Alister Jack’s Mini-Me

If by some cosmic reordering of the very atoms of his body, Alister Jack suddenly ceased to exist and turned into an item of soft furnishing, would anyone notice any difference? The answer is no, because Alister would turn into a union jack bedspread to be draped over the policy of the British Government in Scotland, which is exactly the same function that he has just now. The only difference is that the bedspread will keep you warm as it envelops you in British nationalism. Alister has only ever been known to leave people in Scotland cold.

Search through the pronouncements of Alister Jack and you will look in vain for anything, anything at all, which could be construed as ensuring that Scotland has a voice and a presence at the topmost levels of the British Government. All that Alister ever does is to promote the British Government and British nationalism in Scotland, and in doing so he does not have the slightest hesitation in using taxpayers’ money to make party political points – as he did when he used the official website of the Office of the Scotland Secretary to republish an article that he’d written for the Daily Mail attacking the Scottish Government and praising the leader of the Scottish Conservatives.

So it’s not really a surprise to discover that on the official website of the Office of the Secretary of State for Scotland there’s a banner bearing the English slogan “Stay alert, control the virus, save lives” and not the official government slogan in Scotland “Stay at home, protect the NHS, save lives”. And let’s not even get into the ludicrousness of being told to stay alert by a man who’s not even alert to the difference between a bridge and a tunnel. The Herald newspaper points out that the links on the official website point to Westminster’s “Stay alert” advice, which only applies in England. Even in the midst of a national emergency which has taken hundreds of lives in Scotland, Alister Jack still sees his main job as being to undermine the Scottish Government. And he’s using your tax money to do so.

What applies to Alister Jack applies equally to Ian Murray, Labour’s Shadow Scotland Secretary. You might think that his job title ought to give him a wee clue as to what he’s supposed to be doing. That would be shadowing the Scotland Secretary, criticising him, demonstrating where he’s not standing up for Scotland within the UK, and framing better ways of ensuring that Scotland’s voice can be heard at a UK level. But no. Ian thinks that his job title is really Alister Jack’s Mini-Me. Ian is what you’d get if Alister Jack was less posh and wore polyester suits.

Search through the pronouncements that Ian Murray has made in his relatively short period of time in office, and you will be searching in vain for any criticisms of Alister Jack or his office. From Ian there has been not a word about how Alister is party politicking in the office of Secretary of State for Scotland and using it as a weapon in the campaign against those vile nats. There’s been nothing at all about how Labour would use the Scotland Office to ensure that Scotland has a stronger and clearer voice at UK level. Instead all you get from Ian are criticisms of the Scottish Government. His job, as he sees it, is to pander to the Tories in Edinburgh South who voted for him tactically. He’s certainly not going to attack the Tories.

British nationalists are very fond of telling us that within the UK Scotland enjoys the best of both worlds. It’s always been a dubious claim at the best of times, but it has been utterly destroyed during the current crisis. What Scotland has within the UK is the inability to use the full powers of an independent country combined with representatives within the British state who use their power and their offices to undermine the devolved government that Scotland does have. They’ll twist anything that they can find in order to do so.

Ian is now demanding to know why the Scottish Government didn’t impose lockdown earlier than it did, given that we now know there was an outbreak of the virus at a Nike conference in an Edinburgh hotel at the end of February. He insists, without evidence, that the Scottish Government both knew about this outbreak at the time and that it deliberately covered it up. This is Ian Red White and Blue Murray here, who if Scotland had imposed lockdown before the rest of the UK would have screamed from the rooftops that Nicola Sturgeon was politicising the virus and using it to promote separatism.

Now he’s claiming that he’d have supported an early lockdown all along. Suuuuuure you would Ian. You’re not a hypocrite at all. Does Ian honestly expect us to believe that the Labour party in Scotland would have supported an SNP government in unilaterally diverging from UK policy extremely early in the outbreak, knowing only what we knew then? All we’d have heard from Ian and his pals would have been condemnation of Nicola Sturgeon for risking Scottish jobs and livelihoods. Health may be devolved, but economic policy is not.

All that Ian is doing now is using hindsight to attack the Scottish Government for doing precisely what Ian always wanted the Scottish Government to do all along – to follow UK policy. It’s just a shame that he doesn’t exhibit even a tiny fraction of the same prosecutory zeal when it comes to the actions of the British Government.

Today Ian is telling anyone who will listen that the situation in Scottish care homes is a “national shame”. There is a tragically high death rate in care homes in Scotland, just as there is in the rest of the UK and across Europe. Just today Ian’s boss Keir Starmer asked Boris Johnson during Prime Minister’s Questions why the early advice to care homes from the British Government was that an outbreak in care homes was unlikely. Johnson denied that this was the case. However the exact passage from the guidelines as given by Public Health England at the time reads : “This guidance is intended for the current position in the UK where there is currently no transmission of Covid-19 in the community. It is therefore very unlikely that anyone receiving care in a care home or the community will become infected.”
(Source : )

Scottish care homes, exactly like those in the rest of the UK, relied upon that advice from the British Government. Now we’re all playing catch up because of faulty advice from the British Government in the early days of the outbreak. Unlike the British Government which has direct responsibility in England, the Scottish Government has made far more assiduous efforts to collect data on deaths in care homes and in the community. And now because it has done so it is being criticised by the likes of Ian because the official Scottish figures are worse than those in England. Yet even as Ian was criticising the Scottish Government, his own boss was pointing out to Boris Johnson that the true extent of deaths in care homes in England was likely to be considerably worse than the official figures admit to. There is an excess of 10,000 deaths in English care homes which are not counted in the official figures.

None of this is to pretend that the Scottish Government has never made mistakes. All governments dealing with a crisis of this magnitude have made mistakes. However what is not legitimate criticism is when people who spend their entire professional lives berating the Scottish Government for diverging from British policies now demand that the Scottish Government should have diverged from British policies earlier and more assertively. That’s not criticism, that’s rank hypocrisy. And that is why the Labour party in Scotland is descending to a minor party in the polls. We see what you are Ian, even if you can’t see yourself.

Update 7.20pm: Number 10 has used the passage from the Public Health England advice quoted above to claim that Keir Starmer was misquoting the advice and therefore Boris Johnson was correct to state that the British Government did not claim that people in care homes were not at risk of infection. Downing Street said that Keir Starmer had added a “remains” and missed out the “therefore” in the statement he read out during PMQs.  However it turns out that Keir Starmer was actually quoting from a different section of the advice, which reads as follows: “During normal day-to-day activities facemasks do not provide protection from respiratory viruses, such as COVID-19 and do not need to be worn by staff in any of these settings. Facemasks are only recommended to be worn by infected individuals when advised by a healthcare worker, to reduce the risk of transmitting the infection to other people. It remains very unlikely that people receiving care in a care home or the community will become infected.” So Boris Johnson was incorrect after all. Who’d have thought it.  See HERE for source.

And finally, because we could all do with some cheering up during these difficult times…

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65 thoughts on “Alister Jack’s Mini-Me

  1. Ah Ian Murray – Labours last MP in Scotland.

    The man who said the SNP and its voters were a boil that needed lancing. Who declared he was happy that labour destroyed itself to keep Scotland in the union. An MP who relies on tory votes to keep in a job. A man who publicly attacked Corbyn when he tried to become leader, then had the balls to ask to stay on as labors shadow Scottish secretary.

    Opportunistic is one word you can use. I prefer the phrase “Useful idiot”

    This man isn’t Alister Jacks mini me – that’s Carlaws job.

    If Alistair Jack is a cheap knock off Dr Evil, Ian Murray is his henchman.

  2. No surprise there then! Slightly off topic but I have been meaning to ask for some time now. Is anybody collating all the lies, cock ups and cover ups that have taken place ever since LBJ came to office – or even before then, during Brexshit? We have another 5 years of this stuff and I’m afraid that by the time of the next election all of this useful ammo will have been forgotten about. It would make a very interesting leaflet to post through peoples doors. Just a thought….

  3. These and other things ensure that Ian Murray will always be a *shadow* of another man

    The title fits

  4. Wonderful , Paul.

    Alister Jack is no longer exhorting us Scots to ‘protect the NHS’.

    The UK is the 5th largest economy in the world, and subsidises too wee too poor Scotland. The UK economy shrunk by 2% Jan to March, and is predicted to shrink a further 6% from April to June.
    When England (sic) leaves the EU in December it is forecast that the economy will immediately shrink by another 9.3% on a WTO No Deal exit, which is inevitable now, which fortuitously is what the Money Men and Disaster Capitalists who work Johnson’s puppet strings demanded in the first place.
    As ‘5th largest economy’ the UK accounts for 2% of the world’s economy, a very poor 5th indeed, and survives on Money Shuffling for the US and China, and Russian Oligarchs.

    By January 2021 we shall have reached ‘Peak Tory’, and Scotland will have been plunged into Victorian levels of poverty and despair.
    If we are mug enough to let them away with it.
    WE voted to Remain in Europe, and remain we shall.
    Indyref 2 has not been shelved. It is bubbling away nicely.

    I expect shots of crowds gathering Hyde Park, and golfers on England’s fairways on Brit Scots TV tonight, to remind us of how life has returned to ‘normal’ in Merrie England, while that wee bastur Sturgeon is stopping the Jocks from enjoying themselves.

    Murray is merely a wee bloated Hanger On, not even worthy of comment.
    I consider him our pet Brit Red Tory, which we keep as reminder of our colonial past.

    Perhaps some students should place a traffic cone on his bonce.

  5. Murray’s leader in Scotland Robin Loxley was at it in Holyrood at FM questions as well. He accused the Scottish Government of presiding over a care home death rate more than double those recorded in English care homes.

    The FM put him right when she pointed out the reason for the difference in her view was that the Scottish figures were more robustly reported compared to the English statistics. She pointed to a study released today by the London Scholl of Economics who have calculated that the true numbers of deaths in care homes in England & Wales are in excess of 22,000 compared with 8,314 given as the official figure.

    “More than 22,000 care home residents in England and Wales may have died as a direct or indirect result of Covid-19, academics have calculated – more than double the number stated as passing away from the disease in official figures.”

  6. And the point is if we had gained independence yesterday, we would not vote for him or the tories this side of the border, and unlike British elections that cheat and schemes for fpp and list seat, they simple would be eradicated in Scotland,
    Let’s hope for a fairer voting system after becoming independent.

  7. Paul.The very sad thing is in Scotland many thousands vote for that pair of numpties To stand as their MP.just the same as people voted for the likes of Mundell.Carmichael.etc.and there is every chance if there was a general
    Election tomorrow.they would be voted in again.that is what we are up
    Against.and not one of them does a thing to promote the interests of their
    Own country Scotland.
    Someway or another we have to get rid of this lot (.?.)
    The quicker we gain independence the better cannot come soon enough.

    • We are a country like any other in the world . We have intelligent people , we have smart people , we have average people , we have slow people , we have stupid people , we have moronic people and then we have people who vote for Alister Jack , Ian Murray and the liar Carmichael !

  8. Yes James,let’s hope a more balanced parliament after independence,I don’t mind the PR system but surely the ‘Parties’ must be registered in this country.

    The answer to the wee murray is,so you’re happy with the doris that 500 people are dying each day from the virus?
    Saw the change in propaganda,doris changed the bad news graph and the advice from February about care homes.
    I was chatting to an onionist neighbour today and even he has seen through the Nike plot.
    Lies and deceit as usual.

  9. We’re stuck with the Charlatan and his Jack-a-tory just as long as Labour’s last stand in Scotland officially, but Independence is become a racing certainty before then…
    Their combined charisma has done much for the Indy cause, telling at least 50% of the population that they don’t understand was never going to end well.
    As “never hurry a Murray” bounces off the wall in time to his thick skull impacting, the sound of suddenly short-sighted Scots arguing “which windae?” on his final departure will be his most lasting memory as the last shadow English ambastador to Scotland..

  10. En passant, that’s quite a Press Team B-Lister Jack has put together, at no cost to the tax payer.
    Peter Mahon, Border TV (formerly at the Hootsman) Glenn Campbell BBC Jockland, and Tom Gordon the Herald Britland. (Where has he been hiding?)

    They are always front and centre letting ud know what the Governor General is thinking these days, aren’t they?
    Just sayin’, like.

    Today’s Winning Headline in the ‘Rain Is Wet’ category? goes to the Herald Britland for:
    ‘The Poor Are Twice As Likely To Die from Coronavirus’.
    Hold the front page!

    • Yes, those “usual suspects” are very familiar to me also.

      But whatever happened to the bloated herd of PR minions “Union” Jack’s woeful predecessor (wotsisname?) hired at vast public expense to populate the English Scottish Office Northern Outpost in Edinburgh? All “working at home”, maybe? (Or helping the BBC make backstabbing programmes to undermine the SG? Perish the thought…)

  11. Never mind. The “Scottish “ media will take Jack to task for his treachery. I’m sure Daley will be working on it for his next disclosure.

  12. Pingback: Alister Jack’s Mini-Me | speymouth

  13. Why are nonentities Carlaw.and Leonard being allowed to state
    That more people have died in old folks homes in Scotland.when
    It has just been released that over.10.000.people Have died in homes
    In England.lies lies lies.SNPBAAAAD

  14. Maurice Golden, thicko Blue Tory of the week, on Brewer’s midweek farce.
    Nicola Sturgeon is showing ‘animosity’ towards private care homes.
    Evidence is there none.
    He with the Ken Dodd hair do…Brewer ripped him a spare asshole.
    He is a pointless list Blue Tory mouthpiece.. I repeat, £68 k a year for idiots.

    Brewer screams, maybe there’s nothing more that we can do to stop the spread of Covid 19 in Care Homes, but DO SOMETHING, Kate Forbes.

    Andrew Kerr attempts to explain what Golden and Carjack Lawson REALLY were trying to say, rescuing his Brit Nat Nutters; it was deliciously cringeworthy.
    And Care Homes and dodgy employers are lying as a matter of course, agree both Kerr and Brewer.
    There is no point to a programme billing itself as ‘Politics Scotland that spends so much time on English Politics, btw.
    On their wee smirk, nudge nudge wink wink at their perceived view that ‘virtual inspectors’ of care homes, and later, on employers were pointless, ‘cos care home managers and employers could say anything they liked and ignore the guidelines and precautions, and probably would, those employers could be charged with violation of H&S regulations and charged with manslaughter if an employee died because of their lies.

    Manslaughter, convicted and sent to jail. Not a laughing matter now Brewdog and Kerr.
    To inform, educate and entertain.
    None out of three BBC Jockland.

  15. We all thought doris said on SUnday evening that French Air travellers wouldn’t be put into quarantine but other foreigners as there was an agreement.
    Seems today we missed the Ts & Cs, we missed the FOR NOW.
    Wonder if the fact that we are still in the backstop period had anything to do with this change that they now will be subject,WHEN it’s introduced.
    This is called a government,wonder when they start telling us the proper information.
    A daily graph,published for SEVEN weeks,showing comparison with other countries Withdrawn,as it is unhelpful to show.
    Aye Right,now it shows the doris has won the European Cup for the bestest performance in dealing with the virus.
    Think LBC say it’s becoming more noticed in parliament that the doris isn’t performing well without the cast of hundreds cat calling to drown out the opposition.

  16. “Germany will start to ease some of the border controls introduced to slow the spread of the coronavirus from Saturday with the aim of having free travel in Europe from June 15, Interior Minister Horst Seehofer said.

    Seehofer said that general border controls agreed with France, Switzerland, and Austria due to end on May 15 would be extended until June 16 but as many crossings as possible would be reopened.”

    Once again Johnson is left well behind and is now trying to close the stable door after the horses have bolted. I cannot see now, how the UK will introduce quarantine measures at UK borders just as the rest of the EU open theirs up. Unlikely to happen or they would have done it NOW. It’s much more likely that other EU countries will be wanting to keep us out being the state with the greatest number of infections and deaths. Johnson is a deluded fool.

    This government is unbelievably useless, how much more evidence do the Unionists in Scotland need before deserting support for incompetents such as Johnson, Hancock, Gove, Patel… and on and on and on.

  17. A blogger I used to follow changed the most appropriate name for Jack and Murray to “quizmasters”. I can imagine Jack and Murray fighting for last place in any quiz they were involved in. Especially if there were any Scottish questions.

  18. I’m given to understand that there will be an announcement over the next couple of weeks of a national unity government with representation from the devolved administrations as well as the Westminster opposition.

    Not surprised really, but a moment to pause ad consider.

    • This news from the Guardian isn’t anything to do with a national unity government but does seem to be an attempt to include the devolved governments more closely in decision making going forward.

      “The government has unveiled five new taskforces devoted to vulnerable sectors of the economy, intended to liaise with unions and others to see how soon each sector can safely resume work with coronavirus distancing measures…

      The taskforces are intended to examine how reopening could happen in each sector, and will liaise with unions and industry leaders, as well as public health experts and the devolved governments in Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland.”

      Personally, I’d prefer it if we didn’t take part but instead, we made decisions that were best suited to the situation in Scotland as and when appropriate for this country.

    • A National Unity Government? Is this a ploy to draw Nicola Sturgeon, et al, into their web of corruption, incompetence and deceit? Mass murder, imo. Feart to face the forthcoming flack for the outcome of their sole hellish decisions up until now?

      • It might be worth pointing out that a ‘ united kingdom ‘ government is supposed to be a national unity government anyway. You might say that proposing a national unity government could be construed as an admission that the union’s current model has failed.

  19. A national unity government will enable us, Westminster, to stifle comments from Wales, N Ireland, and Scottish politicians as we England will have the largest representation, and so can block inopportune Covid performance comparisons.

    “We must speak with one voice, England’s”

    Boris trying to claw back speaking for his England gaff.
    “You damn fool”, it is Britain, the UK, not England you must speak of…. yes yes, we know the reality, some things are best unsaid.

    Scottish Affairs Committee at Westminster,anyone?

  20. When final count is in. When there is an inquiry. Both sides of the house will wish they’d thought before they talked. Before they put their narrow political agendas before the needs of people.

    A pandemic is exactly the wrong time to be playing schoolyard party politics. I may have mentioned it once or twice, but people suffering loss will not be forgiving of those politicians. They have quite enough personal grief on their plate about now.

  21. Oh dear, Bawrash Johnson lied to Northern Irish business about checks on goods after Brexit.
    Who would believe it?

    Brexit will mean checks on goods crossing Irish Sea, government admits

    “The government has privately conceded there will be post-Brexit checks on goods crossing the Irish Sea, months after Boris Johnson insisted there would be no such trade barriers.

    In a letter to the executive office in Stormont, the government confirmed there would be border control posts in three ports, Belfast, Warrenpoint, and Larne.”

    Who would trust such a slimy creature when he talks of his plans to protect people from Covid-19?

    Only the intellectually challenged greedy bastards or those that refuse to surrender to a virus, I guess. I and the rest of mine won’t be trusting him that’s for sure, each to their own.

    • I love WGD’s play on various names, however, your play on the English PM’s name is the best yet, Bawrash Johnson, I nearly spat my coffee out when I read that.

    • It was a good bet he’d throw N.I. and the D.U.P. under a bus at the first opportunity.

      They had plenty of warnings tbf. They simply chose to ignore them. They were also a bit busy thinking they had their fifteen minutes of fame when their votes in the house meant something. Bit short sighted if truth be told.

      Fifteen minutes doesn’t last very long in public life. 😎

    • Also? (If you were the cynical type) It’d be another good bet that they’ll use the covid outbreak to cover the affects of Brexit on the economy.

      • Yep, I mean border control posts to be built at three ports in Northern Ireland, yet nary a whisper and no one bats an eyelid.

  22. BBC Scotland given the leader of Inverclyde Council ( Labour) free reign to speak about the area having a larger Covid-19 infection and death rate. Poor housing, unemployment, social deprivation. He covers Port Glasgow as a councillor but lives in nearby Kilmacolm so no issue there.

    Why do such politicians cling to Unionism as its icon is a question never asked.

    What action can the labour council do. As for the past 70 post years they have no radical response other than more of the same.This is the best Unionism can provide. The professor from London talks about fears of the lessening the lock down as does the Councillor but does not explain that this an England stand alone Position and not Scotland. Good piece of mixed messaging BBC.

    The inaccurate Fife document is pushed by the double barrelled named bbc reporter as proof the whole of Scotland is not following the Health Protection Scotland. Fife council and partnership should sort it out.
    How can people who don’t drive get tested. Other areas I know use Hackney taxis with proper shielding and driver protected.

    The nit picking I cannie dae that is still being promoted.

  23. The death rate is half in Scotland compared to the rest of the UK. The norm is 1,000 a week average. (50,000 a year). When that is taken in to account the death rate is negligible because of measures taken and continued in Scotland.

    The Scottish Gov and SNHS are to be commended. The healthcare workers are marvellous. Dedicated and tremendous.

    The BBC/Press nonsense continues. Just ridiculous.

    What is a few weeks more in a lifetime. Extending the lockdown.

    Wait until the Brexit mess. The Tory unionist utter shambles.

  24. Hamish

    Give McCabe his due place and to be accurate.

    He stood in the Ward 1 Inverclyde East which includes Kilmacolm.
    Here were the results,
    Wilson Con 1767
    Curley SNP 1194
    McCabe Slab 953
    Boyland IND 356
    Stoyle SLIB 150
    The turn out was 52%,so nearly a Half didn’t bother to vote,strange that it was 52/48% split.
    He failed in the first preference count to get one on the 3 positions.
    On the SECOND count he got THIRD place.

    Was then elected LEADER of the Council.

    Bit pedantic but just shows how our system can give strange results.

    • He was elected leader – what does that say about the calibre of the rest ? Does James Kelly MSP have bloodlines in that area ?

  25. The Tories are charging migrant healthcare workers £thousands for healthcare and to stay in the UK. Even charging £thousands for children born in the UK to stay. They come to Europe because of the illegal wars instigated by Westminster,

  26. Places with a higher no of elderly % as a proportion will have a higher % no of deaths. Inverclyde, Cumbria? etc.

  27. Surprise, surprise!

    ‘Listen – Vote Leave whistleblower says the Government ‘hates the Scottish’.’

    ”The man who exposed the Vote Leave campaign’s overspending has said Scotland should get out of the Union “as soon as you can” because the UK Government “hate the Scottish”….


    Maybe wee Willie Winkie should think of moving to London, coronavirus capital, and taking a packet of rennies if he wants to ”settle his nerves.”

    ‘Watch – FMQs: Nicola Sturgeon: Only England has left four-nation strategy.’

    ”However, I (Rennie) am nervous about England and Scotland diverging from each other because it may compromise the clarity that has so far saved lives.”

  28. One rule for us, another set for them. The return of the ‘flippers’:

    Lancashire Conservative MP living on Anglesey during lockdown

    Why my part of the world is so fearful:

    Fears that north of Wales at higher risk of second Covid-19 wave if lockdown relaxed

  29. Just waiting for early June when the effects of England’s slackening of Covid lockdown shows a spike in cases and more deaths. Boris the murder king will be so happy at a result. Yes it is pre meditated killing.

  30. By necessity of the urgency of the Covid 19 stuation moves are being made as we speak for more fiscal powers to be transferred to Scotland supported by Fraser of Allander and others, and that answer was sneaked in to a question by a journalist at the FMs briefing today, I nearly jumped off my sofa, can this be right that the UK have or are agreeing to this

    Is crafty Nicola creeping towards Independence by stealthy agreement, I won’t be the only one who spotted that

    As the Covid 19 Unionist deniers or objectors arrange to have mass picnics in parks to show their misguided notions that by not voting for someone in your own country but politically supporting someone in another country makes you immune to a deadly virus in your own country one hopes that the stupidity of these people doesn’t lead to fatalities within their own families even although they dismiss the implications to our families who are trying to do the right thing

    One hopes they change their minds, and if they don’t jail’s too damn good for them

  31. Seems like the Scottish Government must only accept and impliment advice from the UKGovt that later proves to be correct and ignore advice from the UKGovt that later proves to be wrong and at no point query anyadvice that is given..

    How wonderful it is to be better together.

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