Who knew Gloucestershire was within 5 miles of Aberdeenshire

On the BBC’s main 6 o’clock news on Tuesday evening, Nicholas Witchell got a chance to gush again as members of the Windsor mafia, sorry the Royal Family, embarked on their first official functions to patronise the yokels since lockdown. Chas and Camilla were filmed waving from a safe distance at some peasants who work for the NHS in Gloucestershire. Aren’t they maaaaaaaavelous. The NHS workers, that is. Charles is a massive waste of space, time, energy, and above all public money. Except if you’re the BBC and Nicholas Witchell however. Nicholas doesn’t have any subscriptions to online porn services, this is because getting your rocks off as you gush about Charles or Will pontificating about inanities is pretty niche even by the standards of fetish websites. Besides, he gets all the spurting he needs presenting sychophantic items about the world’s greatest benefits scroungers on the BBC news.

Anyway, back to the grievance mongering, which is what we’re all about as independence supporters because everything is just so damn fantastic in the UK. World beaters, the UK. It has the highest death toll from coronavirus in Europe, and the worst affected economy, and it’s all presided over by a bumbling racist clown who doesn’t even know that Alistair Carmichael, the Lib Dem MP for Orkney and Shetland and former bruiser for Better Together isn’t an independence supporter. Everything that this British Government touches turns to the kind of toxic organic matter that Charles wouldn’t even have the gardener put on the organic flower bed at Highbury Park. Oh. That’s not the punching above our weight that Better Together had in mind, is it.

It is well known that Charles Windsor broke the lockdown regulations by travelling to his holiday home in Scotland not long after travel restrictions were put in place for the rest of us. Travel restrictions which we were told in no uncertain terms applied to everyone – with of course the exception of Dominic Cummings and his childcare and eye testing requirements. While there Charles exposed his staff and local people to the coronavirus infection he was harbouring, and in the process deprived residents of Aberdeenshire of the services of essential NHS resources. There has been no explanation for his selfish behaviour, much less an apology.

Now we discover that despite lockdown measures still being in place in Scotland, Chas and Cam have buggered off to the south of England. Perhaps he was in need of an eye test. Regular readers of this blog may be familiar with my deep and abiding interest in cartography, but try as I might I just can’t find Gloucestershire on any map showing it to be within 5 miles of Deeside. Neither could I find waving at peasants listed amongst those jobs considered to be performed by key workers. The lockdown restrictions have not been lifted in Scotland, not for Chas, not for anyone. The official regulations still state that no one should travel more than five miles from their home. There is no rider in small print saying unless you’re Charles Windsor and his entourage. There is of course outrage in the British media about Charles breaking the lockdown regulations for the second time. Ha. And indeed. Ha ha.

The UK is mired in entitlement and privilege. Anyone who is willing to sell out what little in the way of moral fibre, if indeed they had any to begin with, in order to defend this ramshackle and pathetic excuse in boosterism, exceptionalism, and sheer delusion soon finds themselves rapidly promoted in the media. Which brings us nicely to the media construct that is Ruth Davidson, who has been popping up in the papers recently in a desperate attempt to distract attention from the utter mess that her party is making of everything that it touches. In Scotland it’s not helped by the fact that the current branch office leader has all the charisma of a used carpet left out for the binmen to collect. Ruth is not entirely stupid, and she can see that the writing is on the wall for her precious union.

Ruth has taken to attacking people who really are experts in their fields. As opposed to Conservative cabinet ministers who should just be left in a field. One which not even Dominic Cummings would be able to locate while he’s out doing an eye test.

The current tactic from the Tories in Scotland is to attack the Scottish Government in an attempt to show that it’s as crap as Boris Johnson. This is a difficult task. Even the Scottish Government itself acknowledges that it has made mistakes in its handling of this crisis – which is something we don’t see the British Government doing. However trying to show that the Scottish Government is performing even worse than the British Government is a bit like trying to make the argument that Beethoven’s Piano Concerto Number 5 is a far less accomplished piece of music than the Birdie Song. Nevertheless, this doesn’t stop Ruth from trying.

Professor Devi Sridhar of Edinburgh University is a world renowned expert in public health and is one of the Scottish Government’s advisors. Yesterday she tweeted about how she thinks that Scottish schools can get back to some semblance of normality. Her tweet thread was retweeted by Peter Macmahon of Border TV with the implication that the professor was one of those people like the former Labour First Minister Jack McConnell who has been criticising the Scottish Government for not doing more to get children back to school. Professor Sridhar replied saying that she was ‘completely aligned’ with the Scottish Government, and that she supports the ‘cautious approach’ of the Scottish Government to lifting lockdown.

Ruth tweeted one of her snarky comments – in this case saying that someone obviously got “the hairdryer treatment”. This is because in Ruth’s imagination no one could possibly make a public declaration of support for the Scottish Government unless they’d been threatened. And this speaks volumes about Ruth Davidson’s own approach to dealing with her advisors and staff, none of which is at all pleasant or in keeping with the cheery chappie image that she so carefully fosters in the media. That’s as much a construct as Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson’s Boris the clown character. Ruth was very publicly slapped down by both Nicola Sturgeon and by Professor Sridhar. Ruth should apologise for her nasty assertion, but we all know what she’ll really do. She’ll hide away for a couple of days until it’s all died down and pop back up again when the coast is clear. And her pals in the media will let her get away with it again.

This is where we are now. We’re in a UK which is performing atrociously on every measure. The leaders of this British state rub their entitlement and privilege in our faces while they preach about us all being in this together. And at the same time they are universally incompetent, idiotic, and clueless. And lurking immediately below the shiny surface of media presentation there’s a deep seated nastiness. Scotland was promised the best of both worlds in 2014 in return for a no vote. What the British state has delivered is the worst of all worlds.

And finally … because this site likes cats as well as dugs – we’re bipetual.

Annual Dug Funder

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61 thoughts on “Who knew Gloucestershire was within 5 miles of Aberdeenshire

  1. Pingback: Who knew Gloucestershire was within 5 miles of Aberdeenshire | speymouth

  2. First 6 lines got me straight away.The behaviour of the “royals” is beneath contempt.Not only the Viral Prince but also Car crash Duke.They all think they can do whatever the f— they like (not to mention P. Andrew ).The sooner we get rid of them all the better.

  3. Davidson and Carlaw have certainly opted for attack mode. This may (?) shore up their hardcore base but it’s unlikely to win any converts.
    The chasm in pandemic performance between Westminster and Holyrood is apparent to all but the fanatically partisan. Seven day rolling average for Covid fatalities has Scotland at 2.8% of the UK total against a per capita standard of 8%. That’s before the spike in infections in the North of England meets Boris’ happy go lucky attitude to easing lockdown.
    Exchanges in Holyrood and the daily press conference are certainly getting spicy. This is to be welcomed.
    I particularly look forward to Sarah Smith coming round on the BBC rota. Last week Smith asked yet again about testing of Care home staff. Nicola’s reply was; “… as I’ve said before and anyone LISTENING will have heard …”. Ouch! That’s her telt.

  4. BoJo’s Panglossian performance at yesterday’s press conference was the most ludicrous since Chemical Ali’s reassurances to camera while the tanks moved into view in the background.

    All’s for the worst in the worst of all possible worlds would be closer to reality.

  5. Scotland still in lockdown you say. Well, if you were to break the five mile rule you could visit Strathspey and Badenoch, sorry Spey Valley, to all the second home owners who have recently moved up.
    And quite a number of people doing the North Five Hundred. Wonder where they are staying.
    Of course they don’t listen to Nicola, no no how very dare you tell us exceptional people what we can and cannot do. As for you little Scottish people cross that five mile limit and you are for it.

  6. O/T Please, nobody present that article in today’s Guardian for me, at least – perhaps some lurking compatriots might like to see it, though) in regard to Wales and England being ‘torn apart’ by Corona.

    The Guardian thinks it appropriate to feature a news story on my country (we very rarely feature in ‘Fleet Street’ MSM in any case) by doing a few vox pops of ex pats in Monmouthshire (the most English county in the country) and the tourist/Army ranges of the Brecon Beacons. And there’s a bit part for Marcus Duckpassage, the First Minister as well … With a totally incorrect assertion of 25% of Cymry now supporting indy 0 when the truer figure is more like 35% (of which over 40% are those who would vote Labour.)

    Apare me, at least – but anyone else interested in yer usual MSM dross will find it there. (And with the usual bile BTL as well.)

  7. Being an expert cartographer is where you went wrong Mr Kavanagh. You really need to be an expert at origami then you could have folded the damn map so that Gloucester is 5 miles from Royal Deeside. I am sure HRH has a flunkey for just a task.

    Ms Davidson was way, way out of her league when she tried to mix it with the Prof and Ms Sturgeon.

    The Prof is an expert in Global Public Health. The Global part is important because part of being Global is that you develop skills in diplomacy and tact in order to get the job done. You do not talk loosely and thus give hostages to fortune. These skills were clearly demonstrated in a rrcent interview she gave where the interviewer was clearly trying to trip her up but did not succeed. She saw him coming and was ready for him.

    Ms Davidson should retire quietly. She is a spent force ut obviously still trying to cause mischief.

  8. Lickarse Witchell ended his ‘report’ on the Royals with the breathless words …”The Royals are back at work …”
    Work ?????

    Is spite of these scroungers supposedly visiting the ”plebs” to praise THEIR work ( real work ) for the NHS , Lickarse endeavoured to cast William in the same mould as these ‘heroes’ because , in another life , he had flown helicopters and on occasion ( how many ? ) had to pick up casualties and transport them to hospital . Strewth !

    Pass the sick bag – the royal family sized one , please !

    • I used to live in what English speakers are pleased to call Snowdonia, and it was a daily spectacle seeing the yellow Seaking helicopter from RAF Valley going up on a daily basis to pick up these short way down ini wannabe Tensings.

      I’d be a happy to bet that a lot of these (self-imports from Englandshire for the most part) would drive their own misadventures (and thus block beds from locals at Ysbyty Gwynedd) in their hopes (nay, expectations) of being rescued by HRH Willy wales and hid crew.

      You can tell the ‘native reaction’ to such japes …

  9. I can’t watch any more Scottish media content without cultivating fantasies Hannibal Lecter would be ashamed of. I made the mistake of watching FMQs this lunchtime after a pleasant walk with the wee dug in the morning. All was good, but within fifteen minutes, I had dissected Carlaw’s spine whilst he was strapped to a large wooden spindle then buried Leonard up to his neck in a bog on Skye, prised his eyes open with matchsticks with a bottle of Avon Skin-So-Soft three feet away. When I read Davidson’s tweet, Buckhaven was invaded with Ebola infested zombies who kept Ruth for the feeding frenzy locally known as ‘hoors doovers’.

    If I ever return to Scotland it will have to be independent from these nutters, otherwise I’ll need a very secure room in Carstairs with lots of drugs.

    If I could ask a question of every politician, so we could determine their capacity and potential, it would be this:

    “Imagine a great catastrophe where all life on this planet was threatened with extinction. Right at the end we discover another planet, much the same as Earth – just as bountiful with an atmosphere, oceans and fresh water, with a rich variety of plants and animals – but no humans. We are able to send one spaceship containing a hundred children before life here is finally extinguished.

    All they can take with them is our advice and guidance on how to survive and prosper in their new home. Principles and practicalities.

    What advice would you give?”

    I think I would enjoy listening to the FM’s response – but as for the rest? I’d leave them to my imagination.

  10. Peter MacMahon of Border TV, the Secretary of State against Scotland’s very own representative on Earth, trying to pick a fight with the FM over a respected public health expert’s presumed (but entirely fictional) differences, whoda thunk it? I’m totally gobfandangled.

    And on a FMQ day when he knows he can avoid a response direct from the FM, one that he so richly merits, the little coward.

    I suppose it has the merit of making their increasingly-desperate finagling more and more obvious to even the least aware among us, though it does also leave one wondering if there is no depth left which these collaborationist media lowlifes won’t plumb…?

    • Every time he asks his questions at Nicola’s daily press conference, we wonder whether Alister Jackass has written them for him. Is he angling for a job with BBC Scotland?

    • It’s a Facebook group. I made the mistake of looking at this groups Facebook page yesterday and I am absolutely raging! They are campaigning for schools to go back in August with no social distancing, they have no respect for the health and safety of school staff and pupils and zero respect for hard working teaching staff whom they clearly view as overpaid childminders.
      The arrogance, ignorance and selfishness of these people is astounding.
      They are claiming to be non political but count a Jack McConnell amongst their posters and are asking for Iain Gray to join their campaign.
      The irony of calling for socially distanced marches around Scotland clearly escapes their ignorant minds. A couple of teachers have tried to post the article about the wee Dundee girl with Covid Toe Syndrome have had the post removed twice as it clearly doesn’t suit their narrative and vendetta against the Scottish Government. If you have the time or inclination please go in their page and make a complaint – thanks!

      • One wonders what the EIS, quoted by Rheinhart Leopardo in his weekly wee whine at FMQs today, thinks about this “childminding” wheeze. Still, mustn’t let any reality seep in to the (strictly amateur) performance, I suppose.

        (This seems to be the latest self-serving attempt at undermining public confidence, given that the care homes issue is now so very yesterday.)

        It all so laughably desperate. The vast majority of adults are massively relieved that Carless, Lonefangler or Runnie are nowhere near the business of dealing with CV-19. With one manufactured issue after another, the rampant ideological oppositionalists can’t even decide among themselves whether we’re coming out of lockdown too fast or too slow!

  11. Heard the doris on LBC radio waxing on about the new trade deal with Australia.
    Seems we are going to get TimTam biscuits and Vegimite.
    We are exporting to them Penguin biscuits and Bovril.
    This will be much the same as the Foster’s lager that was brewed in englandland.
    Then the wee bit at the end was the actual deal, Financial services or how to salt away dark money.
    Transporting biscuits 12,000 miles seems a good idea,carbon footprint and cost???
    No sign of it on the media though,must have been me.

  12. So apparently the schools should return as normal, covid is a past pandemic. Get back to work. Who says this? David Ickes? No a person named Jo Bisset co-founder of Us for Them as interviewed on bbc scotchland this evening. Never heard of her or them? no me neither. A quick google search no information, is it a charity , no information. So how on earth did Glenn Campbell, Broadcaster ( don’t blame me it’s Wikipedia) get the plummy mooth person On the television to spout forth such guff. Did the tories/Lib dems give Campbell the nod.journalism at its most subtle political banal…. now for nick witchell…

    • Channel 4 news tonight had a piece about schools re-opening. Teachers’ rep said ‘we should be following Scotland’s example [for opening schools]’ or words to that effect.


    • Hamish100,

      Googling reveals this:


      https://www.usforthem.co.uk/about (No Jo Bisset here)

      Also: Three mothers are considering suing the Government over school closures – amid claims they may have breached children’s human rights.

      The women have also written to the Secretary of State Gavin Williamson to ask whether the ‘long term physical and mental welfare’ of pupils has been considered, and to raise concerns about social distancing.


      Founders Molly Kingsley, 41, Liz Morris, 46, and Mrs Bett, 48, all from Cambridgeshire, have one child each returning to school and another still stuck at home.

      (Again: No Jo Bisset – I guess she’s the top Honcho for Scotland for UFT)

    • Sorry UsForThem is a Facebook group – I somehow managed to post my reply in the wrong place in the comments above!
      I made the mistake of looking at this groups Facebook page yesterday and I am absolutely raging! They are campaigning for schools to go back in August with no social distancing, they have no respect for the health and safety of school staff and pupils and zero respect for hard working teaching staff whom they clearly view as overpaid childminders.
      The arrogance, ignorance and selfishness of these people is astounding.
      They are claiming to be non political but count a Jack McConnell amongst their posters and are asking for Iain Gray to join their campaign.
      The irony of calling for socially distanced marches around Scotland clearly escapes their ignorant minds. A couple of teachers have tried to post the article about the wee Dundee girl with Covid Toe Syndrome have had the post removed twice as it clearly doesn’t suit their narrative and vendetta against the Scottish Government. It has certainly angered the entire teaching profession and is the Talk o the Steamie on the Scottish Primary Teachers page!
      They are certainly not going the right way about things going forward antagonising the entire teaching profession. Anyone who posts anything that doesn’t suit their narrative is promptly accused of trolling and bumped off the group.
      If you have the stomach for it, their posts are visible but I believe you have to join the group in order to post.
      If you have the time or inclination please go in their page and make a complaint – I did – thanks!

      • Thanks.i don’t do Facebook nor LinkedIn. What a closed life I have. Still why are bbc promoting a few parents who are clearly political

  13. It always amuses me when the sycophant Nicholas Witchell gushes over the royals…being the royal correspondent has undoubtably been good for him…Prince Charles however was famously overheard telling his sons he couldn’t stand the man! Quite understandable l suppose lol

  14. Another ‘saving the monuments’ rally in George Square tonight.
    Quick says carlos jackass, a demonstration is required.

  15. His Royal Walesness will have had a convenient tunnel/bridge/zip wire to wheech him from Bonnie Balmoral to southron England-shire.
    His actual, precious Royal feet won’t have touched ground on more than a half dozen occasions.
    We can’t have his hand-made, stitched by 10year-old Thai orphans, worn out too quickly, you know.

    Camilla looks out at the world; blankly, uncomprehendingly.
    “Is this IT?
    Married to Charlie the Chump? Who converses with daisies and buttercups, but only mumbles to me. Is he speaking Welsh? Or is it the language of plant “?

    It’s a long, long journey. Two entitled twits with nary a thought between them. Charlie’s valet taking him to the toilet. Cam holding in her farts—ever wonder why she has a permenent grimace on her old wrinkled face?

    Poor Wee Ruthie. Soon to get to the Lords. How will they justify her elevation? Will people even remember who she is? The Speaker snubbed, yet SHE gets a leg-up? This is why she is lashing out–trying to appear relevant.

    • Charlie (the right royal one) has barely spoken a word of my first language since the investiture farrago in my home town’s castle in 1969.

      He’s actively campaigned to prevent his son (and heir to the title of the Western Protectorate) from doing so.

      Nuff sed.

  16. Giving the number of, shall we say unflattering articles, about Harry and Meghan in the press, it seems they are not liked down south of the border.

    If we do get independence and there is a democratic wish to keep the royalty as head of state, maybe Harry and Meghan can be the first King and Queen of the newly independent Scotland?

    • I’ll agree to that, as set out in the Declaration of Arbroath.
      With the addition that it’s NOT hereditary. Possibly electable or fully discontinued.

  17. Is there any way that the SG could make it policy that only political parties with their headquarters actually in Scotland can take part in the Holyrood elections? asking for a friend…

  18. Ah, royalty. We should say something nice (like, at least they learned to speak English over the years), but then again…

  19. Never mind, the Royals & Co and the Chief Honcho of England will soon be flying round the world in their special RAF plane emblazoned with the colours of the union fleg, so that furrin’ people know who they are and where they’ve come from. It will cost us a mere £900,000 to do the painting thereof. The Brits really do believe that furrin’ people give a damn. ‘Flying the flag’ indeed. It’s quite sad really.

  20. The SNP have the powers to penalise second homes etc. They have chosen not to. My own rural area already festooned with traditional Scots Tories has now been inundated with English Tories relocating to their holiday homes. The same holiday homes, the address of which, they used to vote against Independence.

    We now have the absurd situation that white middle class English people are fleeing their multi ethnic societies for the qualms of an overwhelming white society that they hold in contempt. Bizarre.

    • I suspect Sturgeon will do nothing yet again. Schushnigg at least tried to preserve his countries sovereignty.

      • When was Nicola Sturgeon appointed as Chief Constable?

        If the postie fails to deliver your mail tomorrow you’ll blame Sturgeon, if your house suffers a power cut you’ll blame Sturgeon, if you lose your job because of Covid-19 you’ll blame Sturgeon.

        That’s the problem with the Sturgeon haters, she is responsible for EVERYTHING that idiots like you complain about. You think attacking Nicola Sturgeon will make gaining Independence easier?

        Then you’re a halfwit, you and you only are totally responsible for that.

        • Och, it is well known that the oppositionalist construct “Sturgeon” is both fairy godmother (who should be in every place at every instant fixing every problem with an airy wave of her magic wand) and also wicked stepmother (scheming to kill off as many unfortunates as she can cast her evil spells at).

          Jeez, while the actual wumman is so busy doing her best for us she has hardly time even to visit her own mum.

          There are selfish ingrates and there are astroturfers. DomCunningplans involved somewhere here with school returns, perhaps…?

    • According to BBC News App some of them have been arrested. It is high time these racist scumbags are stopped from intimidating ordinary people and kept away from the main square of my home city. Time they crawled back under there rocks

  21. Well I think that excellent update covered all the bases along with a reminder of some complete fannies in our society.

    I do wish that we could have woven Sarah Smith in there somehow, I am sure she is available.

  22. No, its sits with Sturgeons inability to demonstrate progressive independent leadership.

    The nights of her leadership are drawing close and will be shorter if she doesnt step up beyond the mark of a permanent secretary soon.

  23. Thanks.i don’t do Facebook nor LinkedIn. What a closed life I have. Still why are bbc promoting a few parents who are clearly political

  24. It is a sign that the BritNats are getting very unhappy with the way things are going in Scotland. All that example of shining leadership, getting all that unfortunate exposure on the BBC without being abruptly cut off or Sarah Smith and Glenn Campbell being able to “mediasplain” it all away.

    So the latest response comes from the blackshirts, long kept on a tight leash (apart from that little moment of “exuberance” on IR1 night) for fear it would alert too many “soft-no’s” to the reality of who their real “friends” were. Now trying to put on the frighteners instead with this lame excuse to “defend statues” that nobody but them cares a flying fart about.

    This is a naked attempt to escalate the “Ulsterisation” threat. But it reveals who these people truly are. No doubt we’ll be getting condemnation by the usual opposition suspects before too long. (cough)

  25. He pays £2Million tax on £20Million. No corporation or capital gains tax. Tax evaders. Get preferential treatment on the NHS.

    Johnston was trying to charge NHS workers for their treatment. Charging EU workers £thousands for British passports and rights.

    Trouble causers in George Square. More police than rioters.

    The Tory mess. The Brexit shambles. Deporting people. Then taking people from Hong Kong. Johnston U turns all the time.

  26. Not a single word of condemnation from Carlaw Leonard or Rennie, or Alister Jack, or Ian Murrau or Alistair Carmichael.
    They are silently approving of this display of disgusting mayhem lawlessnees and seriously metally psychotic behaviour.
    These vicious thugs are the Red Blue and Yellow Tories Blackshirts.
    Cause social unrest, blame the BadSNP.
    We really are at the Edge of Darkness. The UK is dead.

    • Unsurprising Jack, but at least the SNP and the Green party got it on the record by condemning it at FMQ’s, not a murmur from the other lot.

  27. Just catching up, the biggest broadband provider couldn’t provide, the 20th century was back in mode, without the old dial-up landline. About 3/4 weeks ago, the fly-by overhead raf entourage may well have been ‘his knob’s’ return to the south.

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