Castle in Scotland (Harry et al have been invited from Canada too). Great place no doubt for them all to hide out from the coronavirus.

    Message from her.

    She says, that in relation to the coronavirus that she and her family “stand ready to play our part”. What bl**dy part? Buy some respirators? Throw in a few million to help people on zero hour contracts? Open up their (our) castles and palaces to the homeless and unfortunates? No way. Forget it.

    Message from me.

    I’m a sovereign Scot who can get rid of her through a referendum, I will if I can do so, and claim my countries share of the aforementioned castles and palaces other than Balmoral. Fork up missus, Queen of Scots my erse, or just shut up and bail out now. We’ve had enough of this farce. Time up for you and your ilk, imo.

    • Petra, I think that the fog has at last cleared for many of our fellow Scots.
      The very notion that, by an accident of birth, this woman, and her ever increasing spawn, are our ‘betters’, that they ‘rule’ over us, and that we should bow before them as they siphon off hundreds of millions of our tax pounds, is, and has always been, a complete and utter nonsense.

      An evil fairy tale, a joke dynasty, propped up by a mighty Establishment, an Iron Heel Oligarchy, who control our lives, by force of arms, and elitism.

      The Marx Debate; a mountain of coal has more value to society that a single diamond.
      What would you rather own now? A Harry Potter fairy story, or a 24 pack of toilet roll?
      This virus will be a great leveller, on many levels.

      The UK is dead, and come the day, which is merely deferred, surely to god Scots will opt for self determination.
      I watch Johnson on the telly, and scarcely believe that this man is running the UK.
      Well said, Petra.

      A plague on all their houses.

    • Puts one in mind of this recent article:

      https://www.thecanary.co/trending/2020/03/19/football-legend-gary-neville-has-royally-humiliated-richard-philanthropist-branson/

      Reminding us that Branson is not the only person who has been humiliated by Neville and Giggs:

      Too many people have got their priorities the wrong way around. Favouring the easy option of blaming those with nothing or next to nothing as “scroungers” (because the newspapers tell the them to) whilst letting the real scroungers off the hook at the same time as shoveling not only their money into these parasites pockets but everybody else’s.

      As someone once said “In it together my arse!”

      On the subject of Branson, laying off staff and enforcing 8 weeks unpaid leave whilst demanding public money with menace’s:

      I passed one of his money outlets the other day and made a mental note to pop into WH Smith’s a few doors down on the way back to purchase some thick permanent marker pens to do some street art pithy observation on the way back. But, you what senior moments do to you as you get older.

      No doubt someone, somewhere, will rectify my omission.

      Perhaps something along the lines of (and excuse the formatting, there’s no way around it):

      Billionaire
      scRounger
      Asset-stripping
      Nhs
      Stealing
      Our
      moNey

  15. If there had been an IndyRef in October it would have been cancelled. The best time to have an IndyRef is when it could be won.

  16. Petra says: in reference to Craig Murray being denied access to the Alex Salmond court case – “who cares, another biased wee man”, you opine.

    I’m astonished at your expressed opinion, of not caring. Craig Murray, and by extension we, are being denied an account of the court proceedings beyond the version of the UK controlled media. Note no charge has been placed upon him however the objective has been achieved, to deny him the opportunity to report.

    Assenge – another in your who cares category? Sheridan – didn’t someone, from the UK press perjure himself and yet walked free?

    Johnson has decided to afford himself the luxury of emergency powers, for the duration of the virus crisis? Oh no, just for two whole years. I wonder what he has in mind.

    All before our eyes Petra, all before our eyes.And disregarding the political divergence of Scotland from England.

    • “who cares, another biased wee man.”

      Craig Murray marched alongside me in the rain in Edinburgh last year for a short period of time. I am over 6 feet and he didn’t seem that small to me. So it is clearly intended to be a derogatory comment. Never met him before and haven’t since but I feel happy to confirm most people would not describe him as wee.

      Wishing people to be convicted is also pretty nasty. The truth matters and we won’t get that from the British state media.

      • You forget Petra hid behind a question mark Cubby.

        The exact quote is “Craig Murray another biased wee man?”

        I don’t agree with all of Mr Murray’s views, however I know a person of honour when I see and hear one.

        • I don’t agree with all of his views either eg his article on the coronavirus. I wouldn’t want to see him convicted of a crime.

        • Well said Paul, the unionists will be enjoying this as long as we are arguing with each other.. Remember their tactics of divide and conquer. Never under estimate the Tory’s.

  17. Here’s a thought.

    If you have tickets for any large volume event which has or will now be cancelled.

    You have spent the money anyway, Don’t ask for a refund.

    All artists, performers should donate all the monies to food banks or homeless, or childcare
    charities.

    Result Everybody gets to feel better.

    We put a dent in need in Scotland.

    And best of all.

    THE TICKET TOUTS GET F**KED OVER.

    we ar’ ‘ra pepeel

  18. A previous comment by Mark Russell eh maybe needs Clarification, sorry Mark you can’t break the internet now ,systems are in place to throttle demand on servers , these slow down requests to the servers and limit through traffic , if demand overwhelms servers they simply ignore new requests while processing current requests, in other words the system protects itself so as not to exceed the limits of the servers processing capabilities.
    The biggest danger is a DOS “Denial of Service” incident , this is usually intentional and should trigger an phased shutdown until the source is identified , I agree Security is a No 1 top Priority during a crisis like we have presently , but normal use even with increasing demand won’t break the Internet.

  19. Think we all best brace ourselves for the coming week, this is going to be a tough one on so many levels – fear, sadness, grief and the realisation that we are now in a different age. A different civilisation. It doesn’t yet seem that way – we still have our technology and the comforting things that we’ve grown used to. But all that is about to change – and that will prove a huge readjustment. All the things that consumed us at New Year don’t mean anything anymore. Scottish independence too – for the time being, if ever. This is truly a game changer.

    There’s been a couple of times in my life when I’ve lost everything – money, job, house, family, friends – and it was a difficult transition both times. You go into a sort of survival mode – and withdraw from everything and everyone – until your brain can process the information and emotions properly – and you can figure out what happened before resuming some sort of normality.

    It takes time. Be patience. Try not to o/d on all the news breasts whilst we still have them. Find something to do to occupy your time – it seems daft, but if you engross yourself in even the simplest thing, it allows the brain to get on with its job in the subconscious – sorting out the malfunction the shock has caused.

    I climb and play guitar. If I’m really stressed, I’d be away to Glencoe and solo a climb then down to the Kingshouse for a beer and a few tunes By the time I got home, the problem had sorted itself without me even thinking about it. That’s how we work. Our conscious brain – the bit we think we think with – deals with the here and now – but it’s our subconscious brain where all the amazing stuff happens. You have to find a space where you can do the same too. Learn to paint, sew, sing, play a musical instrument. While we still have utilities and internet I’ll post a daily guitar piece so if any enthusiasts or beginners are in this community – you can have something new to practice.

    And don’t despair. However dark the days ahead become. It was just a coincidence that we were all here at this time – as scary as it is – but here we are and we must do our best to survive. I hope those that do will be able to find all these words that have been written here, by Mr K. They provide a unique flavour of politics in this wee country during our times – and will always raise a smile.

    So bloody near…

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