The Betty Windsor Show

Rejoice! Let the bunting fly, for Betty Windsor is to address us. Well that solves all our problems, said no one ever. The BBC and assorted other crawlers, sychophants, and brown nosers insist on telling us how unusual it is for Mrs Mountbatten to address the plebs when it’s not Christmas, as though this should somehow make us think that we’re in for a treat as we watch an elderly and extremely privileged and wealthy woman mouth some platitudes in a plummy accent.

It would be nice if she apologised for the behaviour of her son, who buggered off to rural Aberdeenshire after the Scottish government had expressly said that people shouldn’t travel to their holiday homes in rural areas of Scotland. In doing so he spread the virus locally, and in his entitlement deprived the local population of the services of a much needed acute respitory infection team who had to travel deep into the countryside from their usual place of work to test him and his retinue – a test which is still denied to most NHS workers and the public. In the process they were not available for patients who could well have been considerably more ill than Charles was. But don’t go holding your breath for any acknowledgement from his mother that a family whose entire purpose is to sit on a throne of entitlement should apologise for the harm they cause to others by depriving them of resources.

Things are so bad that the NHS has had to source some much needed equipment from an online sex fetish shop. No, I am not making that up. So frankly, unless Elizabeth Windsor is going to use a significant part of that massive fortune of hers to buy some ventilators and a couple of thousand shed loads of personal protection equipment for NHS workers, she’s wasting her time – and more importantly ours. Apart from essential workers, the rest of us have some serious business to get through, like lying on the sofa in our underwear and binge watching The Tiger King on Netflix. It’s a show which is full of stupid, selfish, greedy, and self-absorbed people. So it’s very much like the Royal family, but is considerably more entertaining and with a touch more self-awareness.

Being brought up in a household by West of Scotland Catholic parents with a genetic aversion to all things monarchical, it’s my proud boast that I’ve made it into late middle age without ever once having seen Liz Windsor address the UK. It might not be much in the way of virginity, but it’s all I’ve got and I’m quite determined that it’s a cherry which will remain firmly unpopped.

We live in a time when parliaments, the courts and tribunals are suspended, when government is by decree. The police can stop you in the street to determine whether your presence in a public space is legitimate. We live in fear while the media acts as unthinking cheerleaders for the government. We’ve learned from this crisis that democracy is a fragile thing, that all the things we took for granted so recently can vanish overnight – but it’s hard to be reassured about the future of democracy when the head of state is appointed for life on the basis of who her dad was. We get Liz Windsor on our TV screens, but what we don’t get, heaven forfend, is anything that might tell the people of Scotland that they belong to a country in its own right, a country with a history, constitutional tradition, and identity of its own. A country where the role of the monarch was always tightly circumscribed by a deep rooted belief in the sovereignty of the people, not the crown.

We live in a Scotland where the 700th anniversary of the foundation document of the Scottish nation is not being celebrated by the broadcast media or that British government which is pleased to tell us that we’re a part of a glorious union. The good news is that no state led commemoration has had to be cancelled. The bad news is that that’s because there weren’t any.

Think on that for a second. It’s like the 200th anniversary of the American Declaration of Independence passing unremarked in the US media. It’s like the 500th anniversary of the 95 Theses of Martin Luther not being commented upon by the Lutheran Church. It’s like South Africa not marking the 100th anniversary of the birth of Nelson Mandela. It’s like France forgetting the 200th anniversary of its revolution. Even the 300th anniversary of the Treaty of Union in 2007 got a coin.

It’s exactly like the British state not marking the 800th anniversary of the Magna Carta – an event which was marked with a special £2 commemorative coin, a set of commemorative stamps, specially commissioned BBC documentaries, and a series of events throughout the whole of 2015 including events in the Westminster Parliament. Yet for the equivalent for Scotland, we get nothing. Not a whisper. Tell me again how the British media and the British state do a good job of representing Scotland.

Where is Scotland’s commemorative coin and set of stamps? Where are the BBC documentaries? Where is the year long series of commemorative events at the British – or for that matter the Scottish – Parliament? You’d almost think that the establishment was afraid that Scotland might be reminded that it’s an ancient nation with its own constitutional traditions, traditions which are founded in the absolute sovereignty of the people of Scotland, not of the crown.

But this is Scotland in the UK, where Scottishness is to be reduced to tartan bows on a shortbread tin, kilts at weddings, and the condescension of English sporting commentators. Don’t dare get above yourself Scotland, at every turn, at every opportunity, you will be reminded of your own lack of importance. Stand to attention for God Save the Queen, Betty Windsor is gracing the TV screen in your locked down hovel with an address to the nation – the nation that doesn’t know Scotland’s name. We’re just an unspeaking silent extra providing a bit of background colour in the Betty Windsor Show.

And finally, because we could all do with some cheering up during these difficult times…

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68 thoughts on “The Betty Windsor Show

  1. That’s because they don’t want anyone to think: “Hey if we’re a separate country then why do we have to put up with all this shit!?”

  2. Like you I won’t waste my wasted time listening.
    But, for the onionists , for a brief moment in the Chaos on the Planet a presentation by lizzy the last will attempt to convince them that everything has been organised.
    Well it is for the royals, their funerals are already well planned.
    The rest of us might just manage to get a space in a mass grave IF things are not controlled.
    I’m sure the nightingale facilities will become known to all as the’ Lonely Death’ rooms.

  3. “Being brought up in a household by West of Scotland Catholic parents with a genetic aversion to all things monarchical, it’s my proud boast that I’ve made it into late middle age without ever once having seen Liz Windsor address the UK. It might not be much in the way of virginity, but it’s all I’ve got and I’m quite determined that it’s a cherry which will remain firmly unpopped.”

    You really should stop writing stuff like that whilst A&E are on restricted admissions! That was almost organ failure time.

    No doubt we will be told that “we’re all in this together” and if we behave ourselves things will soon be back to “normal”. Only we aren’t and it sure wont. Whatever these parasites might think.

  4. Pingback: The Betty Windsor Show | speymouth

  5. Latest stats produced say that IF you are admitted to a london hospital with corona it’s a 50/50 shot that you recover.
    The media are carefully avoiding.
    Watford General Hospital closed to emergencies, go to the next hospital, they must be swamped.
    In the meantime the the nighting ale still has no patients, much like the old Yes Minister hospital with a full staff and no patients being listed as the most efficient.
    Just dug the dvds out and remarkable that the same stuff was being pushed then, no money to do anything.

  6. At least the Leaders of nations could be forgiven for the Great Plague and the Black Death as they had no idea what they were dealing with. Todays leaders do know what they are dealing with and their handling of this plague is despicable. Our conspiring Media along with these leaders well be recorded in the history of these times.

  7. It would be more appropriate for the privileged to be donating hefty sums of their ill gotten gains to the very ones they discuss as ‘the front liners in this battle’. Seriously, the privileged’s mantra is effectively ‘mod’ talk. Even the mod get a pension, and sometimes, dependants get the pension when life is lost.
    All those low paid ‘front liners’ should be getting a heck of a lot more than a round of applause. Who looks after and supports their families financially when they’ve been ‘taken in the frontline’…it certainly will not be generous pensions and donations from the privileged few.

    And I hope to bloody hell they don’t start up the ritualistic anthem that was shoved down our throats when we were wee. It used to blast out of the one channel telly and ruined the Saturday matinee. Urgh. I could never understand why we had to stand up and sing to a supposedly iconic figure that was not iconic anyway.

    Bring on the republic.

  8. Do we really expect anything else?

    Scotland’s history has been gradually erased since 1707. it’s their way of assimilation.

    Back in the day when I was at school a long, long time ago I could recite the date of the battle of Hastings, Knew all about brave Lord Nelson and Sir Francis Drake taking on and routing ‘Jonny Foreigner’, the wonderful and brave’ Charge of the Light Brigade’ and of course ‘The Lady of the Lamp’.
    Up until your previous post I had sadly never heard of Louisa Jordan. This I feel is their way of “If we can’t get them out we’ll breed them out” nothing but nothing of Scotland’s history is to be told unless it’s failure, like Culloden, another part of history we got taught at school.
    ” See what happens when you get above your station”
    What they didn’t teach were defeats like ‘Isandlwana’ or the 20,000 men of the Highland Regiment left at the rear at Dunkirk to hold back the entire German Army whilst the rest made their ‘Glorious escape’ back to blighty.

    Obviously back in my day it was The Department of Education before education was devolved, hopefully nowadays our children and grandchildren are being taught all aspects of history and not just the ‘Empires’ version.
    If not then they are in trouble because the internet is a wonderful thing.

    Once Covid 19 is out the way we should have The Declaration of Independence part 2

    • Same. I’d left the UK and lived in Spain for 15 years and knew more about Spanish and Catalan history than I did about my own country. Looks like that’s the way they like us.

    • Me too Jim, so I went back to school, well uni anyway, and have learned so much more than I could ever have anticipated, still learning. And I’m really pleased that my daughter is far more enlightened and fully supportive of her and her partner’s future – he’s a Scottish-Hungarian.

  9. The reality is this absolute shower who keep breeding.with all their
    Hangers on.have lived a privileged life all their days a shower who
    Have never ever performed an honest days worked in their life.
    Would not know the meaning of a hard shift.and she is going to sit
    And try and tell us she shows concern for us.and what us common
    Punters are going through.anyone who is willing to waste their time
    Listening to anything she has to say has not got the brains they where
    Born with.mind you there will be plenty Britnats.unionists in Scotland.
    Who will listen to the her waffle.stand to attention.and sing.god safe
    The are not right in the head if you do that.
    I honestly do not wish harm to anyone on this planet truthfully.
    But I can recall when her mother died.and at a very good age.i can
    remember the tabloid headlines.she will be greatly missed and
    A great loss to many.(.to who.)
    As my dear mother said to me many years ago.remember this son
    If ever you are starving the royalty are not going to put a loaf of bread
    On your table.and how true those words are.
    Lets get rid.and roll on a prosperous independent as we do
    not have to put up with any of this nonsense anymore.
    Lets get out of this discredited union.the quicker the better.

  10. The problem with the so called UK is the antiquated, undemocratic, utterly unequal class system kept well and truly alive by the so called royal family. It’s still seen as a sign of entitlement if you talk in a ‘plummy’ voice.

    Read, ‘Living off the state, a critical guide to royal finance’ by Jon Temple, 2008, Progress books. Tip of the iceberg in the facts the author reveals about pomp and privilege and how the richest family in the UK are basically parasites who know exactly how to acquire, spend and hoard money, and there is no such thing as trickle down in the UK.

    I was perusing the internet for info on the ‘Crown estate’. It’s not a trust, it’s a company, and ‘profits’ go to the treasury. It’s hard to work out exactly what they are about, or quite who they are in fact, but they own vast swathes of land, sea and properties across the UK, including of course in Scotland, and all really just because they took it, and because they say it’s theirs. In a democracy that would just not be acceptable.

    It’s still a class ridden rotten UK and Scotland has to escape it or the chain around the unicorns neck will be there forever.

    I like the song, it made me laugh anyway! Very good voices and instruments as well.

  11. This weekend also marks the 200th anniversary of the Battle of Bonnymuir when my ancestor Andrew Hardie, fighting for workers’ rights and fair wages was betrayed by British Government spies and taken prisoner. He along with his comrade John Baird were cruelly hanged and beheaded at Stirling Castle on 8 Sept 1820. Andrew Hardie was my grandfather’s great or great great uncle and he was very proud of him. I only knew of this story from him growing up, don’t remember ever being taught about them orvtheir fellow Radicals at school.

    • I grew up in the Calton and never learned about the weavers of Shettleston, or the Battle of Langside, or radical Renfrew, or any other local and national history in school. It was all about English history. I believe that Scottish education is much better now but there are generations of Scots who were deprived of our ancestral knowledge.

  12. She’ll be coming on to tell us that she has signed the “DNR” documant and that we should be willing to do the same for her beloved “Nation”. A new meaning to “Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori”

  13. The Royal Mail has been embarrassed into producing a special miniature sheet with the four Scottish definitives for £4.46 that come out on Monday…about as exciting as a soggy mouldy Arbroath Smokie.

    A number of more inspiring philatelic (Stamp) covers are being produced by Scottish Philatelic Societies

      • Fair enough. I have to admit I’ve been pleasantly surprised by some of the content, interview questions and challenges from BBC Radio Scotland recently (John Beattie excepted!) Can’t say the same for BBC Scotland TV though. Another great piece, btw, Paul. I should have said that at the outset.

  14. Gold Dust Test Robots taken from Scottish University by Royal Navy
    On “special request from No. 10 “ the Royal Navy turned up at Dundee University’s school of Life sciences to transport it’s two King Fisher Flex Robots to Milton Keynes to be part of the National Covid -19 Diagnostic Centre. “these machines are like Gold dust”
    Also says in this article that They were donated by the University.

    Were they part of Scotland’s testing programme?.

    Further reporting in the times.

    • And then when there’s something to celebrate due to England acquiring the “gold dust” test robots, Scotland’s key role in it won’t get a mention.

  15. I was brought up similar to yourself Paul. Never listened to auld lizzie and no about to start now.

    I hear bojo has written to all the other party leaders to come together to find a way through this. In other words, he’s no idea what to do. Do you think that he’s written to either Nicola or Ian Blackford?

    Labour have a new leader, well, there was a time when that might have mattered, but now, not at all. But, thon yin, eh” scottish labour leade” whits’shisname says the new leader “gets Scotland”. Oh well, that’s a’ right then, boak.

  16. Three-part documentary “The Declaration of Arbroath” on BBC Radio Scotland on 6th, 7th, 8th April at 13:30. Repeated 11th, 12th at 06:00 and 13th at 06:30.
    So the BBC get to say they did something, but it’s hardly prime time.

  17. In fact, Paul, there was a 5d stamp in 1970 commemorating the Declaration of Arbroath. It was the lowest value of a set commemorating significant anniversaries that year. I recall it prompted lots of complaints from south of the border along the lines of “Who has ever heard of this” and “How can that be considered important?”. Otherwise you are quite correct to contrast the ignoring of the Declaration to the celebration of that charter which was almost entirely aimed at protecting baronial property rights.

    • Magna Carta was rejected by the Papal court and has no legal standing in International law, unlike the Declaration of Arbroath. You can understand why they would not like comparisons between the two documents.

  18. I NEVER listen to Mrs Windsor.

    As a six year old I was required to spend a morning in the cold waiting to see her drive straight past in her limo. I knew then that I was being abused for the benefit of people who didn’t care of I was alive or dead. Mine was to be the life of a spectator, to celebrate the English Queen.

    Fat f***ing chance.

  19. Apparently the “Saxe-Coburg und Gotha Roadshow” (starring Brenda Windsor as herself, with a smattering of corgis*) will replace Antiques Roadshow on BBC1 at 8pm on Sunday – a programme devoted to members of the public being left to swoon and admire some dusty old fossils, that otherwise sit around in darkest part of their houses and have less and less utility as the years go by.

    No change there, then.

    *Corgis or lapdogs. At the time of going to press, it was unclear which breed would feature.

  20. Your blogs give me so much pleasure, and heart with regard to Scottish Independence….thank you!! Betsy

  21. You can understand the BritNats doing their utmost to totally ignore the 700th anniversary of the Declaration of Arbroath. There’s no way that they want to inform the Scots that they’ve got the right to give Frau Batty the right royal heave ho unlike the hoi-polloi south of the border.

  22. I remember back in 1953 being taken by my parents to the only house In the community with a TV – black and white of course .I simply couldn’t understand even at the tender age of 7 why all these people crammed into a wee sitting room and were living on the breadline were so enthralled by all this opulence and gratuitous wealth. Whatever the differences in the YES movement we need to hold fast and gain our Independence and as in the Declaration of Arbroath put the people above the Monarchy n

    • Was that in Priesthill, if so it was my house. I remember that and the big party my dad and others organised in the crescent outside our house. It was brilliant as I won a toy car in a race. I was 8 years old and remember it vividly. Now, absolutely no time for any of them. Like many posting here, I was not taught any Scot’s history at primary school or at Shawlands. It was not until I came to Australia, and decided that being an engineer was not for me, and started doing different studies at university that I discovered we Scots did have a unique and separate history. As an example, contraire to what the English would have you believe, Nelson was not the best sea captain the RN had, it was Admiral Thomas Cochrane, born in Annsfield, Hamilton. If you don’t know of him, please research him, you will be amazed.

  23. They will definitely not put food on your table, not put clothes on your family, jobs for your household, or give you your land back etc etc, nothing will change unless we make that needed change.
    Which begs a question that no one seems to be able to answer for me,( and I so want one).
    If the declaration of Arbroath is internationally recognised, and still applies to us throughout all these centuries, surely the treaty of the union in 1707 is illegal, I have read and know enough to know that people protested all over Scotland at that time and opposed joining Scotland to England. I also know there was no such thing as a vote held for the sovereign people of Scotland wherever they were in 1707.
    This then leads my thoughts back to the treaty of Arbroath. If the barons and clergy all agreed sovereignty to the Scottish people and our country of Scotland, being belonging to us over and above themselves for all time, how has it come to be that we even believe or have let our psyche be persuaded that the 1707 treaty holds any water.
    It is obvious to the slowest thinkers that the two dates with both barons and clergy do not correlate. The barons did not have authority of the sovereign people of Scotland and were not even elected by the people of Scotland in 1706/07. And even supposing they claimed they were elected, that authority did not extend to secrecy in joining with England against the wishes of Scottish people.
    Are we all thinking that the 1707 treaty was just hogwash or is it just me thinking in to simplistic a way.
    I am sure I smell a rat, a smell that has come down through the centuries, and still lingers to this day, a smell that says we are not joined to England, it’s all make believe, skulduggery,
    Let us use land tax to tax the landed gentry out of, and of the lands of Scotland.

  24. O/T

    You’ll all have noticed that the BBC news site makes a point of hiding the English only daily coronavirus deaths whilst they are right in your face on the Scottish, Welsh and NIrish sites. Is it my imagination that when you read this article, the first few lines, you’d initially think that the two NHS nurses who unfortunately died recently were Scottish?

      • Petra,

        The propaganda ‘works’ *within* that three-nation model in other ways, too:

        Scotland: Updates as Scotland responds to pandemic
        (i.e. Scotland is being proactive. Yes, I know BBCS are loath to admit that SG are acting well in this, but at least there is a ‘response’ to the virus).

        Northern Ireland: Coronoavirus in NI: Latest news and advice
        (i.e. NI is receiving information and tips as to how stay healthy/recognise symptoms).

        Wales: Latest on how the virus is affecting Wales
        (i.e. Wales is suffering from the coronavirus and there is nothing to indicate that the WG or any other persons are doing anything about it. Wales is just passively the idea of being ‘affected’ by said virus).

        • Baad, Baad Wales, WS. I hope that the Welsh people keep all of this in mind when this crisis is over. In fact I’m seriously thinking of moving there when we get Independence for Scotland to help counter the English votes. Maybe the Irish will join us?

  25. Be warned, Scotland!

    Yes, we all know of ‘our’ titular Prince hastening himself back to your country and enraging and infecting locals in equal measure as had his toothpaste tube for him (no change there) up in ‘Bonnie Scotland’.

    However, it seems that other Anglos have taken up his lead – well, if it’s good enough for HRH, why not them? – and are entering my country as illegal immigrants. They’ll be trying their best (? worst) in Berwick, soon enough – if they haven’t already.

    Selfish scumbags the lot of them.

    • Selfish to the core WS. And I don’t get how they are getting away with doing this when people are being stopped in the streets and being asked where they are going / what they’re doing. If breaching guidelines / legislation they are being sent straight home.

      I see that a Councillor is requesting that the army blockades the route into Anglesey. Long overdue, IMO. Block the routes into Scotland and Wales overall. Wales of course would be more difficult, but not impossible, to cover.

    • Same in ma hoose!
      Before my time, but apparently one night as the tune started my granny was trying to pull my (deaf) grandfather onto his feet. He refused and kept saying, ‘No. She wouldnae stand for me!’ He’d turned off his hearing aid and didn’t know my grannny was trying to tell him there was smoke coming out of his trouser pocket where he’d stuck his pipe!

  26. Just a little mention here for that music track at the end – it’s genius! It should be broadcast far and wide as it just might get the message across!!! Absolutely brilliant. I’m sure Freddie would approve 🙂

  27. Meantime,HM PM is inviting the opposition parties to share the blame.
    Will HM accept that her PM is a complete disaster or,as usual,dodge the bullet and ask her serfs to unite behind her government in the interests of the country.
    Whose country is it anyway?

  28. I would rather burn in the fires of hell than watch that nonsense. Oh how they love to ram their blatant propaganda down our throats at every opportunity and the gullible poor souls just lap it up.

    They live in luxury without a care in the world whilst the peasants starve to death or die of plague.

    Sometimes I wonder if he really did get a mild dose of the plague or was it all one big lie.

    p.s. Some really good articles on here.

  29. ” it’s my proud boast that I’ve made it into late middle age without ever once having seen Liz Windsor address the UK.”


    My parents first got a television on 23rd December 1968. Despite this new technology being the 8th wonder of the World at the time I still recall, as a 7 year old, walking out of the house at 1 minute to 3pm on Christmas Day, 2 days later.

    I have avoided the ‘Queen’s Speech’ ever since and all other televised Royal ‘events’ such as the various weddings of the extended family of half-wits, dim-wits, f@ckwits and congenital idiots ever since.

  30. When Mrs Coburg’s on the telly I never know who she’s speaking to, is it the United Kingdom or Great Britain or England or *the country*, and if so which one, or is it all under the collective misappropriation and perpetuation of the lie that is the phrase *the country*

    I’m so confused as to where I live and who I am, I don’t know if I’m an English colonist or a Scotsman who’s *allowed* to call himself a Scotsman because they say I can when they say so but not when I choose to

  31. This is what it means to be “Better Together”: to grovel before the queen and her brood, god bless her; to slave for them, sweat blood for them, Queue at food banks, so they can be fed & watered in grand style, have pointless unrewarding jobs so that they might play at having work by representing charity, drink austerity to the dregs that they might be happy, wear cheap clothes from primark that they might wear silks and jewels, pay your taxes that they might be spared from paying them at all, be familiar with all their lives and heap adulation upon them, that they might walk in pride and think themselves as better than you.

    And for all this, the thanks you get is sneering contempt; and yet, so many of us, suffering a poverty of spirit, imagination and dignity bear these slights as the essential ingredient for being “British”

    *with thanks to Mr Twain

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