The emptiness in Johnson’s head

At Prime Minister’s Questions yesterday, Part Time Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson declared himself ‘very proud’ of the British Government’s record on handling the coronavirus epidemic. This is presumably very proud in the exact same sense in which a small toddler who has just learned how to use a potty shows off the products of their bowel movements to their parents’ guests. The difference being that Johnson is not remotely cute.

The creature who occupies the office of British Prime Minister is an abject lesson in what happens when you’re revealed to be not remotely as clever as you thought you were. Ambition and ego are no substitute for the ability to do the job, that much at least Johnson has in common with Gordie Broon. Like the man widely recognised as the worst Labour Prime Minister for decades, Johnson’s talents lay in scheming to get the top job, not in actually being able to do the top job once he’d got it.

Given that the record of the British Government has been woeful where it’s not been mistimed and incompetent, Johnson’s statement raises the question just what would it take for him to acknowledge that the performance of his government has been less than stellar. It’s far too much of a stretch to expect him to be ashamed of anything, given that he is genetically incapable of shame, guilt, contrition, or indeed anything approaching a normal human emotional response to bearing the responsbility for upwards of 60,000 deaths. At this stage we’d settle for ‘perhaps we could do a bit better’. But even that is beyond the limited range of Johnson’s pre-programmed responses. There are AI robots in Japan which would do a better job. These are primarily dedicated to sexual gratification, so there’s already a considerable similarity to the British Prime Minister.

On social media some people were sharing a photie of the side of Johnson’s head, taken during PMQs. The photie appeared to show a dark shadow that some thought looked like a black earpiece and it was taken as proof that Dominic Cummings literally has the ear of the Prime Minister. Suspicions were raised because at times Johnson seemed to be listening to someone other than anyone who was in the chamber. But that’s probably because the only voice he ever pays attention to is the one inside his own head, the voice that tells him that this is his birthright, and he’s rubbish at it. It whispers to him in Latin and it takes him a moment to translate it into fnaughs.

It’s far more likely that the dark shadow in his ear was the portal to the void that is inside his head. If it was an earpiece, there was a total jibbering idiot on the other end who was feeding him his lines. Let’s get real here, Johnson’s performance at PMQs was so godawful that he could have had a teleprompter and a Sky satellite dish hanging out of his arse and still no one would have suspected that he was being fed the answers, based on the bumbling garbage that was issuing from his gob.

The Prime Minister was unable to answer even the most basic questions from the Labour leader Keir Starmer. There was no reply when he was asked about the alert level that supposedly means it’s safe to begin loosening lockdown in England. There was no answer when he was asked if he knows what the current R rate is. There was no response when he was asked about the UK Statistics Authority’s characterisation of the British Government’s test figures as inadequate. Instead there was just a tetchy retort that he doesn’t “see the purpose of endless attacks on public trust and confidence”. There are a lot of things that our part time Prime Minister doesn’t see the purpose of. Like for starters being prepared for the questions that he’s likely to be asked at PMQs.

This is a Prime Minister whose entire career has been built upon an edifice of lies. He’s perfectly content to protect his advisor in mendacity when he chose to run a Landrover through the lockdown restrictions and take off to the north of England to do an eye test and told us all that Dominic had acted with integrity while he trashed the efforts and sacrifices of everyone in the UK who has gone without seeing their loved ones or been unable to say goodbye to a dying relative. Johnson has lied, prevaricated, misled, misdirected, and dissembled his way through this pandemic, and now he wants us to believe that it’s because Keir Starmer has been asking him perfectly reasonable questions that any halfway competent Prime Minister should have been able to answer with ease that it’s the Labour leader who’s undermining public trust. The bully crumbled under the slightest pressure, without his howler monkeys he’s nothing.

Johnson demanded that we trust him even as he uttered yet another brazen lie. After being pressed by Keir Starmer Johnson admitted that the current alert level in England is 4. Johnson insisted that Starmer “knows perfectly well” that the Alert level does allow lockdown easing. Starmer knows no such thing, because he knows perfectly well that the UK Government’s own guidelines state that at level 4 the current lockdown measures must be maintained.

It only got worse when the part time Prime Minister was invited by the SNP’s Ian Blackford to join the widespread condemnation of Donald Trump’s handling of the protests in the USA over the murder of George Floyd. Peaceful protesters being pepper sprayed and tear gassed so that Trump could pose waving a bible in front of a church for a photo op was a particularly crass example. Trump stood there in front of a church he doesn’t attend waving a text he’s never read in order to lay claim to a moral authority he’s never possessed while America burns. You might have thought that Johnson would leap at the chance to criticise a leader who’s been performing even worse than he has. Instead there was just more fnaughing, mumbling, and shuffling. The voice in the void in his earhole whispered a bleak nothingness, it’s the nearest thing that Johnson has got to a soul.

And finally, because we could all do with a laugh during these difficult times …

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51 thoughts on “The emptiness in Johnson’s head



    “Here is one thing I can write with an unusual degree of certainty and confidence: Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin would not have been charged with the (third-degree) murder of George Floyd had the United States not been teetering on a knife edge of open revolt.”

    “Had demonstrators not turned out in massive numbers on the streets and refused to be corralled back home by the threat of police violence, the US legal system would have simply turned a blind eye to Chauvin’s act of extreme brutality, as it has done before over countless similar acts.”

    British journalist Jonathan Cook provides a masterclass on how a crack has now opened up between the elite and the police with the charging of charging of Chauvin with murder. This has led the normally unaccountable police in other cities to vent their rage by attacking reporters and others generating media reports that may hold them to account. A brilliant exposition of the power relationships between the elite, the police and the military in the United States, as the US empire teeters on the very edge of destruction.

    “As US protests show, the challenge is how to rise above the violence inherent in state power,” by Jonathan Cook, 2nd June 2020 – Jonathan Cook blog –

    • “The issues currently being exposed to the harsh glare of daylight get to the heart of what modern states are there to do – matters rarely discussed outside of political theory classes.”

      With the example of state power in the U.S. laid bare readers in Scotland can compare it to Craig Murray’s description of Britain, where the police have _far_more_ impunity than in the U.S.

      Which, you might think, is _highly_relevant_ to a Scotland that will pursue independence in the face of every obstacle that the big-brother surveillance state that is modern Britain can create.

      ‘Racist Killing and Impunity’, by Craig Murray, 30th of May, 2020 – Craig Murray blog –

    • thanks for sharing this article, it is excellent. I will be following this blog from now on.

  2. Sad thing is in the main the people of England are still likely to vote Tory. The press as here are Tory controlled by offshore tax avoiders and control the agenda.
    Like the care home issue re covid. Carlaw and Leonard seem to believe privately owned care homes owned by faceless speculators are somehow the same as the nhs. They are not. Should they be is another question. As private football clubs get their “stars” tested maybe they should divert their efforts to their fellow private care providers. In general public/ local authority care homes have less deaths. Carlaw won’t mention that as he doesn’t like public sector.

  3. I’ve just watched PMQs and FMQs in succession. In the former, you have the Tory PM pleading for understanding and unity from Starmer and accuses him of undermining public confidence with his attacks – and in the latter you have the Tory leader in Scotland (Carlaw?) full of spite and venom and endeavour to undermine confidence in the Scottish Government’s handling of the crisis. The only person emerging with any credit for managing the outbreak, aside from the NZ premier is Nicola Sturgeon. Of course she will make mistakes. This is a formidable opponent.

    But she is honest, humble and will learn as time passes. In her, we should give our trust and wholehearted support. Never trust liars or opportunists like Carlaw and Johnson.

    As if we didn’t know.

  4. Boris Johnson the Cowardly Lion, Keir Starmer the Tin Man, Jeremy Corbyn The Scarecrow, Theresa May the Wicked Witch, they haven’t been fortunate with their leaders down there,
    Nicola Sturgeon only needs a little dog and we’ve got the lockdown movie

  5. Does the PM do irony?

    “Speaking at the daily Covid-19 press conference in Downing Street, the Prime Minister said that meeting people indoors who do not live in your household “undermine and reverse all the progress we’ve made together”.

    – i newspaper
    03 June 2020

  6. Pingback: The emptiness in Johnson’s head | speymouth

  7. He’s the man who has been sacked from just about every job he ever had…or quit before he could be sacked. He is lazy and dishonest. A brazen liar. A bigot and a humbug.One colleague who worked with him on the Torygraph once said of him “Boris told such dreadful lies. It made one gasp and stretch one’s eyes.” All those stories about the EU. All that shit shoveling about straight bananas, regulation length cucumbers, banning prawn and cocktail flavour crisps, and the banning of toilet paper – all of it 100% complete and total bullshit, from the brain of Boris Johnson. When challenged on this, he laughed it off, saying he enjoyed chucking stones at “England’s” next door neighbor [Europe], it gave him a weird sense of power.

    Johnson is the high priest of Bullshit Mountain and he never stops. Underneath that childish desire for approval and applause, is a man who has tirelessly promoted himself and pushed and shoved to be top dog. A living embodiment of the dunning krueger effect and the peter principle, he has worked tirelessly to be an utter incompetent and yet still be the “top man”. A bizarre form of overachieving by showing himself to be utterly unsuited for the job but still get it. In Johnson’s world nothing succeeds like failure. He is literally flipping the world the finger. Laughing at it and us, as he succeeds despite his many deliberate failures. Look at me he says, I am utter shit at this, but I am still going to win, I am still the best and better than you.

    He never has to answer for it, because he honestly couldn’t give a fuck, and his privileged background means nothing can make him answer for it. the establishment looks after its own. He has learned that lesson well. But he has won the top job, and now having achieved through the sheer towering hubris that is his one defining trait; incompetence, he is realising that he really can’t do this job. This is one Job he can’t walk away from and can’t be sacked from for another 5 years. Hoist on his own petard he turns to the only man who can provide him with balls and a spine, as well as an attention to detail. Sadly the man he picked is Dominic Cummings. A misanthrope with a god complex, who holds everything in his field of vision as a lower form of life. This also includes Johnson. Not even that pastiche of a Dickensian Villain, Jacob Rees Mogg, figures much in Cummings machinations. But then COVID-19 came along and these three, third rate ugly sisters realised that they faced something that couldn’t be gaslighted and didn’t care what size your bank balance was. Then Trump, the savior of Brexit decided to declare war on peace, people who hate racists, the World Health Organisation and maybe start a civil war while promoting a war with china. Nixon only pretended to be a madman with a big stick. Trump really is a mad man with a big stick. Last but not least, the EU are openly wondering if the UK is, like Johnson, striving hard to fail at life and are making the necessary arrangements for our economy’s funeral.

    It is often said that all political careers end in failure, but few as swiftly as David Cameron’s. Or as catastrophically as Theresa May’s. They ended up having “Europe” chiseled into the lid of their political coffins, as did Major and Thatcher before them. For Johnson, its going to be down to Trumps insanity, Cummings being too clever by half but not half as clever as he thinks he is, and Europe kicking his worthless fat arse out of the single market. But either way, he does not need to ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for him.

  8. You didn’t really expect someone who bought water cannons to use in London to condemn violent suppression of protests did you ?

  9. Jesus H fucking Christ,

    Watching Newsnight now and the UK has overtakin the whole of the EU’s death toll combined.
    This shithole government has a worse death toll than all 27 EU countries put together.
    A UK of 66 million people has a worse death toll than the EU of 245 million people.
    I honestly can’t get my head round this.
    What an absolute disgrace.

    • Steady Jim, do you mean highest death toll per million? Plus the Eu population san the UK is more like 450 million. Haven’t seen the program though.

      • Yeah Chicmac you’re right on both counts, thanks for that.

        But still, a higher death toll per million than all 27 member states combined is a truly shocking indictment of this incompetent Westminster government.
        Plus, they’re sneaking a no deal Brexit under the radar.

        • Oh Jim, for goodness sake get your facts right before you post.

          What they were saying is the daily death rate in the UK is now higher than the whole EU combined.

          Apologies to all.

  10. A man child out of his depth relying on the I am entitled personality he was moulded into from childhood , the utterings of his dad at the start of this mess , ” if I want to go down the pub I jolly well will ” and no one will stop me , aye right grandad we don’t care who yer son is you will do what the rest of us do , and not like Rees Mogg commenting after the Grenfell Fire these people would be alive if they had disregarded firemens advice ,
    These people believe any type of advice is optional , because they are entitled and operate by different standards including Lying , Lying to them is all part of the jolly game that their lives are .

    On a lighter note I watched Trumps press secretary giving a master class in the alternate reality that he exists in ,Straight faced she denied tear gas & rubber bullets were used to clear peaceful protests in order for Trump could hold up a fkn Bilble in front of a church being used as a backdrop ,
    We watched it you fkn tramp , I thought she was deranged check out Trumps campaign manager who is Black by the way this Clown jumping up and down like a jack in the box mouth running like he was on speed , John Snow of Channel 4 was in shock trying to calm him down he took the madness of this president to a whole different level. very very troubling
    How did the world enter this twilight zone were we all sleeping or drugged . If this was a Movie it would be a instant flop for being to far fetched and beyond belief

    Apologies for the language

    • Missed hearing the doris on PMQ.
      Did hear LBC interviewing ken clarke,soon to be lord carke.
      He said that doris was back on form after his illness,great performance.
      When the interviewer asked about the anger in the replies,that’s just doris.
      When asked about not answering the questions, that was the correct response,he wouldn’twant the answers put on the record,best to avoid answering difficult issues.
      This is what passes for democracy, we know they don’t answer but to hear an ex chancer say that’s the game.
      A Farce of a place.
      Next stop the HoL for clarke,faithful supporter,even supports the mogg’s return to tradition even although his doctor said he was lucky to be retired and not need to expose himself to the risk.

  11. Trump’s bible stunt was a salute to the American Inquisition. The holiest of all among the gun totting, Christian, rightwing followers.

  12. This from the Guardian today via The Daily Telegraph
    “”Tens of thousands of Britons have had to be retested for coronavirus following a controversial decision to send swabs to a US laboratory.

    Almost 30,000 Britons will have to be retested for coronavirus costing taxpayer hundreds of thousands of pounds, the Telegraph reports.

    Ministers admitted that 67,000 Covid-19 tests were sent to a lab in the US over 10 days at the beginning of last month, after capacity at a lab in Northern Ireland suddenly stopped processing samples.

    The newspaper reveals that when these tests were returned to the UK, more than four in 10 — nearly 30,000 — were “voided” because of the way they had been processed. The cost to the taxpayer is likely to have run into hundreds of thousands of pounds.””

    Worth remembering the next time Carlaw et al bring up the subject of testing in Scotland which should be any moment now going by their previous performances

  13. Following on from Welsh Sion’s:- ”Does the PM do irony?” “Speaking at the daily Covid-19 press conference in Downing Street, the Prime Minister said that meeting people indoors who do not live in your household “undermine and reverse all the progress we’ve made together”.

    What about over 300 politicians passing through ”indoors”? Through a building where it’s impossible to adhere to social distancing rules?

    The 1720 mastermind Jacob Rees-Mogg is facing calls to resign now amid concerns that his CRAZY decision to recall parliament has created a coronavirus hotspot following Alok Sharma showing signs of being unwell in the House of Commons chamber (check out the video).

    So 300 odd politicians (plus HoC’s staff) have now headed home (by whatever means) to spread the virus far and wide.That includes Witchfinder General Ian Murray returning to Edinburgh.

    ”Part Time Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson declared himself ‘very proud’ of the British Government’s record on handling the coronavirus epidemic.”

    Doing a grand job, ain’t they?

    • That’s exactly what I was alluding to, Petra (although the Minister hadn’t fallen ill at the time of my posting. Or rather, we hadn’t been told he had …)

      • Yeah I could see that, WS. Just wondering how many more will have taken ill since you and I last posted on this subject.

  14. If there was ever a more irrelevant figure in the history of Scotland it would have to be Henry McLiesh, Henry the fence post sitter has come up with a new cunning plan to save Scotland from the horrendous effects of Brexit, wait now! don’t get too excted because Henry’s plan is to send the FM to Brussels to ask them for a separate extention to Brexit for Scotland alone

    I don’t think I need to go into all the ridiculous things that are wrong with that plan because it’s just too insulting to peoples intelligence but the one thing that is badly wrong and always has been is the Unionist attitude that Scotland must just *dae sumthin* yet still remain withing the Union that refuses to allow Scotland to *dae sumthin* and Henry McLiesh’s attitude just epitomises it yet again

    Scotland can be different yet stay as we are, Scotland must look at new ways of doing things, yet stay as we are, Scotland doesn’t need to be the same as England but yes it does

    Henry McLiesh wants Scotland to be Independent but he can’t utter that disloyal word, oh and like most Unionists he’s a coward, and Henry shouldn’t be a coward because one way or another I’m quite sure that England will manage to survive without Scotland, so he should stop worrying about them

  15. Is this for real? If so, over my dead body. Time for the Celts to take to the streets in protest that ”Celtic lives Matter.”


    ”BBC QT Health Warning: If you are of a nervous disposition and support Scottish independence look away.”


  16. Time for them all to self-certify that, ”they are unable to attend Westminster for medical or PUBLIC HEALTH reasons related to the pandemic.”

    If not, it’s high time that the vast majority of them were certified as being bloody-well insane. Shouldn’t be too difficult to get two doctors to do so. Starting with the doctors working for the ENHS.

  17. Jeezo what about the ”Emptiness in Carlaw’s head?” Playing at follow his empty headed master? Taking into account what’s happening at Westminster now he may have to do another of his U-turns.

    ”THE Scottish Greens have accused Jackson Carlaw of telling an “outright lie” and talking “absolute pish” in a row over the re-opening of Holyrood. SNP Constitutional Affairs Secretary Michael Russell also took to Twitter to call out Carlaw’s “grandstanding” after the Tory leader said in a press release yesterday that it was “now time to get things back up and running”.


    Check out Ann’s latest links on the Indyref2 site.

  18. So you have the confused Victorian throwback trio of Algernon “Monocle” Rees-Mogg, Bertie “Wooster” Johnson and Cummings “eyesight” Jeeves, running the Government and 21st Century Mother of all Parliaments of the UK.

    What could go wrong? What could possibly go wrong?

    • And why do all three of those have poor eyesight?
      – Refer to the Victorian values/ideas of the time.

      PS yesindyref2, would you like to keep in touch off the Dug’s page? I’m sure Paul would pass on my details to you if you do. Thank you both in advance.

  19. From the chatter on Facebook it sounds as if last night’s Dispatches on Ch4 is worth a watch. It was about the UK Gov response to the pandemic.

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